The first week of camp was fine. Caston wouldn't journal about it or recall it on his deathbed. He would definitely prefer it over a session with Miss Jameson, though. The kids are kind of annoying, but at least they don't make him talk about his feelings.
Malachi was having sex with him again, so he was finding it easier to tolerate most things. Especially Aaron, who only seemed to grown fonder of Caston every day.
It was finally Saturday. Malachi had been hyping it up all week because apparently they're having a bonfire. Caston personally was looking forward to the fire. The heat, the smoke, the possibility of a child getting hurt.
Their first activity was another head to head against one of the other cabins. This time it was Hill House vs River House; the youngest kids at camp.
Caston has no idea what they're going to be doing, but he's only been awake for a few minutes and he hasn't even processed the fact that he woke up to Malachi on top of him. His hands were in Malachi's hair and the blond boy's mouth was currently kissing down his stomach, licking and biting his skin along the way.
The sun had just started to rise and a sliver of light was now shining through Malachi's messy hair.
"Mal.." Caston breathed.
Malachi hummed, making Caston groan. He took a shaky breath. "What- what if the kids wake up?"
Malachi pulled off and kissed his way back up to Caston's neck. "They won't. It's like five thirty. We're good."
"You said that yesterday."
"Since when do you care about being walked in on?" Malachi sighed, lifting himself up so his face was hovering above Caston's.
"Since it would be children. Do you want the kids we have to spend the next week with to walk in and see my dick down your throat? Do you want to see that memory in their eyes?"
"What's with you and that? You said the same thing about Nicolas." Malachi rolled his eyes.
"Hey, yeah..where the fuck is he? You literally brought him so you wouldn't like not be with him or whatever. I haven't seen him since our first day."
"He's been staying with the girls in Lake House. They saw him and got all excited and jokingly asked to keep him. They have a bigger cabin and you would probably kill him if he stayed here, so I figured it was a better fit. I go visit him every day."
"Oh. Okay. You can go back to sucking my dick now."
Malachi laughed and shook his head, "I love you." He widened his eyes and looked down at Caston, who was unphased. "I- not like..I didn't mean to..I'm- I meant like..I'm not like in..huh..."
"Okay? You can suck my dick now."
"You're psychotic."
"Can we just fuck please?"
"Absolutely."
Caston felt weird. It was his head. Or his stomach. Or it was all of the bug bites covering his skin. Maybe all of the above. He was currently watching a bunch of children run through a similar (but clearly more simplistic) obstacle course that he and the other house counselors ran on the 2nd day.
They were screaming and laughing and it felt like the sun was jabbing his eyeballs with a very sharp stick. Malachi, being the gentle person that he is, was encouraging the kids and cheering them on. He had also managed to convince Caston to wear shorts instead of jeans, repeatedly saying "Cas, it's supposed to be in the nineties."
So here he was on the hottest day of camp yet, sweating his ass of and being forced to stare at children running and jumping. He was just waiting for one of them to trip, but they all seemed surprisingly agile.
"Cas, are you not hot in that?" Malachi asked, looking down at Caston's jumper.
"Yeah."
"Then..why don't you take it off?"
"In front of the children? How scandalous." Caston smirked.
Malachi rolled his eyes and went back to focusing on the kids just as two of them ran up to him. Despite his human desire to do the exact opposite of what Malachi said, he was very hot. He ended up removing his sweater and taking his shirt off half way, leaving it around his shoulders.
"We won!" Tyrell ran up a few minutes later, accepting a double high five from Malachi.
"First and second place!" Andrew added breathlessly.
"You guys totally creamed those bitches!" Carter said from his place on the ground.
"Carter, you can't call them that." Malachi sighed.
"So Caston can call us fuckwads, ass goblins, cum rags, shit wipes, overgrown fetus footballs, failed abortions, and more, but I can't call our losing opponents bitches?" Carter said, tilting his head and squinting at the sun.
"I actually beg Caston to not swear at or around you, but he won't listen." Malachi said, placing his hands on his hips.
"What can I say? I'm above authority." Caston shrugged. "So, are we done here?"
"We have to wait for the other groups, Cas. Stop being so damn impatient."
Caston gasped. "You swore!"
"You and Carter have already said every other swear word under the sun, so what's one more?"
Caston smiled proudly and high fived Carter, whose face held a similar expression.
After the rest of the kids made their way through the obstacle course, everyone headed to the dining hall for lunch.
Caston was regretting his choice to wear shorts when the cold bench touched his skin. The chatter in the room seemed so much louder than normal. Caston's ears were starting to ring. He could hear Malachi's voice across from him. He saw the boy in his peripheral, but for some reason his eyes wouldn't move from their place on the table.
