The encounter of a lifetime - Charles Lerclerc

Chapter 80

⚠️ TW: Eating Disorders

*2 weeks eclipse*

The past few weeks have been... complicated. I had a lot of appointments and I was very busy. And Charles has also been very, very busy. He had promised to write to me, to send me photos etc. He did not do anything. He didn't have time. It's been almost a week since we last talked to each other for more than 30 seconds a day. This situation doesn't seem to bother him too much, but it bothers me a lot. But in 2 days it's Charles' birthday and he's going back to Monaco to celebrate with his family and friends, so we'll meet again. Just hold on for a few more days.

For my part, I have almost reached the weight I need. I have 2 small kilos left to lose. I am very happy, and my shoots went well. My agency is very happy to see that I have taken their weight loss request to heart and that I really listen to what they tell me. They know I'm not here for fun.

This weekend I'm in Copenhagen for a shoot. I arrived at the hotel at the end of the evening and I have to do the shoot tomorrow. As usual, I don't eat anything the day before a shoot to ensure that my stomach is as flat as possible. And it's the same for the morning before.

I find myself at the location of the shoot. It's a very nice outdoor place, surrounded by buildings of all different colors. I position myself to start these photos. Then I change my outfit before getting back into my place. Once I raise my head to stare at the camera I realize that my head is spinning. I start to see stars and suddenly, total darkness.

***

I have a huge headache. I don't understand what happened or where I am. When I have difficulty opening my eyelids I realize that I am in the hospital. I realize that Charles is sitting at the other end of my room.

Emma: What are you doing here?
Charles: I'm your emergency number.
Emma: Emergency? What happened ?
Charles: Well you tell me!
Emma: I don't understand.

He approaches me and presses his hands on his mattress to bring his face closer to mine.

Charles: What the fuck is this bullshit Emma ?!

I look at him confused. I don't know what happened.

Charles: I was training when I received a call telling me that you were unwell and that you must be transferred to the hospital due to malnutrition. They had to hook you up to a fucking machine to make you eat Emma! A machine!

I understand that they put me a probe to force me to eat. I panic and start trying to pull it off. Charles grabs my wrists violently.

Charles: Damn, are you crazy? I just explained to you that they had to hospitalize you for malnutrition and you want to pull out your catheter.
Emma: I can't gain weight.
Charles: You're perfect Emma. When I left you 2 weeks ago it was okay what happened? You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, stop hurting yourself.
Emma: Damn but Charles stop. I have to lose weight I have no choice.
Charles: How come you have no choice?
Emma: If I want to be able to follow my dream I have to lose weight!
Charles: Wait, are you telling me you're doing all this to be a model? You are joking!
Emma: Why don't I have the right to do that but you can follow a crazy diet for your formula 1?
Charles: But because I eat Emma. I watch what I eat but I have all the nutrients I need. Look at you. I don't even dare ask you since when you haven't eaten. Do you want to die or what?

Tears rise. He can't understand what's going on. He acts selfish and wants to put my dream aside.

Seeing that I don't want to talk to him, he calls a nurse and goes to have a coffee while she explains to me what is going to happen. I will be able to leave the hospital today but I have to be careful to eat well and that it does not happen again.

***

We return to Monaco with Charles. We don't speak a single word the whole way. I've never seen him so pissed off. Arrived at home he puts my bag in our room and keeps his in his hands.

Charles: You can take the large bedroom. I would sleep in the guest room for a while.
Emma: You don't want to talk to me anymore?
Charles: I'm just lost, I don't know how to help you, I don't know how to deal with the fact that you've been lying to me for weeks and that you preferred to put your life in danger rather than tell me about it. In short, I need some alone time.

He grabs his bag and goes to the other bedroom of the apartment. I lay on our bed and cry. I don't know how I got there. It all happened very quickly. But the most worrying thing is that I don't feel like quitting despite what Charles told me, or the fact that I was taken to the hospital. Accepting this offer will really totally change my life...

*****