Unraveled

Old Habits

I rocked back on my heels after I knocked on the door. Jase had been going to come with me, but he'd had a tutoring session after school his parents refused to let him miss. It was my dad's day at the nursing home, although he'd insisted that he was able to miss it to come. Will had told me he'd come because he didn't want me to be alone, but it was really something that I needed to do on my own. He'd only agreed to stay away if I agreed to check in with him as soon as it was over.

I stepped forward to knock on the door again, watching as two middle-aged women jogged down the street behind me in the glass, just as the door opened. I stood with my fist in mid-air as Keys stood on the other side of the door in jeans and a t-shirt. I'd actually been hoping that he was still at work so I could just leave the letter I'd written and not have to face him.

"Shawn," he said with a soft smile.

"Mr. Keys."

He waved me off. "Call me Drew," he said as he opened the screen door. "Come in."

I hesitated for a moment before I stepped inside. He shut both doors behind us.

Drew's house wasn't overly decorated. There were no family portraits on the walls. A few books were piled on a stand in the foyer. A wooden staircase ran to a darkened upstairs. Through an archway, I could see a neat living room give way to an even neater kitchen.

"What can I do for you? I thought you were too busy to speak," Drew said as he crossed his arms over his chest.

I looked back at him. "Do you remember me?"

He tilted his head to the side. "Remember you?"

"Yeah."

He shook his head slowly. "Sorry...I don't."

I nodded, stuffing my hands into my pockets, looking down at my feet for a moment, and then back up at him. "Do you remember picking up a drug addict, fucking him, and then leaving him in the middle of nowhere at night? Paying him for the sex?"

Drew looked at me, his face almost impassive, but I'd learned from the few months I spent on the streets how to read people better. The slight widening of his eyes. The slightly more stiffened stance he was taking. Ready to be on the defense because he knew he'd been caught, just like a drug dealer who was only dealing in candy powder.

"That drug addict was you, I take it?" he asked finally.

"Yeah," I said, holding his gaze, "it was."

He nodded slowly. "And how do you feel about being here now, sober?"

"Pretty good."

"Would you feel great if you weren't sober?" he asked, arching an eyebrow. I eyed him, crossing my arms over my chest. He was playing at something, but I wasn't sure just what that was. "I'm sure you've got a lot of feelings going on right now. Wouldn't it be easier if you could turn those off?" He took a step toward me and I immediately stepped back but hit the wall. He kept stepping toward me. "Remember how good you felt? I could help you to feel that way again."

I swallowed hard as he stopped about a foot away from me. "I have six months of sobriety."

Drew nodded. "Okay."

He tried to step towards me again, but I pressed my hands against his chest. "I have six months of sobriety," I said more forcefully. "I'm going to graduate high school and move on with my life."