There was so much going on. It was impossible to focus on one thing at a time. He could feel Aaron next to him. He could hear everyone's utensils clanking against the plastic trays. He could feel his feet accidentally hitting Malachi's. He felt stuck.
There was a swift motion beside him and then his lap was wet. The sudden cold feeling snapped him out of his unfocused stare and made him stand up.
"I'm sorry Mr. Caston!" Aaron said from beside him.
Caston looked down and saw his legs and the floor below him covered in chocolate milk.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" He huffed, flicking his eyes from the mess to Aaron.
"I'm really sorry.." Aaron frowned.
Caston exhaled sharply, grabbed his sweater, that was also covered in milk, from the bench and left the dining hall. He muttered every swear word he could think of as the gravel crunched beneath his shoes.
Caston always thought he was a calm, chill person. That nothing could get to him and that no matter what someone did or said, it would just slide off of his back. But the last week has made him think that maybe he was wrong.
Sharing space with fifteen children has been a nightmare. Leaving his room to a fucking crowd of them is almost worse. He feels like he hasn't been able to relax since he got here. His brain won't turn off. The sun is hurting his eyes. The sucky mattress is hurting his back.
He wants so badly to be neutral. He wants to not care and to continue walking through life effortlessly. But he just can't fucking shake the sensation in his stomach. It felt like it was lined with ice. His hands felt detached again. Pulling on his jeans was hard. Once he was no longer dampened with milk, his feet carried him into the woods.
It was peaceful. Quiet. The air almost felt cleaner. Twigs snapped under his shoes and various animals could be heard. Caston knows that he's an intricate person. He knew that a walk in the woods wasn't going to calm him down or make him come to a realization about himself.
All he knew was that it was away. From people. From temptation. At first, he didn't know what the tingling sensation in his arms was or why his mind sounded like a hive full of bees. But now..he thinks he gets it. He wants to kill something.
Every time his hands are tingling and his body feels detached from reality, he can't stop the desire that floods his system. He can't prevent his brain from playing little movies of the life leaving someone's eyes.
Caston logically knows that it's wrong. You're literally taught from a young age about bad things and bad people. He knows. That doesn't stop him from wanting it, though. He's never felt the after effect...the guilt, so it's called.
He does it. It feels good. He wants to do it again. It's a simple process really. The people who die will probably go to heaven, so really he's doing God a favor.
Caston chuckled at his own thoughts and continued to kick the dirt around him. His eyes had landed on a rabbit and he felt the knife in his pocket. Maybe it would feel as good as taking a human life.
Before he could get any closer to the rabbit, a stick snapped behind him and the rabbit ran off. He huffed and turned around, seeing Malachi. And fucking Nicolas.
"The fuck are you doing here?" Caston asked, turning back around. Malachi's face was weird. It looked different.
"I always walk Nick around here." Malachi said. "And I wanted to check on you."
Caston scoffed. "I don't need to be fucking checked on. I'm fine. Going for a walk, is that not allowed?"
"Cas, what's wrong? You've been acting weird since this morning. Is it about what I said because-"
"You know I've killed someone, right? Two people, actually. Three isn't that big of a difference." Caston was facing Malachi again. The icy feeling in his stomach was back and it felt so much more intense.
Malachi rolled his eyes. "You're not gonna kill me."
"Why are you always so sure of that? You've known me for what? Just over two months? You don't fucking know me! Why do you trust me so much!? Why are you so sure that I won't hurt you or someone you care about!? Do you know how many times a day my body wants to hurt one of those kids!? Too many, Malachi. Too fucking many! It's like this fucking virus that won't go away! I don't hate it, but that's the fucking problem! It's like I know it's fucking bad, but I still want it! I still need it."
"Cas..."
"No. Don't say my fucking name like that. Like you fucking pity me. I don't need your fucking pity or sympathy or empathy or whatever the fuck. How do you live with me, huh? How are you comfortable enough to just have me around? How are you so fucking calm about all of my shit?"
"I don't know..same way you are, I guess. I understand that it's..not right. I know that. But it doesn't make me see you any differently. It doesn't change the way I feel about you."
"Ugh that again? I told you I don't want that, Malachi. You've known that about me since we met and-"
"And yet you kept making advances on me. Did you ever think that maybe that was unfair? That you were confident in your sexuality and I wasn't? That you could fuck and forget and I couldn't?"
"No. I didn't."
"Right. Of course you didn't." Malachi nodded. He didn't seem..upset about the statement. Maybe surprised that he even questioned it.
Caston's insides were still buzzing and he was starting to have trouble focusing on anything else. This is the longest he's ever felt it. Usually it goes away because he pushes it down with sex or he's actually killed something by now.
"Cas...Cas! You okay?" Malachi asked. His face had that weird look again and Caston felt like punching it.
"Go away." Caston said quietly, his voice low.
