Hedon

Hedon - Chapter 20

  Caston was less than thrilled when he was woken up by not only his dad, but Miss Jameson.
  He felt Malachi move next to him and then felt him tug the comforter up quickly.
  "Mom, what the hell!?" Malachi's voice was groggy but alert.
  "Honey, it's almost ten thirty. You two need to get up. Your flight leaves at two."
  "Okay. Did you both have to come in here, though?" Malachi sighed and seemed to fully sit up.
  "I'm sorry to intrude. I just didn't believe that Caston was still here. Your mom insisted that he stayed over, but..I've never known him to do that...after..so I had to see."
  "Yeah, Cassie's a real gentleman with me."
  "I can hear you both. Shut up." Caston mumbled against his pillow, not moving an inch.
  Malachi chuckled gently. "He's also a real bitch in the morning."
  "That I know of." Jeremy laughed lightly.
  Their parents left after a few more words and Caston fully expected Malachi to lay back down, but instead he felt a hand on his bare back.
  "Cassie, we really do need to get up. You haven't even started packing yet."
  "I just need a handful of clothes and my motorcycle. It'll take me two minutes." Caston said, still keeping his face against the pillow.
  Malachi's thumb was gently moving back and forth between Caston's shoulder blades. Caston rolled over, still unable to keep his eyes open. He felt Malachi's fingers brush against his forehead, moving the hair off of his eyes.
  Caston smacked his hand away. "Stop that."
  Malachi traced his fingers down Caston's neck and around his chest. "You know you can't bring your motorcycle, right?"
  "Okay then it'll take me one minute."
  Malachi smacked his hand against Caston's forehead repeatedly. "Are you fevered!? Are you dying? You're not gonna throw a tantrum?"
  "I'm gonna if you don't stop treating me like a fucking baby."
  "I can't help that I want to touch you all the time." Malachi said, looking down at Caston.
  "You're doing it in all the wrong places and in all the wrong ways." Caston laid his arm over his eyes and sighed. "Can I really not bring my motorcycle?"
  "There he is."
  "We're going to a huge ass city, Mal. There's space and roads and everything. The perfect place for driving around."
  "Okay and how are you going to get it through customs and onto a fucking plane?"
  "You have a truck." Caston said, his arm still over his eyes.
  "Cas, that would be like a two day drive. Get fucking real."
  Caston sighed and moved his arm, looking up at Malachi. "I'm not leaving my motorcycle here."
  "You left it at school to fuck me goodbye." Malachi smirked, leaning down to hover his face over Caston's.
  Caston jerked his head forward, making his forehead collide with Malachi's nose.
  "Ow! Fuck, Cas!" Malachi fell backwards next to Caston and clutched his nose.
  "That's what you get for being all soft at me. I don't like it."
  "Says the guy who has told me on numerous occasions that I make him feel things that no one else has. That's soft."
  Caston slowly rolled out of the bed and picked his underwear up off of the floor. "I was lying."
  Malachi sat up, leaning his back against the headboard. "The night that you first came to me covered in blood, why did you tell me that I made you feel things?"
  Caston shrugged and pulled his shirt over his head. "Because I needed your help. Why would you help a guy who doesn't feel anything? Why would you stick around if you knew that I really don't feel a thing for you or anyone? I needed you to think that I was different. I look out for myself, Malachi. Not anyone else. You wouldn't have helped me if I calmly said hey, Malachi, I just murdered someone for fun and I could use your hot body and your truck to dispose of the corpse. I had to lie. I've always had to lie."
  Malachi stared at him for a second, the silence making Caston want to leave.
  "I...I think I would've still helped you."
  "Yeah, now that I've fucked you up."
  "No." Malachi shook his head gently. "I've always felt safe with you. There's this aura of calmness around you that makes me feel relaxed and completely at ease. Since the day I met you, I've known that. I just didn't fall into it like I do now."
  "Okay. So no tantrum, then?" Caston held his hand out gently as he spoke.
  Malachi chuckled and rolled his eyes. "No. But speaking of tantrums...I realized that you said you went to Maine. Isn't that where you were born?"
  "Yeah, so?" Caston shrugged.
  "Why'd you go there of all places? Were you feeling sentimental?" Malachi gave Caston a look that reminded him a lot of Miss Jameson.
  "I wanted far. It was far. Wanted to see if I could get away with two murders in the same place." Caston flicked a finger gun at Malachi, "Success."
  Malachi gently rolled his eyes and then got out of bed and started to change.
  "If you think that there's more to me, that there's some deep repressed feelings that just need a little help, you're wasting your time. If you think that being around you will wear me down and make me some softer version of myself, then you'll be disappointed if you stick around." Caston said, pushing his hands into his jacket pockets.
  "I know. I don't."
  "Then why do you keep asking me about feelings and shit?"
  "Because I'm confused, Caston. I would like some clarity before I commit to a life of crime and emotionless sex with you. I'm not asking if you feel things or if you ever will; I'm simply asking why you say you do. I'm not someone that you have to lie to. I think we're at a point where we can trust each other. Regardless of love or feelings or whatever, I don't expect you to change. I don't see this thing that needs to be fixed. I just see you. You're perfectly fine the way that you are. Everyone else sees you has this self-protective ball of repressed feelings, but I know that you're not. I know you feel nothing and while sometimes that sucks, I'm trying not to care because you're here. And that's all that matters. You trust me with your fucking crimes. Trust me enough to let me see who you really are. I don't want to be next to someone that I know isn't real. I don't want the illogical side of me to get a sliver of hope because of a lie. I want to be next to the authentic Caston. Because that's who I love and that's who I feel safe with."
  Caston felt his body relax with every word that left Malachi's mouth. His over-practiced I'm listening face fell into a neutral expression and he simply nodded. "Okay."
  Malachi's mouth gently turned up into a smile and he quickly finished getting dressed. "I think it would make a lot of sense for us to take my truck because we can't rent a car when we get there and I'm not driving around with strangers."
  "You say that like they're the threat. You're walking with one on your arm."
  "I know that. I just mean vibe wise. I don't want outsiders. Especially other drivers. I prefer to drive myself." Malachi said simply.
  "Okay. I think I'll leave my motorcycle, though. I don't trust LA with it."
  "Wow..from crying about having to leave it to offering to leave it behind? You've grown so much, Cassie." Malachi said.
  Caston descended the stairs first, Malachi following behind with his suitcase and his keys jangling in his hand. He put his boots on and stood by the door as Malachi walked over to his mom.
  "Hey, I think we're gonna drive down instead of fly." Malachi said.
  Miss Jameson furrowed her eyebrows slightly. "Are you sure? You know how long of a drive that is, right?"
  "Yes, I know. We'll stop and stay once or twice. I just don't really wanna fly. And I'm not old enough to rent a car, so I think it makes more sense." Malachi explained.
  "Okay, I mean, if you're sure."
  Malachi nodded.
  "Is Caston making you do it so he can take his motorcycle?" Mr. Hill raised a brow.
  Malachi chuckled and shook his head. "No, I offered to drive. He's actually not taking it."
  "I'm right here. Stop talking about me."
  Malachi turned and gave Caston a pretty smile, then turned back to their parents. "We should leave now. Love you."
  Malachi's mom stood to give him a hug, and Caston took his hand out of his pocket to give his dad a two-fingered salute. "Bye."