After Us

Chapter 1 : Decisions

The trip from the port to Ko Pha Ngan was exactly how Tharn remembered it.

The under an hour boat ride that brought more memories than he was ready for, the familiar sight of a crowd of tourists chattering around in the background as they excitedly looked forward to experience the island for the first time. The overwhelming feeling of being surrounded by everything that reminded him of the person who'd been the sole reason he made the trip here when he'd swore he would never step foot on this island ever again.

The first and last time he'd been here was three years ago, when Type went back to his parents' home for a vacation and Tharn had tagged along to meet Type's folks in person (and almost regretting it when his wish had been granted).

A year after that, they graduated, Type and him. A few months later, he was accepted at the Manhattan School of Music in New York where he'd planned to take his Master's Degree, doing all he could to convince Type to go with him.

And Type did.

He'd been completely ecstatic, planning everything out. Imagining his and Type's future together, just the two of them.

But it wasn't meant to be because just a month after all of that, Type left him.

The memory ached the closer he was at his destination, making him wonder whether his decision to come here was a mistake. It could be, given the fact that he couldn't sit still and he was having troubles focusing as it was, anticipating and equal-parts dreading seeing the face of the man who'd broken his heart and left him without saying anything.

It had been close to two years since, but he could still remember that day as if it only happened yesterday. The shock of finding Type gone a week before their scheduled trip to the US.

He had planned it down to the T - the apartment they would be staying in, the part time jobs he would apply to just in case. He had even gotten his parents' approval (despite the fact that he didn't need to - his parents had been the most supportive of his choices and his decisions, and this time wasn't an exception) Type's too, even though the Phawattakun patriarch in particular didn't completely agree.

Everything was settled, or so he'd thought.

He obviously didn't count on Type backing out on him at the last minute, or doing it without even breathing a word about it. Everything happened so abruptly that he honestly didn't see it coming, waking up in bed that morning, alone, cold and missing the warmth he'd gotten used to because Type wasn't there anymore.

The only thing Type left him was a letter, telling him to take care of himself, to just accept him leaving because this was what Type wanted. There was no explanation, no nothing, just a confusing apology and Type's wishes for Tharn to go ahead with the plan alone.

Tharn had no idea what went wrong, what had happened, because he honestly didn't have the slightest clue. He'd gone around the same day finding answers, going places he thought he might find Type: his friends' homes, his Aunt's, even going as far as begging his brother to go to Pha Ngan just to check if Type had gone there to hide.

But Type was not there. He was nowhere to be found.

He'd spent the next few days literally drinking himself to death, wondering where Type had gone and why he left. The apartment felt so huge that he had decided to go home to his parents house to think, considering so many things at once and hating the circumstances that brought him to that point.

It honestly felt worse than the first time Type had broken up with him, much, much worse really, because back then, Type had his reasons for doing it, even though Tharn had insisted the other man didn't have to go to such lengths, breaking both their hearts and hurting them in the process just to expose a friend.