"What?" Malachi almost laughed.
"Go the fuck away, Malachi." Caston repeated, trying to not look at him.
"Don't be childish, Cas." Malachi rolled his eyes. "I'm just trying to talk to you and better understand..whatever it is you're dealing with."
Malachi stepped closer and Caston's stomach flipped. Malachi kept talking. He said something about carrots or doves. To be honest, Caston felt like he was wearing noise canceling headphones.
He couldn't focus on Malachi's words, but he could hear his tone. That tone his mom used. The tone Miss Jameson uses. The tone Oliver used. Malachi said the word. Caston's brain grabbed onto it, as it couldn't remember the meaning on its own.
Worried. "Caston, I'm worried about you."
What a fucking trigger. Caston wanted to laugh, but he was taking deep breaths and he couldn't ruin that. He didn't notice that he was backing away from Malachi until the leaf he was staring at had disappeared.
"Cas, what's wrong? You're kind of freaking me out." Malachi said. Despite his words, his tone was rather calm.
"Malachi..." Caston forced his heavy eyes to meet the other boy's. "Please leave."
Malachi's face kept changing. Caston tried to put words to the pictures, but he couldn't. He couldn't do it. What was it? What was it?
Malachi had managed to get closer to him. His words were finally reaching Caston's brain. His scent suddenly overpowered the smell of trees and dirt.
"Cas.." His hands were holding Caston's face, "Just tell me."
Caston looked into his eyes. Soft. Shiny. Hazel. He tried to picture what Malachi saw. Empty. Icy. Blue. He was right.
"I need it, Malachi." Caston wasn't expecting his voice to sound as strained as it did.
"What?"
Caston pushed his face against Malachi's and gripped his hips so tightly that Malachi winced. Caston's lips upturned slightly, "I think you know what I'm talking about."
"Okay...so..you wanna just do it in the woods then?"
Caston rolled his eyes. "That's not what I meant, Malachi."
"Oh..then what?"
Caston sighed. His hands were doing the thing again and he squeezed Malachi's hips even tighter.
"Ow. Fuck, Cas. What?" Malachi winced, although he didn't push Caston away.
"I need to kill something, Malachi."
"Oh." Malachi didn't move. "That's why you wanted me to leave?"
Caston nodded.
"Do you really think you could kill me?"
Caston exhaled, "I don't know."
"You don't think the fact that I'm still standing here is proof? If you wanted to kill me, you wouldn't have asked me to leave. You wouldn't be talking to me at all."
"I need to do it. It won't go away if I don't."
"You can't just kill things, Caston." Malachi said. His hands were now behind Caston's neck, playing with his hair.
"It's your fault that I want to."
Malachi leaned back a little. "Oh really? So was it my fault that you killed your dog when you were a kid? Because I don't recall being around back then. You just don't want to own up to it."
"Oh I'll own up to it. I take full fucking credit. I didn't want that dog--or any pet for that matter. I wanted to get rid of it and I did. I'm just saying that I was fine before you came along. I didn't think about shit, I just went about my life smoothly. You're the one who fucked everything up."
"Did I? Did I just upturn your life and ruin everything you thought you knew about yourself? Did I crush the stability and ruin everything you were used to?"
"Yes." Caston deadpanned.
Malachi rolled his eyes and backed away. "You're joking right? Everything I just said, you did to me!"
"Oh please. Making you come to terms with yourself fucking pales in comparison to making someone murder people."
"I don't make you kill people, Cas! That's all you! Because you're afraid to process and be in touch with your emotions!"
"I don't have emotions! The only thing I feel is sex and the desire to fucking kill things!"
"Because you don't fucking try! Because you're a fucking coward!"
"I am not!"
"Then why have you been avoiding me!? Why have you been acting weird and distant, huh!? What has you so worked up that you feel the need to kill something!? What could possibly make you so angry!?"
"You! Why did you tell me you love me!? WHY DO YOU FUCKING LOVE ME!? HOW DO YOU FUCKING LOVE ME, MALACHI!? YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT MAKES ME WANT TO KILL THINGS!? THAT DOES! YOU DO! BECAUSE HOW DO YOU DO IT!? AND WHY THE FUCK CAN'T I FEEL THAT TOO!?"
The woods were quiet. Caston figures he probably scared away every animal for miles. Malachi hadn't budged.
"Cas..it's- it's okay that you don't love me back." Malachi said. His voice cracked and his eyes were drowning. But his expression was still soft and he only looked at Caston.
"No. No it's not okay! I was fucking fine before you came along and looked at me and touched me and- and fucking loved me! This is your fucking fault! And fucking look at you feeling shit! You know what I feel about this!? Fucking nothing! Nothing but my fucking hands and my head shaking and it won't fucking stop and I can't- get off me! What the fuck!?" Caston felt something jump on his leg and he instinctively kicked it. Hard.
