This Walk of Life

Chapter 11: Not Anymore Part 1

3rd Person POV

"Sir, I don't understand" Ethan said to Andreas who stood before him, the C-17 bound for Iraq behind him with soldiers loading on board. "You're not stable Ethan, I heard about your incident involving a reporter and a camera" Ethans heart sunk, did someone take a video of the incident and post it online.

"Who told you this?" Ethan asked agitated, "Your girlfriend, Angie I think her name was, reached out to me and told me everything... you're not going to Iraq Ethan; you're staying here am I clear?" Andreas asked staring into my soul, "Yes sir" I forced myself to say aloud. Without another word, Andreas spun on his heels and walked to the plane. Ethan stood there awkwardly, everyone else was boarding the aircraft besides him who stood frozen, forcing himself to turn around Ethan sped walked off the airfield and towards his parked car. Getting inside, Ethan took a sharp inhale and calmed himself down at first, he was pissed at Angie, but he could not be mad at her, she was just looking out for him like any other significant other would. The engine of his mustang roared to life and Ethan began the long trip home.

Pulling back into his apartment parking lot, Ethan noticed Angie's car in the parking lot and took note that she was in his apartment already. Swinging his large backpack over his shoulders, Ethan went up the elevator and to his apartment door where upon opening it, he saw Angie sitting on the couch waiting for him.

Standing up quickly Angie spoke first, "I'm sorry Ethan but you understand why I did what I did" she spoke fast almost stumbling over her words. "It's okay you're just looking out for me, if you were in my boots, I would've done the same for you" Ethan pulled his girlfriend into a tight hug and kissed her forehead. "Figure I should Nick know I'm staying; I'm going to go visit him want to tag along" Ethan said placing my backpack on the side of the couch, "Of course, I'd like to see how Elvis is doing" Angie's comment on Nick made him laugh. Off they went towards Nicks residence passing through the all too familiar town and then into the quiet suburbs where Nick lived. Stopping in front of his house, they noticed how clean and maintained Nicks house looked, the lawn freshly cut, the exterior was clean and well taken care of much to our liking.

Stepping out the car, the couple knocked on Nicks door and swiftly the door opened to reveal a shocking sight, Nick was smiling, smiling brighter than they have ever seen him in years. It was such a surprise Ethan and Angie were speechless and taken aback.

"Hi guys!" the enthusiasm in his voice was a bit much for the two

"Uh... hey buddy, were just seeing how you're doing?" Ethan half told and asked the firefighter who beamed even brighter with happiness

"I'm great, you guys should come in" Nick invited the two inside who reluctantly entered, hesitantly the two entered the house and the surprises just kept coming. His house was warm, the lights were on, and it was all cleaned up making his once cold and dark home warm and lovely.

Ethan and Angie sat on their couch and saw Nick was watching the recent Baz Luhrmann Elvis movie on the TV. Nick plopped down on an armchair besides the couch and smiled at us, seeing him better I realized how hard he was faking it, faking being happy for as long as I knew Nick I could tell when he was faking his emotions, but this was new and off putting to them.

"You seem... very happy today?" Angie said questioningly still unsure about Nicks new attitude, "I'm feeling great, no supplement or liquid to make me happy" Ethan eyed Nick, he was telling thr truth about not drinking or taking drugs, but something was making his forcibly happy. "I am naturally happy, I had an actual conversation with Ella for the first time in years, I played with my kids under the summer sun, and I'm feeling good" it came as a shock to Ethan that he had an actual conversation with Ella again, something was wrong, but Ethan decided he'll ask Nick later but until then he'll enjoy his time with him.

For the next few hours, Nick, Ethan, and Angie sat around and had fun, watching a movie or two, Ethan going on a rant about historical accuracy in one of them, Nick cooked them dinner and they sat together at his table and ate. To Nick he imagined his family sitting at the table again, but those days were over, and he'll enjoy the little time he has left with Angie and Ethan tonight.

"Wait?" Nick said halfway through eating, his fork clanking against the plate, "Ethan aren't you supposed to be in Iraq right now?" Nick asked curiously, Ethan felt an uncomfortable tightening in his chest, a warning sign of a panic attack, but Angie's prescence was enough to help.

"Oh yeah... uh, I'm not in the best mental state to go back you know" Ethans explanation caused an image to flash before Nicks eyes of him, putting his fork through Ethans head but a simple blink eroded it away. "I mean that's good, you're gonna get some help I assume right before you reenter service" Nick said unsure of his response, but Ethan nodded, "Yep, Angie here is the one who warned my sergeant of my health, so I thank her a lot" Ethan placed his hand atop Angie's the gesture making Nick feel uncomfortable.

After that, they continued to talk and talk until it was getting late for Angie and Ethan and Nick had to be up early tomorrow for work. Nick said his goodbyes to the pair as they left and once back in the car, Ethan had to say something to Angie.

"He's faking it" was all Ethan simply said, "It was off, I'm not used to seeing him so happy, all I've ever known was sad and gloomy Nick" Angie said verbally expressing her discomfort about the whole situation. "I'll ask him about it tomorrow and if somethings up I'm dragging him to a therapist myself" Ethan stated before starting the engine and driving off.

Unbeknownst to them, Nick was watching them from the dark windows of his house. After they drove off, Nick strode through the hallway and into his bedroom where he relaxed and stared into the empty darkness of his bedroom. Nick was making a massive offesnive against his inner demons, pushing them back and builing a dam to contain it all long enough for the sun to shine once again. Nick was doing all this because even though he was gonna kill himself, he wanted to enjoy his last remaining days on this Earth with a smile.