Hedon

Hedon - Chapter 24

  Between Caston and Malachi, Caston almost never woke up first when they slept together, unless he just didn't sleep at all. He assumed there was something different in the California air when his first sight in the morning was an unconscious Malachi drooling onto his pillow.
  "Gross."
  "Cause you're just such an angel in the morning." Malachi mumbled against his pillow.
  "Who says angels don't drool? I wasn't calling you gross. I was saying the morning breath drool is gross. Doing something unpleasant doesn't take away your ability to be an angel just as much as lacking an unpleasantry doesn't make you one."
  "You know.." Malachi opened his eyes and moved his head so his face wasn't squished against the pillow. "You're so unintentionally romantic sometimes."
  "I can get real unromantic real fast, so be careful."
  "I'm always careful with you, Cassie, my baby, the love of m-"
  Caston smacked his pillow over Malachi's face, cutting his words off. "That's your warning. Next thing you're hit with will leave a mark."
  "Promise?" Malachi smirked, after throwing the pillow off of him.
  "I'm gonna go find something to eat. You're welcome to join me if you stop acting like that." Caston said, climbing off of the bed and shuffling over to the door.
  Caston walked the short distance to the kitchen and opened one of the cabinets next to the fridge. His eyes immediately landed on the box of unfrosted blueberry pop tarts. He grabbed the box and opened it, pulling out one of the silver packages.
  He hopped up onto the kitchen island and ripped open the foil. He took one pop tart out and sat the other one next to him.
  By the time he ripped it in half and took a few bites, Malachi appeared, now wearing pants, unlike Caston.
  "Found your pop tarts, I see." Malachi smiled, stopping in front of Caston.
  "My pop tarts?" Caston questioned, still chewing.
  "When I told my dad you were coming with me, he asked what you liked to eat. I named a few things and those were one of the things I mentioned." Malachi explained, motioning to the pastry.
  "And how'd you know?"
  "I'm in love with you, I kind of pay attention to the little things. I didn't go to your house very often, but of the times I was there, I always saw a box in the open-faced cabinet next to the fridge. You also swiped them from the kitchen at camp. Then when you stayed at my house, even though you never seemed to be around for breakfast, my mom kept them in the kitchen for you."
  Caston stared at him and continued to eat his pop tart silently. He grabbed the second one and held it out to Malachi. "Bite?"
  Malachi stepped forward and took a bite of the rectangle pastry, making a displeased face. "Ew you didn't even toast it?"
  "Why would I toast it? It's fruit." Caston said, splitting it in half just like he did the first one.
  "It's in the name, Cas. Pop tarts. They're supposed to go in the toaster."
  "That's gross." Caston cringed. "Want another bite before I finish it?"
  Malachi smiled and placed his hands on the counter on either side of Caston. "No. Thank you, though."
  "Your dad got coffee anywhere?" Caston asked, yet again speaking with a full mouth.
  "I would assume."
  "Okay? Then get me some." Caston said as if Malachi should've offered to do it first.
  "Cas, I don't live here. I don't know where it is."
  "Then look. It's not that hard."
  "If it's not that hard, why don't you do it?"
  "Cause you're standing. I'd have to get all the way off of this counter, you just have to turn around."
  "You're right. My bad. The journey from the top of the counter to the floor is just too big for tiny little Cassie."
  "I'm not tiny."
  "Your big boots are compensating for something and we know it isn't dick size." Malachi slightly widened his eyes as he flicked them down. "Face it, baby, under those big black boots, you're small."
  "And lethal."
  "Yes." Malachi kissed the top of his head. "My dangerous little Cassie."
  Caston wrapped his legs around Malachi's waist, pulling him closer with his crossed ankles. He rested his arms on Malachi's shoulders and Malachi's hands were forever present on his hips.
  "You've already said it today." Caston said, brushing his thumbs up and down the back of Malachi's neck.
  "I didn't say anything."
  "You were about to."
  "I just want to kiss you, that's all."
  "Can't get enough of me on this trip, huh?" Caston smirked.
  Malachi pushed his face against Caston's, pulling him closer by his hips. "I can never get enough of you."
  The sound of someone clearing their throat came from behind Caston, making him turn to look, his hands still on Malachi's shoulders.
  Hunter was standing in his doorway, staring at them with an expression Caston figured he couldn't decipher because of distance.