Two loud yelps echoed through the woods and Malachi turned sharply. Caston glanced in the direction that his leg kicked, seeing the brown puppy laying next to a tree.
Caston exhaled a laugh. "Oh shit, it hit the tree."
Malachi was standing motionless and slowly turned to look at Caston. His many expressions were gone, leaving one Caston recognized and knew well. A blank canvas.
"Is it like...okay?" Caston asked, seeing that the dog still hadn't moved.
"I don't know! You fucking kicked him into a tree, Cas!" Malachi said.
"Okay. Do you want me to like..?" Caston motioned towards the animal.
"I- yeah...I guess."
Caston nodded and walked over to the dog. It was laying on its side, breathing heavily. It looked quite miserable to be honest. His knife was out of his pocket and flipped open in barely a second. He felt the familiar resistance of a blade entering something it probably shouldn't.
He could feel his arms and his mind went quiet. The sound was unpleasant and the action was messy. But he couldn't stop. It felt like releasing a deep breath or finally laying in bed after a long day.
"CAS! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?" Malachi screamed running up behind him.
"You told me to kill it!"
"NO THE FUCK I DIDN'T! WHY WOULD I TELL YOU TO KILL HIM!? I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA CHECK ON HIM HOLY SHIT! FUCK!"
Caston made a face. "My bad."
Malachi turned away and rubbed his face and then pushed his hands through his hair.
"It's not like...in pain anymore." Caston said awkwardly.
"Yeah, that's helps a bunch. Thanks, Cas. Fucking hell.." Malachi sighed. His eyes flicked beside Caston and they seemed to lose focus. He looked away and stared blankly ahead with his jaw clenched.
Caston looked down and saw the blood on his hands and up his forearms. He finally felt grounded and his brain was smoothly running through a few coherent thoughts, all of them about Malachi.
Caston looked over his shoulder, "Mal..."
Malachi turned to him, his eyes red and his cheeks wet. He sniffled. "Hm?"
Caston looked up at him. "Do you still love me?"
Malachi wiped his face, walked over to Caston, and crouched down next to him. He took a breath. "The fucking sick and twisted thing is..yeah. I do. How fucking messed up is that? Like you know when someone does something that..gets under your skin? Makes you kind of want to punch them or never see them again?"
Caston shrugged and partially nodded.
"I don't feel that with you. For fuck's sake, you just killed my dog and I don't hate you. I don't fucking know why. I want to hate you. I wish that I didn't want you around. I wish that I could hate you, but I don't."
"That's weird as fuck, man."
Malachi laughed and leaned forward, resting his forehead against Caston's shoulder, "Yeah, I know."
"I didn't like...do it on purpose." Caston said.
Malachi lifted his head off of Caston's shoulder. He didn't look angry or scared. He simply looked curious. Maybe sad too, considering his eyes were still crying.
"I told you to go away."
Malachi smiled weakly. "I know. It's okay."
"I can like...bury it for you."
"I was going to make you do it anyway."
Caston chuckled. "Fair. Um..how am I gonna like..get cleaned up?"
"Good luck. Let me know how it goes." Malachi smacked Caston on the shoulder and then stood up.
"Hey! You can't just leave me."
"You killed my dog."
"You're gonna hold that against me forever, aren't you?"
"I think I have the right."
"Okay. Can you at least help me out? I can't exactly show up covered in blood."
Malachi sighed. "The kids get an hour at the lake before the campfire and I have to be there to supervise Hill House. So..no one will be around."
Caston nodded.
"We both have to help prepare for the campfire, so be back before six." Malachi said, then swiftly turned and walked away.
Since he has no shovel, Caston had to excavate the ground with his hands. It was rather simple since the clearing they were in had very little grass, but it made him cringe. He could feel dirt under his nails and he couldn't wait to wash it off.
Not long after the animal was in the ground, Caston headed back to camp and tried his best to not run into anyone. He was successful, until he made it to the showers, which are right next to the bathrooms.
Because timing is never on his side, as soon as he walked up to the buildings, Silas walked out of the bathroom.
"Yo, is that blood?"
"Yes. It's blood," Caston rolled his eyes. "It's fucking dirt."
Silas eyed his hands and arms intently. "What the hell were you doing?"
"Trying to dig my way out."
"Understandable."
Caston raised a brow. "Really?"
"Yeah, some of these kids are fucking annoying. I couldn't imagine having to look after them like you do." Silas crossed his arms.
"Yeah, it sucks ass. Look, nice chat and all, but I'd like to not be covered in dirt anymore." Caston said.
"Right. Yeah. Sorry. I just..my bad." Silas messed up the back of his hair.
Caston suddenly remembered him doing the same thing the night they met.
