Unraveled

Scraping By

"I'm going to kill that son of a bitch!" Jacob hissed as I tried to pack snow against his bleeding nose. The world was spinning around me from whatever drug concoction I'd ingested.

I thought a few weeks had passed since I'd quit my job with Betsy. I didn't really know. The days and nights sort of blended together. Gillian was rifling through a dumpster in the corner. I didn't know what she was looking for. Even in my drug daze, I was concerned about the amount of blood gushing from Jacob's nose.

Jacob had tried to score for us. Our stash was getting low, and Deryk wasn't supplying for us anymore. The guy had ripped us off after taking our money, and when Jacob had tried to snatch it out of the guy's coat, the guy had turned around and just decked him. He took off before Gillian and I could fully process what had happened.

"Hold still!" I snapped as Jacob tried to get to his feet. "I don't know, man, you might need to go see someone for this."

"No!" Jacob said as he jerked away and sat up. His hand latched onto my wrist as his eyes rolled back in his head. He sat still for a moment before he spoke again. "It'll get better in a minute."

"I don't think it will, Jacob," I said as I sat back on the ground. "That's a lot of blood."

"They'll put me in fucking rehab or arrest me."

"Nah, man, I don't think so," I told him as I took my hat off my head and ran a hand through my grimy hair. "Long as you're not packing, you should be good."

"There's a church up the street!" Gillian exclaimed as she turned around, holding something I couldn't identify at that moment.

"Goddammit, no churches!" I shouted.

"I'm alright. I'm alright," Jacob said even though the blood was still gushing out of his nose. He looked like he was going to pass out or puke or both.

"Shut the fuck up. You are not." I rolled my eyes, staring up at the sky where the snow was falling. "There's a pharmacy across the street. I'll go see if they have anything." I pushed myself to my feet. "Gillian." She was poking around in a trashcan. "Gillian!"

She jumped and spun around to look at me. "What?"

"Watch him. Come get me if he passes out."

She nodded obediently and sat down next to Jacob.

I jammed my hat back onto my head and jogged, or at least I thought I did, across the street.

The bell rang above the pharmacy door when I pushed it open. I paused in the doorway to appreciate the heat before I moved toward the pharmacy counter in the back of the store. Why did they always have to be in the back?

In an aisle of overpriced school supplies, I counted the small amount of money I had in my wallet. If they couldn't give me something I could afford, I could at least buy a box of tissues.

I shoved my wallet back into my pocket and looked up in time to see a mother usher her child away. She looked back at me, her jaw set. I didn't need a mirror to know what she saw.

After a moment, I turned and continued to the counter. As I waited, I rocked back and forth on my heels, chewing on my thumbnail as I stared down at the ground.

I couldn't go into a church. It didn't matter that my dad wouldn't be at that particular one. There were too many memories. Too many emotions. I wouldn't have been able to do it and focus on helping Jacob. I had to help him. I couldn't let him bleed to death. He hadn't let Gillian die when she'd OD'd. I couldn't let him suffer now.