The encounter of a lifetime - Charles Lerclerc

Chapter 58

*Charles POV*

Today is the first time I'm going back to the paddocks. But this time it will be as a guest. I am torn between the joy of finding this atmosphere and these places, and the frustration of not being able to drive. Especially since it's only been a month since I had my accident, which means that it's not for the resumption of f1 right away.

Stop talking, today is the Chinese Grand Prix in Shanghai. And I'm here to support my buddies. And also because according to my team it's important that I come and show myself in public to show that I'm fine. Even if deep down everyone knows and sees that I'm not well.

I put on, as requested by my team, the Scuderia polo shirt with jeans, I put on my cap which bears the number 16 and I go to wait for Emma near the door of our room.

Charles: Emma, are you ready soon? We must go.
Emma: Yes yes I'm coming my heart.

She arrives a few minutes later wearing a magnificent little dress that stops above her knees, with which she has put on heeled boots and a 90s style formula jacket in Ferrari colors of course.

Charles: Sweetheart you look beautiful, but you know we're just going to a grand prix not a fashion show. I say laughing.

She rolls her eyes and still laughs at my joke. She grabs her bag and we head to our car.

Arrived on the circuit a crowd comes to gather around us. I barely have time to get out of the car when journalists and photographers jump on me.

Reporter 1: So Charles how are you?
Journalist 2: Tell us about your accident, how did you feel?
Journalist 3: Aren't you afraid that the driver replacing you will take your place for next season?
Journalist 4: Will you be able to return to Formula 1 one day?

My breath quickens and my heart rate quickens. I need to get out of here. Fortunately members of the Ferrari staff arrive at this time and pull me out of the crowd.

Arrived in the Ferrari building, I catch my breath. But it's only for a short time because everyone comes to me to talk to me, congratulate me, give me courage or whatever. I know it comes from a good feeling, but it makes me feel bad. These times are really complicated for me, and having all these questions makes me realize that my fears are well founded. A professional athlete is always in danger when he hurts himself and that is what is happening. I could lose my place, be replaced, put in a less efficient stable, or even I could never recover and have to stop the sport. I am so afraid of having to face these questions that finding myself in front of all these people is a real torture.

I speak quickly with my team members and quickly head upstairs to my pilot's room. Except that arriving in front of the door I realize that it is no longer my name which is registered there, but that of my replacement.

So I go to the bathroom in a rage.

Emma: Charles are you okay?
Charles: Uh yes, I... I'll be back... wait for me there.

When I arrive I sit on a closed toilet seat and I cry. I hate crying in public. Not because I think it's weak, because for me a man has just as much right to express these emotions as a woman, but because I don't want to show my weaknesses at work and to the people who work with me. .

The door opens, so I automatically stop crying. But I realize that it was Emma who followed me. She saw that I was bad and she didn't want to leave me alone. This girl is truly an angel.

After a moment of comfort thanks to my darling, I leave the toilets and finally leave the Ferrari building to go see my friends. I still want to wish them good luck before the start of the race. And I know that I will also have to go through the interview box, I have no choice, it's part of my job.

I meet Daniel, Pierre, Lando, George, Alex and of course my teammate Carlos. I wish them all a good race and I also talk a little with them. They are all really adorable with me. I think they all told me at least a thousand times that if they ever had passes for Emma and me to come and see the races I couldn't participate in. But I don't think I want to see these races... I don't know yet.

I then go to the interview because I tell myself that at least it is done and that I will be able to enjoy the race quietly without constantly thinking about it.

I then join Emma who had stayed with other pilot girlfriends while waiting for me. We're going to watch the race from my box, even if it's not me who's going to get in the car. Honestly, it hurts me to be so close to my car, my world and to be prohibited from living my passion. But I know that if I screw up I may never be able to drive again. So I take it upon myself. But I admit that at the time I would have liked to be somewhere else. In the paddocks or even in the tribune. But Ferrari kind of "forced" me to come into the pits. And I know deep down that from the point of view of my image and that of the team, it's the best thing to do. But it's very hard mentally.

Emma comes to give me a hug from behind. It's impressive how she understands me without me saying a word. She is always there for me, to reassure me, and to support me. I don't know what I would do without her. I love her so much. She lays her head on my shoulder and takes my hand as the starting line lights come on.

3...2...1...GOOOO!

*****