Unraveled

Payback

"You were high, Shawn, and it was dark. How can you be sure that it was him?" Will asked as I paced in the bathroom.

"Because when something like that happens to you, you know!" I snapped. "It's him. I know it is."

"Take a breath, Shawn," Will said on the other end of the phone. "What are you going to do? Confront him in the middle of the sermon? We both know that isn't going to solve anything. If you feel like you need to address it, do it away from the rest of the congregation."

"I don't think I can," I told him as I wrapped one arm around my stomach and leaned against the wall. "I might snap his neck."

"You can't run from it."

"I didn't run. I walked at a quick pace," I told him, my leg bouncing as I rested my head against the wall.

"Shawn."

"What?"

"Dealing with these types of things is part of the recovery. You know that. I know that. Everyone knows that. He's a demon. You need to squash it. You need to tell your dad what happened."

"Jesus," I said, closing my eyes. "I can't."

"You have to be honest, Shawn, or you're going to set yourself back. If you can't tell him right now, you need to tell someone else and take that person when you tell your dad."

I shook my head, opening my eyes and casting them towards the ceiling. "My dad won't understand."

"You don't know that."

"I know him!" I snapped. "He won't understand how desperate we were. It was not long after that I broke into this fucking church to steal money and then Jacob OD'd." I sunk down to the floor, angrily wiping the tears from my eyes. "Sometimes I think he left Jacob to die. I never should—"

"Shut the fuck up, Shawn," Will snapped. I swallowed back a sob. "That's the drugs talking, okay? Your dad is a decent human being. No decent human being would have sat back and let someone die on purpose, especially when their son is watching. Don't go down that rabbit hole."

I gripped my hair with one hand, staring down at the floor between my legs. "I don't know how much longer I can do this."

"For the rest of your life, Shawn, that's how long you can do this. You are strong," Will said sternly. "You just have to take it one step at a time."

"This isn't a step, Will, this is a fucking leap," I hissed as the door opened. I glanced up to see that it was just Jase.

"Shawn." I stood up. "Shawn!"

"What?"

"Breathe. Even through the phone, I can feel your breath on me."

"I have to go."

"No, Shawn, tell me what you're going to do."

"I'm going to do what's right."

"Shawn, that isn't—"

"Don't worry about it, Will."

"Shawn!"

"I'll be okay, Will. I'll call you later." I hung up before he could say anything else.

"What's going on?" Jase asked.