"5...
4...
3...
2...
1..." shouted my friend Gilbert above the huge swarm of people.
"Happy New Year everyone!" he shouted literally making me deaf as I was standing right beside him. He popped open the champagne bottle he was holding in his hands.
I couldn't help but smile at how good this felt. Well I wasn't really one to follow the 'New Year New me' bull, but at this moment I did feel different compared to all the other feelings I had been feeling over this past year.
Gil turned around to face me.
"May I have this dance my lady?" he said in an amused tone with a cheeky grin on his face. I couldn't disagree since I'd promised him I'd dance with him this one time I was drunk. Urgh... my stupid, drunken brain. I reluctantly nodded my head as he dragged me beside him. He then started crazy dancing to 'Uptown Funk'. I stood there with my arm crossed laughing along to him.
"Come on Kath, you have to dance!" He yelled to me. He then grabbed my hand and started twirling me around. People were starting to stare and some actually clapped and laughed at his stupidity. It wasn't long before what felt like the whole club were giving their attention to us. My cheeks immediately tinged pink as I looked around. I nudged him indicating I had enough and wanted him to stop. He ignored me and carried on making me look like a fool. I eventually gave in and started crazy dancing with him.
"This actually is so fun!" I shouted to him above all the noise, actually genuinely laughing after a long time. He was right. This did feel really good and made me forget about everything for a while.
The DJ then changed the song to 'Marry me' by Jason Derulo. I actually hadn't heard this song many times before. Thankfully, Gil stopped dancing like a maniac and actually slow danced with me. I wasn't very good at ballroom dancing but up till now I was doing fine. By now everyone else had gone back to dancing with their loved ones.
After the song had finished, I let go of Gil and went to go get myself a drink. I bought myself a margarita and took a seat on one of the bar stools. I looked around at all the people having fun and enjoying themselves. For once, I felt as though I fit in with them. But then the usual guilt took over me. I didn't deserve to be happy. I deserve to never even smile again. I couldn't even cry anymore. I felt too numb.
"Kathleeeeeeeeeeen!" my other friend Natalie screeched, cutting me off from my deep thoughts. I put on my usual fake smile. The real happiness didn't last long. It was too good to be true.
"Natalieeeee!" I said back to her in the similar tone she used. She looked tipsy and like she had had a few too many drinks. I zoned out as she started talking her usual drunken talk. Something about flying pandas or something like that. After a while, she went and started dancing with some random guy. All the guys had been hitting on her since she had walked in. She was naturally beautiful with her long dirty blonde hair and her big blue eyes. She was wearing a low cut red dress and she walked like she owned the place.
We were at a typical high school party thrown by one of the more popular guys. I didn't really know too many people as I had just started school here a few months ago. Nat was assigned to be my buddy and ensure that I was getting along well in school. I got to know her better after a bit. She and Gil were already friends and she introduced me to him. That's pretty much all the friends I had here.
I decided to go outside for some fresh air. I side stepped around all the people kissing and PDAing. I internally cringed as I wasn't exactly a big fan of PDA. Finally I got across the large room and stopped myself from punching the air in a 'go me' way. I studied myself in the patio doors.