"Did you talking to me have another purpose besides figuring out whether I'm covered in blood or not?" Caston asked.
Silas looked down at the ground and back up to Caston. "Maybe."
"Maybe? We'll be here for hours if I don't make the first move, won't we?" Caston quirked a brow and crossed his arms. "You must want me pretty badly if you're hitting on me when I look like this."
Silas shrugged. "It's just dirt. You still look hot."
"Nice to know." Caston chuckled. "So are you going to shyly flirt with me like a middle schooler or do you wanna fuck?"
Silas's eyes widened ever so slightly. "I wanna fuck. Definitely."
Caston tilted his head in the direction of the showers, then walked into the building. He quickly rid himself of his clothes and turned on the shower farthest from the door.
The second Caston was clean, Silas joined him under the hot water, his shy demeanor almost completely gone.
Caston's chest was against Silas's back, the boy's hands pressed against the tile. The water was running beside them and Caston's mouth started to work on Silas's neck.
"Are you actually soft spoken or is that just a ploy to get a dick in your ass?" Caston asked, placing his right hand over Silas's and using his left to hold Silas's waist.
Silas turned his head slightly, a small smirk visible. "Depends. I mean, I'm not like you, but I get around. If I have to play up the innocent boy act to get some, then so be it."
Caston was pleasantly surprised with the outcome of hooking up with Silas. Not only did it feel incredible, but afterwards, the boy gave him a two finger salute and said "later."
Maybe the key to topping someone is deprivation because damn did he enjoy that.
Only after he was clean and wrapped in a towel did Caston realize that he didn't bring clothes to change into. So he had to make the trek across the camp with nothing but a towel hanging low on his waist. Everyone was still down at the lake, but Caston really would've enjoyed catching some eyes.
He ended up in jeans and one of Malachi's cut offs, opting for his thick boots instead of his black converse. He walked slowly down to the lake, wanting to spend as little time with the children as possible.
His two rounds with Silas and his insistence on getting dressed at a snails pace got him to the lake just as all of the kids were being lined up and wrapped in towels.
It seemed like everyone had gathered at the lake, including James; he was setting up tables with a pretty girl, who had curly hair and dark skin. It was a beautiful contrast to the lighter patches that seemed to cover a fair amount of her exposed skin.
The campfire area was quickly set up and the flames soon lit the darkening sky. Kids wrapped in towels were sitting around the flames, talking happily amongst the bugs.
Caston stood a few feet away, so the chatter was incomprehensible. The flames crackled along with snapping sticks, crickets, and the occasional frog.
Luke and Jared, the two cooks who were rarely seen, were standing behind a table with an array of campfire appropriate foods.
Caston walked up to them and eyed the open cooler of water, soda, and juice. "Got anything stronger?"
"Dude, I wish."
"I thought of all people, you would. Didn't you literally throw a party a few days ago?" The blond one, who looked like a Luke, said.
"It wasn't a party. There was just alcohol."
"That's a party."
Caston rolled his eyes. "So not even like an energy drink?"
"I think there's a red bull in my car." Luke (he thinks) said, jabbing a thumb behind him.
Caston cringed. "Gross. I'd rather drink water."
Jared pulled a dripping bottle out of the cooler and held it out to Caston.
"I'm not going to drink water. Red bull is just ass." Caston said, glaring at the bottle.
"My bad." Jared tossed it back with all of the other drinks. "Want like a hot dog or something?"
"I'd rather suck dick."
"Is that like the water and you aren't going to suck dick?"
Caston smirked and eyed the two boys up and down. "That's up to you."
"Cas, stop flirting with the staff, you're going to give the whole camp an STI." Malachi appeared, grabbing a Mountain Dew Kickstart from the depths of the cooler.
"You fucking lied to me." Caston pointed an accusatory finger at Luke and Jared.
"No we didn't. That's Malachi's." Luke said, pointing to the can Malachi had opened.
"You make a special request or something?"
Malachi took a long drink. "Yes, I did."
"Why didn't you tell me I could do that?"
"Because you don't deserve it."
"Why the fuck not?"
"I think that's a question you can answer yourself."
"Share it with me." Caston reached for the can, but Malachi pulled it away.
"No." Malachi took another drink and turned away from Caston.
Caston reached around Malachi, his chest pressed against his back and his feet stumbling behind Malachi's, as he still tried to keep the drink from him.
"I'm not gonna fucking drink it all. I just want some." Caston said, still trying to reach the drink Malachi was continously moving out of his reach.
They stumbled their way towards a tree, where Caston turned Malachi around and harshly shoved his back against the bark.
"You know you're supposed to be wearing your counselor shirt, right? That's kind of why they gave it to you."
"That's what you wanna talk about right now?" Caston raised a brow.
