Friendly Dating - Kira

Chapter 27 - Public Displays of Non-Affection

"Where are you going?"

I thought that handing Ethan the small cooler bag I brought the second we left class for break time would fulfil my girlfriend duties for now.

I have, however, only taken a couple of steps towards the big oak tree - where I often spend break time reading when Delia is not around - when the boyfriend in this equation stops me from leaving. I'm startled when he suddenly grabs my arm, anchoring me mid-step, forcing me to reluctantly lower the foot I was going to take another step with.

"Delia has hockey practice," I explain, turning around and looking up into his blue eyes. "I'm going to relax and read my book." I wave the novel in the air to add some visual aid to my words in case Ethan doesn't understand what reading a book means.

Delia often has hockey practice during break time or gym periods because the teacher coaching their team cannot always stay after school. She does at least end the practice before the break is over to allow them a few minutes to gobble their food. It still doesn't seem fair to deprive them of their relaxation time. Well, at least Dell gets to do what she wants after school then.

"You're not going to come sit with me?" Ethan asks, and he really seems to be sad about that. Why would he be? He hangs out with an entire crowd of people the size of the population of a small country, and most of them are his close friends. He certainly won't be lonely. "Come," he coaxes, smiling at me. "You can read there too."

Reading in company seems like a rude thing to do.

"Burlap is almost always reading," he points out, answering my unvoiced concern. "And Lisa and Joanie act as though they're in a hair salon. Nobody cares. It's about being together, not about what any of us are doing while we're together."

I turn to look at where his friends are already gathering on the shady terraces near the rugby field and swallow nervously. I am not good with large gatherings. I prefer humans in small, digestible portions. I barely know half of those people. Nothing about this is appealing to me, and I suppose my face is telling Ethan exactly that because he sighs and pats me on the head.

"Okay, I get it. You want to be alone," he smiles when I look at him again. "I'll see you later then. Thanks for lunch."

I watch him stroll away from me, and a strange sensation very close to panic seizes my heart in a vice-like grip. I've felt this before when he was walking away from me after that rugby match. Ethan is one of the most self-sufficient people that I know. He never seems to really need anything or anybody. He makes do, he makes plans, he adjusts, and if he can't do any of those, he conquers. There is absolutely nothing lost or vulnerable about him, and yet, looking at him walking away from me, I'm caught in the grip of overwhelming sadness... again!

Spurring myself into action, I jog to catch up with him, slipping my hand into his.

"I've changed my mind," I smile when he looks down at me, surprised and also a little baffled. I wrap my free arm around his and lean my head against his bicep. What am I doing?! Seriously, this body I woke up trapped in is doing whatever it wants to do! "Besides, my lunch is in there too..."

When we reach his friends, Ethan makes himself comfortable, sitting down against the base of a gnarly old tree. He pats the ground between his pulled-up knees when I remain standing, still highly uncertain of my welcome and not sure what I should do with myself. It is this bewilderment, combined with the fact that I no longer have any say about how my body should behave, that causes me to docilely sit down, with my back resting against his stomach.

Oh, my soul! This is so not on!

I'm turning into one of those girls who drape themselves over their boyfriends every chance they get! Carefully crossing my legs, making certain that my skirt covers everything I need to have covered, I sit up with my back ramrod straight and cautiously steal glances at the people around us.