  "I uh..sorry, I just...was gonna make breakfast before...um Liam. Going to the mall..with Liam." Hunter stumbled over his words and walked into the kitchen, seeming to try his best to avoid eye contact.
  Malachi slowly backed up and took Caston's hands off of his shoulders. For a second he felt like he was back in Chicago and Malachi wouldn't do anything to prove that he wasn't gay.
  The kitchen was dead silent, making Caston just now notice that the back doors were closed. Malachi was standing against the counter across from Caston, leaving the places he was holding feeling cold.
  "Mal," Caston said, making the boy look to him. "Coffee?"
  "Right." Malachi said quietly, then turned around and began rifling through the cabinets above the Keurig.
  Caston leaned back on his hands and awaited his coffee, occasionally flicking his eyes between the two brothers who were seeming to pretend that the other wasn't there.
  Hunter got a handful of things out of the fridge and sat them on the counter next to it, keeping his back to Caston and Malachi.
  Caston swung his feet back and forth and leaned his head back to stare up at the ceiling.
  "Here."
  He looked down, seeing Malachi holding a mug out to him.
  "Where's the ice?"
  "You didn't say you wanted ice."
  "So you love me enough to know that I like blueberry pop tarts but not enough to know that I drink iced coffee?"
  The sound of crunching plastic suddenly stopped, making Malachi glance over at Hunter, who still had his back to them. He stood frozen for a few seconds, then grabbed one of the things off of the counter and quickly left out the front door.
  "Cas.." Malachi's tone reminded Caston a lot of his dad when he would do something he shouldn't have.
  "What?"
  Malachi sat the mug on the counter and rubbed his hands over his face and through his hair.
  "What?" Caston repeated, stressing the word a bit more.
  "I'm taking a minute so I don't lash out. I know you don't know what you did, so I'm not going to yell at you as if you did it on purpose. I know you didn't." Malachi said, then crossed his arms.
  "Okay...can you put ice in my coffee while you wait?"
  Malachi looked up at him and the corner of his mouth slightly turned up. He grabbed the mug and poured its contents into a glass cup with ice.
  "Here." Malachi held it out, turning on his heel the second Caston took it.
  Caston took a drink, then looked down at the ice in the glass. "Are you mad at me?"
  "No, Cassie."
  "Okay. Good." Caston took another drink. "Can we go have sex, then?"
  "Your inability to read a room will never cease to amaze me."
  Caston looked around with his eyes. "The room is fine? I'm not saying we'd have sex here. We'd go to the bedroom."
  "The energy, the mood, the emotions, Caston."
  "Oh. Well you know I can't do that."
  "I know. If you could, you wouldn't have said that in front of Hunter. Hell, you'd probably be with him instead of me if you gave a shit about how others felt."
  "No, I wouldn't."
  "If I had sex with you first, I don't think I would've fucked Hunter."
  "So you did fuck him because of me." Malachi's face changed, reminding Caston of the night he found out.
  Caston shook his head. "No. You're just so much better than he was. Not to mention, you let me bottom. But I didn't get with him because he was like you. I got with him because I couldn't have you and I needed something. He also came onto me and I've never turned down someone's advances before. There was a small part of me that thought that if you found out, maybe it'd be your final straw and you'd get angry at me and roughly hate fuck me."
  Caston took a drink, then continued. "Like I've said, I've always wanted you from the second I met you. I don't know why, but I was drawn to you. You were this fucking cosmic thing in front of me that I just had to experience. I needed to know what it was like. What you were like. And once I did, I didn't want to stop. And that was so weird to me. Because I've never wanted something--someone the way I want you; over and over and over again."
  "Caston, you've never fucking said that to me."
  "Oh." Caston said simply, continuing to drink his coffee. "Thought I did."
  "No. You've glazed over my question about why you come back to me, but you never gave me a straight answer." Malachi was looking at him in that way again. "And what sucks about this now is that...you have no idea how much your words affect me."
  Caston looked up at Malachi with just his eyes, a smile tugging at his lips. "Yes, I do."
  Malachi's face seemed to slowly fall. "It was another lie, wasn't it?"
