Things I Can't

Chapter 24

Hi guys! I wanted to say a huge thank you to all my readers! Last night I realized I had more than 100 votes!! Thats amazing guys! Thank you! Also a huge thank you for 2.21k reads! When i first started this story, I didnt think a lot of people would read it, so it warms my heart to see the support i've gotten!!
Thanks for being spectacular! -Kiley Xx

Nialls pov

Numb, that's how I felt. I felt like a vital part of me, a part that had just been introduced only weeks before, was now gone; torn away, brutally by an inevitable force. I was no longer a happy, joyful boy. I would rather stare at my wall than engage in activities.

That was hard considering the daily interrogations. Each day, my mother physically dragged me out of my dimly lit room, sending me to talk, or not talk rather, to the detectives. They had become familiar faces to us four, but as the days dragged on, no news had been found. Not even the note, the horrid note that I'd found, could lead us to the answer.

The night was still fresh in my mind. How could I forget it? The more I remembered, the more suspicious I got. Obviously one of us had something to do with the murder, or at least that's what the detectives had claimed, but I just couldn't bring myself to believe it. Even so, I found myself drifting away from the other boys. Even Harry was beginning to look suspicious, though I knew deep inside that my best friend would never do such a thing.

It wasn't an issue to distance myself either. After Liam's funeral, we all parted ways as if the brunette boy was some sort of glue keeping us together. The last I'd heard, Louis wasn't even talking to Harry and Zayn only appeared for the daily investigations, disappearing into the shadows afterwards, not to be heard from.

So yes, though Louis and Zayn knew Liam longer, his death took it's toll on each of us, me in an incomprehensible way. No, I wasn't in love with Liam, but we had both agreed that we were each others person. The two of us had developed a bond, mostly behind the scenes, that was difficult to understand. He'd said he felt compelled to protect me, that I was the most important thing to him. I wondered if Liam unknowingly had feelings for me himself, but the idea hurt too much to consider. He couldn't very well act upon it now, could he?

Suddenly a shrill ringing startled me out of my thoughts. A familiar name flashed on the screen, Harry.

"Hi H." I sighed, pressing my cell phone to my ear. "What's up?"

"Niall, I know you're going through a lot--" I could hear shuffling on the other side before he continued, "But i'd really like some company right now. You don't have t--"

"Sure Hazza." I said as happily as I could. "I'll be over soon." I hung up the phone and shrugged on a jacket. It wasn't cold outside, but the rain had picked up. I could hear the thunder rumbling dully in the distance. The weather seemed to match my mood. I truthfully didn't want to see Harry, I didn't want to see anyone, but I knew that the younger boy got lonely easily. He seemed to always need someone by his side.

Maria let me in when I knocked on the wooden door, stating sadly that Harry was upstairs. I thanked her, offering a small smile, and walked to Harry's room.

Harry was sitting on his bed, glancing every so often at the window. I sighed, closing his door. The noise must've startled him, his head snapped in my direction and he gave a tiny wave. "Hi, H." I said, dropping myself onto his bed. "How have you been?"

"Niall" Harry shook his head, "I'm okay. It's you I'm worried about." One look at the boy and you could tell he clearly was not okay. Overall, he was a mess. His hair was greasy and wild as if it hadn't been washed in days, his clothes were old and stained, and he smelled, but it was his eyes that really gave him away. The were dull, lifeless, as if someone had intentionally taken away their usual sparkle. Instead of a vibrant green, they resembled a bland grey, and yet he was more concerned about me than himself.

"Harry," I said, scooting closer to him, "You can tell me what's wrong. No, I'm not completely fine at the moment, but I want to be here for you this time. What's bothering you?" Harry hesitated, suddenly interested in the pattern on his sheets.

"Everything!" He finally exclaimed, startling me. "Everything is wrong! Louis' best friend was killed, murdered, and we're being interrogated every week for a crime we didn't commit, then none of us are talking anymore and even you and I are being awkward! Oh, and did I mention that I can't seem to keep a relationship? My 'boyfriend' doesn't listen to a word I have to say, even though I might be right but he's too far up Tye's ass to notice!" He bursted into tears, bringing his white pillow to his face. "I can't do this anymore!"

"Can't do what Harry?" I asked quietly.

"Be without him. I've tried to hate him, but I can't. I just can't and it's infuriating. He's a dick, an utter dick. He's stubborn, he's temperamental, he's cocky, but I can't live without him. Why can't I Niall?" Harry cried, desperate for an answer. I bit my lip, searching his wet eyes. I knew the answer. I knew because I'd experienced it myself before. Unfortunately, I would never get to act on it, but Harry would.

"You love him." I stated, all signs of falseness gone. Harry froze, unable to move a muscle. I could almost see the gears turn in his head as he pondered my assumption.

It wasn't an assumption on my part, I was positive that Harry was in love with the brunette boy. You could tell by the way they looked at each other, full of fondness and trust. I would oftentimes find Harry watching Lou with a small smile on his face, as if the older boy's actions intrigued him. It was obvious with everything they did, the small touches, the jealous moments, the smiles, it was all there, displayed for everyone to see.

"You're right." Harry whispered, his mouth falling open. "I do. I love Louis Tomlinson."

"How do you feel mate?" I asked, not able to read his emotions as I usually was. He slowly turned towards me, still a bit shakey.

"I don't know-- I feel stupid."

"Stupid?" I looked at him in confusion. Of all the possible answers, he chose stupid. "Why?"

"Because I fell in love with someone that keeps hurting me."

"Okay, Harry you've never complained about Louis hurting you before. Why now? Why all of a sudden?" I asked.

"I never realised it before." He shrugged, then sighed, "honestly that's just an excuse. I'm scared to be in love with him because--well he's Louis Tomlinson! He's hot, he's popular in his school, but then there's me! I feel like I'm holding him back! Plus he's pissed at me! I wouldn't doubt it if he wanted to break up! Oh my god..what if he breaks up with me Niall!?"

"Harry, H" I said, grabbing his arm. "Calm down. Louis' not going to break up with you."

"How do you know?" He demanded, wiping away a stray tear.

"Because I've seen the way he looks at you. It's not the way you'd look at someone you're planning to break up with; quite the opposite actually." I explained, handing him a tissue.

"A-are you sure?" He sniffeled, running a hand through his knotted hair.

"A hundred percent."

"I just want to hold him." Harry's voice cracked. I sensed a new river of tears coming, so I quicky came up with a diversion.

"And you will." I promised, knowing that the two couldn't stay apart for too long. "But first let's get you cleaned up. Why don't you go shower?"

"I smell pretty bad don't I?" Harry said, smiling a bit. I mentally Patted myself on the back and nodded.

"Yeah mate, you kinda do." He chuckled, a sad chuckle but it was a chuckle nonetheless, and left to head to the bathroom.

"Thank you, by the way Niall." He said, peeking his head back in the room.

"It's no trouble at all Harry." I promised, finding myself feeling better just from talking to the boy. I guess friends really were the best medicine. Now I just needed to find a way to get Louis and Harry together. The question still stood, how long could they stay apart before one of them broke?