"You're supposed to stand out to the kids and actually act like a counselor."
"Yeah, I'm not fucking doing that." Caston managed to finally get the can from Malachi and take a drink, although Malachi had stopped his efforts to keep it from him. "Ew, what fucking flavor is that?"
"Mango lime."
Caston took another drink and cringed. "That's disgusting."
"Why'd you take another drink, then?" Malachi laughed.
"There's no caffeine here. I'm about to be near kids and fire. I need to feel something that isn't homicidal rage."
"Is that why you pinned me against a tree? To feel something?"
"No, I just wanted your drink. It tastes like ass, by the way."
"At least I know you won't steal it." Malachi said, taking another long drink. As soon as the can was tilted back down, Caston smacked it out of Malachi's hand and onto the ground.
"Hey!"
"Oh no. Now you have to do something else with your mouth." Caston smirked, pressing himself closer to Malachi.
"You killed my dog like two hours ago, I think I'm gonna need just a little more time before I do you any sexual favors."
Caston groaned and threw his head back. He then leaned forward and kissed up Malachi's neck. "Please?"
Malachi grabbed his arms and pushed him away. "No."
"How long are you gonna need because I'm not fucking waiting around for you." Caston huffed, crossing his arms.
Malachi rolled his eyes. "For fuck's sake, Cas. We are literally in public. Everyone is here. I'm not going to suck your dick behind a tree with eighty kids five feet away."
"So...later?" Caston smirked.
Malachi rolled his eyes and walked away, joining the kids around the fire.
Caston walked back over to Luke and Jared, who surprisingly seemed to not have witnessed anything Caston and Malachi just did. "Are you hiding another fucking Kickstart for him?"
"No. Just the one."
"Liar." Caston crossed his arms.
Luke rolled his eyes and sighed. "They're his. He paid for them."
"I'm not stealing one. I fucking spilled his or whatever, so just give me a new one. For him. Not for me."
Luke and Jared shared a look and then the latter grabbed another tall can from the bottom of the cooler. "That's actually the last one out here. The other ones are in the kitchen fridge, so don't spill it."
Caston turned on his heel and walked over to Malachi. He stood behind him and held the can in front of his face.
Malachi turned around and looked up at Caston. He smiled and accepted the can, immediately opening it and taking a drink. He then held it up and over his shoulder.
Caston grabbed it and checked the flavor (black cherry) before taking a drink. "Oh that's the best one."
Since Malachi was surrounded with kids, Caston took a seat across from him. Aaron soon came up to him, holding a stick and a handful of marshmallows.
"Mr. Caston, can you help me?"
Caston sighed and scooted to the edge of his seat. He faked a smile. "Sure."
Malachi made an exaggerated "aw" face at him from across the fire.
Caston stuck a few marshmallows onto the stick and then held it over the fire. Aaron had gingerly grabbed a small part of the stick, his small hands looking even smaller next to Caston's.
"How done do you want them?" Caston asked.
"Ummm..I don't know."
"Alright. Burnt it is."
"Eww no!"
"So then.."
"Just brown. Like the cartoons."
"Okay. Cartoon marshmallows coming up."
Aaron laughed and looked back at the fire, where one of the marshmallows had caught flames.
"Oh no!" Aaron exclaimed.
Caston pulled the stick towards him and blew out the small flames. "It's alright. This one can be mine."
"It's all burnt, though." Aaron frowned.
"They're better that way. Get with the program, Microsoft." Caston said, gently pulling the burnt marshmallow off of the stick.
"Are you not gonna make a s'more?" Aaron titled his head.
"Ew. Fuck no. Those things are ass. They ruin a perfectly good marshmallow." Caston said, then popped the burnt one into his mouth.
"You're wrong." Aaron said.
"Oooh. Watch your back, Aaron." Malachi said, making the small boy look at him and then back to Caston.
"It's not wrong to have an opinion, you little shit beetle." Caston said.
Aaron frowned at him. "Why are you always calling me names? I am always nice to you."
Caston looked down at him and over to Malachi, who was holding back a laugh. "I do that with everyone, you're not special. Now where's the rest of this abomination."
Aaron pulled a small chocolate bar out of his pocket and seemed to have been holding a graham cracker the whole time.
Caston helped him assemble it, then pushed him away gently. "Don't eat that near me. Shit's messy."
The kids were fed with help from their counselors, the young ones starting to yawn and get heavy eyed.
"Alright, it's nearly bedtime for Hill House and River House." James said, standing up.
The kids whined in protest, despite their obvious exhaustion.
"Hit the showers and then off to bed. We have more activities tomorrow and you'll all have more fun if you're well rested." James said.
The kids reluctantly got up and the girls of River House left first, following their counselors, Jade and Hannah.