  "I told you before we left that I didn't want to lie anymore. Why would I go back on that when all it would do is make my life harder?" Caston downed the last of his coffee, then crunched on an ice cube. "I know that you love me, so obviously I know that in turn, I have an affect on you. It's common sense."
  Malachi nodded and stepped closer, gently grazing Caston's knees with his fingertips.
  "No, Liam..please don't-"
  Caston turned to look at the front door, where Liam and a less-than-thrilled Hunter had appeared.
  "Caston!" That infamous accent twisted Caston's name oddly. "How've you been mate?"
  "Sexually active." Caston said, feeling Malachi lean father against his knees.
  "Alright, good for you. I haven't been doing too bad myself since you left." Liam said, placing his hands on the edge of the island and leaning forward slightly.
  "Guys and girls, huh?"
  Liam nodded. "I don't think I ever would have considered it if you didn't..you know...show me what it was like."
  "I'm honored to have given you your first taste of dick." Caston said.
  Liam laughed and pushed himself up off of the counter. He then looked to Malachi. "And how have you been, Chi?"
  "Sexually active."
  Liam raised his eyebrows, then looked between the two boys a few times. He smirked. "I see."
  Malachi's side was now firmly pressed against Caston's legs and his eyes were firmly set on Liam.
  "Liam, can we go now?" Hunter walked a bit closer, having stayed by the front door when they came in.
  "Why are you in such a rush to leave?" Liam asked, turning halfway to face Hunter.
  "Because we have plans." Hunter crossed his arms. "And last time you bonded with Caston for more than two minutes, I walked in on you fucking in my bed."
  "Alright. Fair." Liam nodded, then turned to Caston and Malachi. "We'll catch up later. Maybe. Probably not. Good seeing you."
  Malachi nodded and watched the two boys leave before turning to look at Caston. "You fucked him in Hunter's bed?"
  Caston shrugged. "So?"
  "So, now I know why he's being so weird." Malachi smacked Caston on the head. "He fucking liked you and you had sex with someone else in his bed. And he walked in on it."
  "Okay first, ow. And second, I was very apparent from the beginning that our little thing was nothing more than sex. He's the one who caught feelings and then introduced me to his hot friends after weeks of me having to fuck him in the ass. Liam was only bicurious at the time, so he willingly fucked me. I don't regret it and I don't feel bad for it. I would do it all over again if I had to. I don't know why people are making me feel responsible for someone else's feelings. That's their problem, not mine."
  "I agree. I don't blame you or put responsibility on you for my feelings. At least..I hope I don't." Malachi's hands gently brushed against Caston's knees. "If I do, I'm sorry. I don't mean to. It's not your responsibility to coddle me or to cater to my feelings. I don't ever want to make you feel like it's your fault."
  Caston nodded. "With you, I know it's not. You seem to know that I can't just change the way my mind works and that..I don't choose it. Everyone else always makes it seem like I'm faking it. Like I just pretend not not feel things. You seem to know that it's just the way I am. I like that."
  Malachi smiled, rubbing his thumb across Caston's knee. "As someone who is in love with you, it's my job to treat you as such; to actually care about you and not expect things of you that are irrational. To understand you as a human and to know you inside and out. I love you, so all I want is for you to be happy and comfortable. Your happy and comfortable will be different from mine. If that, to you, is nothing but sex and threatening to kill or hurt me, then that's what my future looks like. And I will walk into it without hesitation."
  "You're so disgusting." Caston pushed Malachi away with his feet, then hopped off of the counter.
  Malachi wrapped his arms around him from behind, pulling Caston's back against his chest. "But you like it, don't you?"
  "You're getting too brave. Do I need to knife you or something?"
  Malachi laughed, keeping a firm hold on Caston, even tightening his arms a little. "If you want to."
  "Caireful or you'll have more than a couple lines on your collarbones."
  "Oh no. More physical proof of you on my body? I would just hate that." Malachi pulled him even closer. "You could carve Caston was here and I really wouldn't give a fuck."
  "Why not Caston is here? Or just Caston's."
  "Whatever you want. Both are true."
  Caston's hands were now holding onto Malachi's forearms.
  Malachi kissed his neck, half a syllable barely leaving his mouth before he was cut off.
  "Am I interrupting?" Russell asked.
  Malachi released Caston and turned to face his dad, clearing his throat. "No. No, not at all. Sorry, I was just- we were about to leave. Sorry."
