After Us

Chapter 17 : Forgiveness

He pulled away to breathe, but kept his hands where they were, settled on either side of Tharn's neck to keep him in place. Tharn remained quiet, saved from the sounds he was trying not to make, but the way the other man's fingers gripped the soft skin of Type's hips told him so much more than words ever could.

The silence was one thing he wasn't accustomed with. Tharn liked to talk even in the most inappropriate moments, spouting random things in between kissing and driving him crazy with want. It didn't matter whether Tharn was inside him or was in the middle of doing the deed either - he'd learned that ignoring Tharn worked better than telling him to shut his mouth - but somehow, this was different.

He wondered if he should ask Tharn what was wrong, but knew that he couldn't. There were things he was keeping to himself too, and much as he wanted to voice them out instead of hiding them, he couldn't.

He wished he could, of course, of course. Keeping all of these to himself was torture enough, and he knew it wasn't going to get better anytime soon. Pretending might work better if it wasn't slowly killing him, and masking the misery with lies and half-smiles wasn't helping either.

Tharn pushed his hips up from the mattress and the sudden movement tore a noise from deep in his throat, arching back into Tharn so swiftly he barely had time to stop himself until he was already there. His hands quickly made their way to Tharn's shoulders to steady himself, the pressure around his middle making it even more difficult to think past the need throbbing that was threatening to tear him into pieces.

"You're holding back on me, Type. Why?" Tharn asked so suddenly the question left him reeling. Tharn's fingers drifted from the small of his back to his hips, drawing figures on his skin like he couldn't help it. It was a habit Tharn picked up just to annoy him, but he couldn't find it in him to feel that way now that he was trying to document every touch hoping he could remember everything.

He wished he didn't have to, he wished there was some other way to go about it without giving this up, without hurting Tharn, but he knew he couldn't be too selfish.

His mouth curved with forced amusement as he pinched Tharn's skin in retaliation, before dragging his hands from Tharn's elbows to his shoulders for leverage.

"You can't always expect me to give in to you, Tharn," he quipped, but he knew he sounded as desperate as he felt. "Come on, quit stalling and get on with it. I want to, ah, cum already."

Tharn gave him a look. "Huh. You're being weird, Type. What's wrong? Is there something you're not telling me?"

He groaned at that and tried his best to pull Tharn's attention away from whatever it was he was seeing on Type's face and into the very physical present, rolling his hips up to remind Tharn of exactly that.

"Fuck, Tharn, can you just...please just shut up and fuck me. Is that too much to ask?" he groaned.

Tharn bristled but it was frustrated at best. "And now you're trying to divert my attention. Really, Type, what's up?"

God help him, he was trying, he really was. He swallowed hard and hoped he didn't look as helpless as he felt as he leaned forward to mash their mouths together. This was a distraction, of course, but Tharn wouldn't ever catch him admitting it.

"And you're trying to hold my orgasm off. Please stop. No, forget I said that. Please continue."

"Type -"

"I want to cum, Tharn," he whined, licking his dry lips and then doing the same to Tharn's own. The action proved to be useful, given the way Tharn was trying to eat his mouth in abandon. He pulled up, feeling his inner muscles contracting around Tharn's dick. Tharn groaned into his mouth, and the sound of it would have been enough to bring him to his knees if he was standing.