"It should be your turn to take them." Malachi said, as Caston walked over and took a seat that had freed up next to him.
"Absolutely not."
"Cas, I do it every time. You're never there. I do basically everything without your help. The least you could do is take them to the showers one time." Malachi sighed.
"Malachi...I really shouldn't." Caston said.
Malachi stared at him and then leaned his head back. "That just gets you out of everything, huh? Maybe I should-"
"Hey, I can take them for you if neither of you feel up to it." James said.
"Really?" Malachi seemed relieved, then his face changed. "Why?"
"Because I'm head counselor. It's kind of what I'm here for. Doing stuff you can't and making sure everyone is safe." James said.
Malachi looked at him suspiciously. "Mhm. Okay. Thanks."
James smiled, then gathered up the boys of Hill House and marched them energetically up to the cabins.
"The fuck was that?" Caston laughed.
"What?" Malachi slouched farther in his chair.
"You were totally acting weird."
"Was not."
"Noah, you saw that, right? Was that weird?" Caston asked.
"Yeah, it was kinda weird, Chi." Noah chuckled.
Malachi sighed and rolled his eyes. "I was just wondering if he was doing it for you. If he hadn't fucked you, would he still be such a hands on head counselor?"
"Oh you're jealous!" Noah gasped.
"Pfft. Was not. Am not."
"I don't know if I'm okay with you being in love with me if you're gonna act like that." Caston chuckled.
"Well I can't exactly just turn it off." Malachi sighed.
"Can you like..tone it down a bit?"
"What do you want me to do? Fuck other people?"
"Yes. Please. That's exactly what I want."
"I'm not gonna do that."
"Oh come on. Live a little."
"Hang on. When did that happen?" Noah asked, leaning forward, elbows on his knees.
Caston shrugged.
"So you're in love with him, but he fucked James? Is that like...I'm so confused." Noah exhaled.
"Cas has no feelings. I love him. He loves getting his dick sucked. I don't want to fuck other people, but I really don't care that he does. Make sense?"
Noah stared at them for a second. "I mean..yeah, but that's like..fucked up."
"Well so is Cas, it fits."
"So when you say really don't care, is that your way of saying that you actually do care, you just don't want to lose him because he doesn't want what you do?" Noah asked.
"No, not at all."
"Okay. Yeah. That's what I thought, just making sure."
After a bit of silence, the counselors and some of the older campers came back, a few of them carrying drinks and blankets.
"Is that alcohol?" Caston asked.
"Yes, it is."
"And how do you think this reflects on you as head counselor?" Caston raised a brow.
"Mmm.." James grabbed a bottle and held it out to Caston, "I think it's fine."
"We playing a game or are we just gonna drink like deadbeat dads?" Hannah asked, as she accepting a drink from James.
Everyone seemed to speak at once, coming to the agreement that a game would be more fun. James walked up to Jax and held a drink out to him.
"No, thanks. I'm sticking with soda today. Last time I drank, I threw up in my shoes and woke up with a nasty hangover." Jax said.
"That's probably best. You wouldn't wanna go kissing Caston again." Seth chuckled.
Jax choked on his drink. He coughed loudly and wiped his mouth. "You're lying."
"He's not." Eric said. "I have a picture."
"You took a picture!? Dude!" Seth laughed.
Eric pulled his phone out and walked over to Jax, showing him the screen.
"Why the fuck is it your wallpaper!?" Jax yelled, grabbing the phone and looking at the picture closely.
"Because it gives me hope that maybe you're not totally homophobic. Maybe you're just repressed." Eric said, taking his phone back.
"I am not repressed!" Jax pointed a finger at him.
"A picture holds a thousand words or whatever that saying is." Eric said, gently shaking his phone in Jax's direction.
Jax rolled his eyes. "I was drunk. It meant nothing. And so help me if you say something about drunk words sober thoughts, I'll punch you."
After everyone had stopped teasing Jax (it never fully stopped, it just calmed down), they started a game of truth or dare. As the night went on, everyone got tired and a little tipsy, so more truths were increasingly completed.
"Caston, truth or dare?" Alden asked, following his words with a drink.
"Um...truth."
Seth gently gasped. "Does this mean we have to shoot you?"
Caston rolled his eyes. "No. I just don't wanna get up or anything."
"Fair," Alden titled his drink towards Caston. "Alright...have you hooked up with anyone at camp?"
Caston exhaled a laugh. "Hell yeah. Multiple times."
"Multiple times or multiple people?" Alden asked.
Caston lifted his drink. "Both."
"Damn."
"Um..Noah..truth or dare?" Caston asked, taking a long drink to prepare.
"Truth, I guess."
"Um...I'm bad at these ones. Are you interested in anyone right now?"
Noah looked around at everyone and swirled his drink around. "Yeah."