  "Okay." Russell chuckled gently. "I'm not gonna yell at you or anything, you can relax, Malachi."
  "Still haven't told him, huh?" Caston looked to Malachi. "After that, I'm not sure you need to, though."
  "I actually planned on filling him in during this trip, but...I had a different script."
  "Right. The Caston left me right after I started to accept my feelings for him script." Caston nodded.
  "Now it needs to be dad, I love him, but Caston's a weird creature, so we're not exactly dating, but I only have sex with him, right?" Russell said.
  "Aww, he gets me!"
  "So, did I cover it?"
  "Just about, yeah." Malachi nodded, his arms crossed over his chest. "How'd you..like...know?"
  "I've never seen you in love before. I've seen you in relationships, I've seen the way you look and act. Never once has it been the way you are now with Caston. I figured it was the only explanation." Russell smiled. "God knows how you fell in love with that."
  Malachi laughed, the pretty noise backing up Caston's  offended sound.
  "I don't know why I keep you around when you treat me like this." Caston huffed.
  "Yes you do." Malachi smiled at him.
  "Shove a dick in it."
  "In front of my dad? That's a bit strange, even for you, Cassie."
  "You guys are cute." Russell said, walking over to the Keurig and grabbing a mug. "How does Hunter feel about all of this?"
  "I haven't exactly...told him."
  "But he knows. I can tell." Russell turned and leaned against the counter, the Keurig brewing behind him.
  "We've...we're better than we used to be. I think we worked out everything from when I was..."
  "A repressed homophobic prick?" Caston offered.
  "Yes, thank you, Caston." Malachi gave him a look, then turned back to his dad. "We're on better terms now, but...he kind of walked in on us..?"
  "Oh?"
  "It wasn't how you think, it was...it was something Hunter was upset by."
  "I see." Russell nodded.
  Caston looked between them, his eyebrows slowly pushing together. "Ahh, yes. Mhm. Right."
  "He's clueless, isn't he?" Russell gently laughed.
  "Totally." Malachi nodded.
  "Alright, just ask me to leave instead of dropping hints." Caston lifted his hands and walk over to the freezer. "Does everyone complain about Caston's mind? Yes. Does anyone explain things to him to help him understand better? No, why would anyone do something so silly?" Caston grabbed a blue popsicle and slammed the freezer shut, then shuffled into the guest room.
  He cut off the tip of the popsicle plastic with scissors, then sat on the edge of the bed, silently pushing the blue ice into his mouth over time.
  He only had an inch or so left by the time Malachi walked into the room. He didn't say anything to Caston at first, making him wonder if he did or said something he wasn't aware of again.
  Malachi grabbed one of his bags from the floor and tossed in the few things that had accumulated around the room.
  "The fuck are you doing?" Caston asked, pulling the popsicle plastic out of his mouth and turning on the bed to face Malachi.
  "I just think it's better if we..stay at a hotel. I don't want to jeopardize my relationship with Hunter any more than I already have." Malachi said, picking up his bag and sitting it next to the others on the bed.
  "So we're changing our plans just because your brother was butt-hurt about you sticking your tongue down my throat?" Caston pushed the remaining ice up the piece of plastic and into his mouth.
  "It's more than that. It's weird for us to..do whatever we do and just pretend like Hunter never had a thing for you."
  "It's not like we dated or were in love or some shit."
  "I know that, Caston, but you still had something, no matter how fucked up it was. I think it's best for everyone, especially Hunter, if we stay somewhere else. My dad thinks so too and he knows my brother more than anyone." Malachi zipped up his bag. "You have to make sacrifices in relationships, Caston. Especially family ones."
  "Ew. Glad I don't have siblings." Caston tossed his popsicle trash into the bin.
  "Get your stuff. Hopefully we can find a place and check in today."
  "It's LA, aren't there like a bajillion hotels?" Caston asked as he grabbed his bags from their place beneath the window next to the desk.
  "Yeah, but I highly doubt there are many vacancies on New Years eve."
  "It's new years eve?"
  "Cas, I swear. Do you not own a fucking calendar?"
  "What's it gonna do for me?" Caston shrugged.
  "Help you keep track of the fucking time? How do you live not knowing what day it is?"
  "Freely."
  Malachi rolled his eyes. "Just grab your shit so we can go."