Marvel Women One Shots

What About Vegas?

Vegas round 3? And the finale- not sure how I feel about it, so let me know

Angsty fluff, of course

Word count: 5199

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How long can I stare at this ugly ass ceiling before I have to go downstairs? Can I get away with never seeing them again? Would they even notice?

Last night was a blur of yelling; confessing feelings, avoiding them, having too many I didn't know what to do with.

And at the end of it all? I'm still not even sure where I stand with y/n. In the midst of my little match with Yelena, I think she sort of shut down. And after that little tiff, the night gets a little fuzzy. Maybe it's my brains way of shutting out the horrible stuff- saving me from a heart crushing reality. Not something unfamiliar.

Thinking back.. the last thing I can even recall was y/n looking at Lena and I as if she were a thief caught stuffing the jewelry into their pockets.

What she said, or I said or Lena said, is.. gone.

One look around my room and the evidence brings a clear picture: more beer bottles than even Stevie boy could handle.

Great. So another one of those nights. Guess it was successful in making me forget. Some of it, anyway.

Not that I can completely ignore what happened last night. I'm sure I'll have to talk to them both in a more civil matter. Not that I could even fathom the idea of that yet.

Whatever happened.. it's irrelevant.

The fact of the matter is: y/n and Yelena are married.

I tried to tell myself it was some cruel joke the world was playing on me; that it would all blow over after a few days once they sobered up and realized what they'd actually done. It's an elaborate ruse: all I had to do was speak those magical words and, 'poof', everything would be fixed.

As much as I had hoped my admission would make    y/n finally see me..

Well, it didn't.

Y/n has always been a pretty loyal person, she may make some rash decisions, but she's always there for whatever comes of it after. She committed herself to Lena. Whether it was a drunken act or not, she wouldn't just leave.

It was once something I found so comforting, how solid she could be in her actions. It was something I admired her for. Hell, even played a part in my love for her.

Now it's biting me in the ass.

If only I had the damn sense to tell y/n before all of this. If I hadn't let all my insecurities derail me at every turn, talk me into believing she was better off as a friend, that she could never harbor those same feelings.. maybe she would be in my arms instead.

If, if, if...

They will never end because I will never get to know.

I'm at the point of acceptance. Or trying to be.

I have to paint my mask back on and support the two of them, as much as it will slowly drown any life I have left in me, I can't lose either of them.

At least y/n will be a part of the family, right?

No. No, definitely not. That's worse.

Ugh. I'm trying. I'm trying so hard and the 'rest of their lives' has only begun and mine is forever entwined in ruin. There's no way I could skip out on all of the family dinners, holidays..