"Oh shit, really? Who?" Malachi asked, leaning up slightly.
"This isn't grill Noah, next person." Noah sighed, taking a drink.
"That's you, sweetie." Eric chuckled.
"Oh..right." Noah looked around and eventually picked Jade, who admitted to having a crush on Zoe.
"No ones picking dare, so I will." Malachi said.
"Interesting." She smirked and eyed Malachi for a second. Her eyes subtly flicked to Caston, then back to Malachi. "I dare you... to kiss Caston."
Caston kind of wanted to laugh. Partially because kissing in front of people is a big turn on and partially because he doesn't think Malachi would ever do that.
"Okay." Malachi turned towards Caston, still slouched in his chair. He grabbed the front of Caston's shirt and pulled him down, making him hold the arm rest so he didn't fall over. Malachi kissed him hard and slow, their tongues meeting between their lips. Malachi's hand ended up in Caston's hair and he grabbed a fist full of it to push him away.
Everyone was silent and stared at them with shocked faces.
"I just meant like a peck on the lips..but okay." Jade chuckled.
Malachi laughed. "Oops. Alright-"
"No. We are not glazing over that." Caleb said, sitting on the edge of his seat.
"Yeah, that was like way too comfortable and intimate for just a dare." Roman said, his eyes constantly flicking between the two boys.
"You guys have kissed before, haven't you?" Seth asked with a gentle point of his finger.
Malachi smirked with a shrug. "Neither of us said truth. You can't ask us shit."
Everyone groaned and rolled their eyes, seeming more invested in this than anything else they've done all summer.
"Umm..." Malachi drug out, then turned to Caston, "Truth or dare?"
"You know, that's a good question."
"Isn't it?"
"Man, a tough one. Hm.."
"Oh for fuck's sake, you guys!" Seth exclaimed.
Caston chuckled. "Dare."
"I dare you...to not answer any questions for the rest of the night." Malachi said smugly.
"Hey!"
"You can't do that!"
"That's gotta be against the rules!"
Malachi chuckled and finished his drink, then tossed the empty bottle on the ground.
"Jax, truth or dare?" Caston asked.
"Truth." Jax said, barely letting Caston finish the question.
"Damn, okay." Caston smirked, "Did you like kissing me?"
Jax rolled his eyes. "I don't even remember it."
"I don't believe you."
"I really don't."
"Do I need to jog your memory, then?"
"No. Absolutely not. No. I- it was fine. You have...soft lips, I guess." Jax sighed.
Caston leaned back and smirked. "I'll take it. Soft lips. You agree, Mal?"
"It's not my turn." Malachi shrugged.
Caston rolled his eyes.
"Malachi, truth or dare?" Jax asked.
Malachi looked over at Caston and smirked, holding eye contact, "Truth."
The boys seemed to have a quiet moment of triumph and whispered to each other quickly.
Jax leaned back up from the huddle. "Have you fucked Caston?"
Everyone was looking at them, even the girls who weren't as invested in this as much as Malachi's teammates clearly were.
Malachi slowly looked away from Caston and let a few silent seconds pass. "Yes."
"Oh shit!"
"No way!"
"Wait wait! If he was the secret friend, then he was totally the blowjob that we thought was Katie." Seth said, his eyes and voice eager.
"See and you were all being mean to me about calling him gay and I was right. It's not homophobic if you're right about it." Jax said.
"Um...that's not how it works." Caleb chuckled. "Even gay people can be homophobic, Jax."
"I'm not homophobic. I don't care if he likes dick. I don't get it, but it has nothing to do with me." Jax said.
"Then stop being such an ass weasel with all your snarky comments." Malachi said.
Caston muttered, "Ass weasel. Nice."
Needless to say, Caston got fucked good later that night. He knows part of it is because Malachi had alcohol in his system, but he really didn't care.
Caston didn't know what time it was, but he was still awake and Malachi was still pressed against him. His skin was soft and his breath was hitting Caston's neck.
"I like that you're not treating me differently." Caston said, gently running his fingers up and down Malachi's skin.
"I told you I wouldn't."
"I know, but my dad said the same thing after my mom. And then again when I told him that I don't feel anything. But he didn't stick to it. He saw me differently. He used different tones and words. It made me feel stupid and childish. You don't make me feel that way. You actually make me feel..normal. And I know that I'm not, but I feel like I am with you. Like I want to be normal. Like I could be someday."
Malachi propped himself up with his arm and looked down at him. "Whether you're normal or not, you will always just be Caston. And that's perfectly fine with me." Malachi exhaled a laugh, "For some fucking reason."
YOU ARE READING
Hedon
Random[Proper description in progress...] I'm warning you, this story is messy and all over the place because I wrote it for me and my mind. It's also a little dark maybe, so..you are forewarned I guess.
