After Us

Bonus Chapter One : Here with me

Tharn felt like crying all over again.

Waking up in bed with Type, tangled together in a mess of limbs and the remnants of their lovemaking drying on their skin made it all the more real. He honestly couldn't tell when he'd fallen asleep or how long - it didn't matter now, though, so long as they were here together - but it could have been at least a few hours given how rested he felt despite taking half of Type's body weight on him as they slept.

He would have considered pulling away to shower, but he hadn't the heart to move Type and woke him in the process. Apart from that, he really couldn't bring himself to turn away now, when he could simply lie there and watch Type sleep.

The tremble in his heart returned like a reminder of what he'd been missing for years on end, the joy of having Type near and knowing he wasn't going anywhere. It felt like a miracle to have him here, now, when he honestly didn't think it would ever be possible again.

His other arm was numb but he paid no mind to it, turning softly so he was properly on his side to watch Type closely, his heart clenching painfully in a way that made his eyes sting. This - This was exactly what had been missing in his life before, the contentment of just watching the love of his life sleep next to him knowing the other man knew he was safe in his arms. He'd been intimate with other men before, Aaron being the last before he'd decided he needed closure and went back to Thailand to find Type, but no one had ever come close to what he felt and would always feel when he was with Type.

His fingers reached up before he could stop it, thumbing the crease on Type's forehead the same way he'd done so many times in the past, tentative at first until he was confident enough to continue. The way Type's expression softened took him back to that time at the dormitory, when he and Type had barely met, and he'd been crushing on him like the fool he was. He smiled at the memory of it, of how young Type looked then compared to the Type he was holding in his arms right now. How fierce and stubborn, and so damn beautiful he ached just looking at Type.

His thumb drifted down the slope of Type's nose, then up again to his brows, the underside of his eyes, then his cheeks. The luxury of being able to do this again made the knot in his chest tight, and before he realized it, he was openly crying, again. But he knew that this time, it was for a completely different reason as he struggled to keep quiet, biting his lips and hoping Type wouldn't see him breaking down like this again just because he couldn't help it.

"I love you so much, Type," he breathed, softly, into the space between their faces and felt the rush of emotion washing over him at the admission, knowing for certain he wouldn't ever get tired of repeating it for Type to hear. He might not hear it now, but it didn't matter; he would say it whenever he felt like it and no one could stop him.

"Please don't tell me you're being emotional on your own again, Tharn." Type's voice was thick with sleep and his eyelashes slowly fluttered open to reveal the brown of his eyes. He stared and stared, drinking in the sight of Type here, his hair a ruffled mess and his eyes blurry with sleep. He couldn't help the way his hand had reached out to touch, reveling on the feel of Type's eyelashes fluttering beneath his hand. It was both a luxury and a gift, and a part of him wondered if he even deserved this.

If he even deserved Type.

He cupped Type's cheek and leaned in closer to breathe him in. "I'm sorry I just...I can't help it. You're here and it still feels surreal, all of it." he said, hoping and equal-parts wondering if what he was saying made sense.

Type chuckled as if he honestly couldn't decide whether to ignore him or be amused by him, but the way he scooted closer meant he was indulging him for now. When he looked again, Type had his eyes open, so beautiful even in the semi-darkness, and the other man's hands found their way to Tharn's face to hold him in place.