BALH2 FF: Hum Tum Kitne Paas Hain

Chapter 36-Magar Yeh Zaroori Tha

Here's my understanding of Priya's character in the context of the ongoing scenario in this story: sensible otherwise, Priya is someone who would get rather confused when it comes to her romantic feelings. We saw it on the show as well, how she brought up after the second interview that their marriage was a just deal when she began to feel for Ram. We saw her mind v. heart conflict many times- in her actions and monologues. Although the Priya in this story is quite different, I think even she would run away from her feelings instead of accepting them. Especially because the person concerned here is her closest friend. And with her past experiences, it would not be easy for her to embrace this feeling of love.

I hope this gives some perspective of why I'm showing Priya the way I am.

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Priya sat alone in her room, the events from a few hours back replaying in her head. As much as she tried, she was unable to shake off the feeling of guilt that had settled in her heart.

When Ram had suddenly appeared in front of her after days of her successfully avoiding him, she had begun to feel all those confusing feelings again. She was unsure about what to do or what was happening to her around Ram. And when he confronted her about this, she panicked and lashed out with those hurtful words, hoping to push him away.

In that moment, she thought picking up a fight with him was the best way to deal with the situation. But now that she had some time to calm down and reflect, she realized how wrong her reaction was.

Priya blankly stared at the wall in front of her. She felt a heavy weight pressing down on her chest, making it hard for her to breathe. She could not believe she had said those words to the man who had been nothing but kind to her.

"I'm so sorry Mr. Kapoor. Maine jo kuch bhi aapko kaha, I didn't mean any of it."

In his room, Ram was leaning by the window under the light of moon. The ache in his chest had only grown since his encounter with Priya earlier that evening. "I know Priya ki tumne aaj mujhe jo bhi kaha, woh sab bakwaas tha. Mujhe tumhare kahe ek bhi shabd ka bura nahi laga. Agar bura laga, toh isliye kyunki tumne woh shabd bole. Mujhse asal baat share karne ki jagah tumne woh sab baatein bol daali. Tumhein yeh jhoothi ladayi manzoor hai, magar tumhare mann mein kya chal rha hai yeh batana manzoor nahi. Iss baat se mujhe bohot takleef huyi hai Priya."

"Main kya karun Mr. Kapoor? Main aapse baat karna chahti hoon. Par yeh jo mujhe hota hai...jab aap aas paas hote hain...yeh kya hai? Mujhe kuch samajh nahi aa rha."

"Mujhse ek baar apne mann ki baat share kar ke toh dekho. Maine koi galti ki hai toh please batao mujhe. Gussa aa rha hai toh kar lo. Daanth bhi laga lo. Main sab sunn lunga. But please talk to me. Tumhare bina kuch bhi sahi nahi lagg rha hai."

"Gussa toh mujhe khud pe aa rha hai. Mera toh dimaag kharaab ho hi gaya hai, aur ab main aapka bhi kar rhi hoon. Bewajah maine aapko itna kuch keh diya." Priya shuddered as Ram's shocked face flashed before her eyes again.

Ram slowly walked towards the vase of sunflowers kept on his bedside table. They were the same ones which Priya had given to him in the party. Although over a week old, they were still quite fresh, all thanks to the Taruns of the house who had been directed to take extra care of them. "Dil dukh rha hai mera. Rona bhi aa rha hai." Ram spoke to the flowers, as if complaining to Priya. "Par main ro bhi nahi sakta. Tumne pinky promise karaya tha Dad ke birthday se pehle, yaad hai? Ki main kabhi akele nahi rounga. Akele main ro nahi sakta. Tumse baat kar ke dil halka main kar nahi sakta. Aakhir main karu toh kya karu?"

"Mujhe bhi kuch samajh nahi aa rha ki main kya karu."

"Pyaar se pehle dosti ki hai maine tumse Priya. Mujhse dur hoke tum sirf mera pyaar hi nahi, balki meri bohot khaas dost ko bhi mujhse dur kar rhi ho."