Hedon

Hedon - Chapter 21

  The first overnight stop was a motel somewhere in Nebraska. Both boys were visibly tired, but Caston somehow never seemed to show it.
  Malachi threw himself onto the bed the second they entered their room, sighing loudly and closing his eyes.
  "What are you doing?" Caston asked, standing in front of the TV.
  "I just drove over ten hours, Cas. I'm tired." Malachi said, not opening his eyes.
  "Oh." Caston put his hands in his pockets, looked down at the carpet, then back up to Malachi. "So you're gonna sleep?"
  "It's like eight thirty. Yes, I'm going to sleep."
  "Like right now? You're not even gonna change first? Brush your teeth?"
  "For fuck's sake, Cas. I need five seconds. I was just crammed in a car with your restless ass for almost twelve hours. I just need a minute." Malachi exhaled.
  "Do you need five seconds or a minute? They're both very different."
  Malachi leaned his head up and glared at Caston with tired eyes. "Are you fucking serious?"
  Caston lifted his hands slowly. "So-rry. Just asking."
  "You just ask a lot of things." Malachi said, finally standing up from the bed.
  "I can't help that I was born with an unquenchable curiosity for the unknown."
  "That's a really fancy way to say that you don't know what's going on half of the time because you stopped being taught human emotions and critical thinking skills when you were five."
  "You're mean when you're tired."
  "It was a fact, Caston. Facts aren't mean. I didn't say it to you with attitude. As you like to say; it was an observation." Malachi re-emerged from the small bathroom with his toothbrush in his hand.
  "You say I'm mean all the time when I state facts, though."
  "Cas," Malachi pulled the toothbrush out of his mouth and held toothpaste in his mouth as he spoke. "Saying that baby looks like it fell out of the stroller one too many times is not a fact. It's an opinion, and most people would find it rude and offensive."
  "Okay, well...whatever, I don't care enough to have this conversation." Caston waved his hand.
  He grabbed the TV remote and turned on the staticky box, then sat on the end of the bed.
  Malachi's brief disappearance was accompanied by spitting sounds and running water. He walked back into the room without a shirt, which made Caston's eyes immediately go from the TV to his bare torso.
  "I want to make good timing tomorrow. I'd like this trip to be as short as possible, so the earlier we get up, the longer we can drive." Malachi said, ruffling through his backpack and pulling out a pair of underwear and sweatpants.
  "Okay? Why are you telling me like I'd be the one to make us late?"
  "I'm just making sure we're on the same page. And you're not exactly a pleasure to get up in the morning." Malachi said, walking into the bathroom again and turning on the shower.
  "Wake me up with sex and I'll be the nicest person you've ever met."
  "I doubt you'd be the nicest, but I believe that it'd make you more tolerable." Malachi chuckled.
  "Tolerable? Your love has turned to toleration already?"
  "Cassie, in the morning, I don't love anyone but caffeine and my bed. A bitchy boy who bites my head off and threatens to kill me is no exception."
  Caston dismissed the conversation with silence, flicking through a few more channels and glancing over to Malachi when he got undressed and stopped in front of the bathroom door, looking over his shoulder.
  "Wanna join me? It'll be faster."
  "Um..."
  The invitation was tempting. Malachi looking over his shoulder, his tan lines exposed and his muscles flexing with his elegant pose. Only Caston realized just now that he's never showered with someone else before. He's definitely thought about it many times, but he's never done it.
  "I've never showered with someone else before."
  Malachi's eyes widened. "What? You, Caston Nathanael Hill, have never showered with another person. Ever?"
  "No. Why you making me feel so weird about it?"
  "You pride yourself in all of your hookups and you mean to tell me not one of them ventured into the shower?" Malachi crossed his arms, seeming to forget or just not care that he was standing completely naked.
  "I mean..closest I've got was at camp when I hooked up with James and that other kid, but we didn't shower together. We just met up there." Caston shrugged.
  "Not much about you surprises me anymore, but this...this does."
  "Why are you taunting me? Like you've done it." Caston rolled his eyes.
  "I have."
  "Oh. When?"
  "I've had girlfriends, Cas. Girlfriends like to shower with their partners."
  "Well, there you have it. I've never had a girlfriend or a partner. I don't even spend the night with people. I just fuck and leave. Never been presented with the opportunity."
  "Here's your opportunity. If you want it."
  Caston made a face. "I don't know. It seems kind of...intimate."
  "Says the guy who fucked me goodbye. Come on, you have no choice." Malachi walked over and grabbed Caston's wrist, pulling him up off of the bed.
  "Not even gonna let me decide? Fuck, you're strong." Caston froze in place inches away from Malachi. "We're here, you can let go now."
  Malachi released Caston's wrist, slid his hands up Caston's arms, and pushed his jacket off of his shoulders. Caston shrugged it the rest of the way off and let it fall on the floor.
  Malachi then put his hands on Caston's waist, grabbing the hem of his t-shirt. As he gently lifted it up, Caston raised his arms above his head. Malachi reached down and gently undid his belt, then the buttons on his jeans.
  Caston stepped out of them, then kicked them out of the bathroom door, along with his underwear.
  Just like every other time he saw Malachi dripping with water, Caston was mesmerized. He watched the droplets cascade down Malachi's neck, over his collarbones, and past the horizontal lines he carved into his skin. They were now soft tan scars.
  Before he could think about what he was doing, Caston lifted his hand and gently traced the lines with his fingertips.
  He saw Malachi's lips curve into a smile in his peripheral.
  "Did it hurt?" Caston asked, watching his fingers move back and forth along the marks.
  "Yeah." Malachi's hands had found Caston's waist. "But in a good way."
  Caston looked up to him and felt his head tilt ever so slightly. "What's the difference?"
  Malachi's pretty smile had faltered. It almost widened a bit at Caston's question. "When you hurt other people, I'm sure it hurts them in a bad way. When...when you left me..that hurt me in a bad way. But..with this.." Malachi lifted his hand to gently touch the other side. "You were with me. It felt good because..it was you. I was with you. I knew you liked it, so I liked it."
  Caston nodded. He felt like he didn't need to say anything else, so he didn't.
  Malachi moved them around so Caston was under the water. Once his dark hair was dripping, Malachi tilted his head back and started massaging his scalp. Considering he could now smell something rather pleasant, Caston assumed there was shampoo in his hands.
  He was surprised when he didn't get shampoo in his eyes, then again, he hadn't opened them since Malachi's hands touched him. Once his hair was conditioned and rinsed out, Malachi reached around him to grab the unopened bar of soap.
  Caston never liked watching movies where the characters used the bar straight on their skin, but he couldn't deny that he liked the way it felt. The soap glided smoothly against his skin, along with Malachi's fingers.
  He turned and let the water rinse his back off, giving him no choice but to look at Malachi.
  Malachi reached forward and pushed Caston's hair back and out of his face. His hands lingered on the sides of Caston's face and he wondered if anyone's ever looked at him this way before.
  Caston pushed Malachi's hands away and grabbed the bar of soap from the small shelf, then turned Malachi around by his shoulders. He watched the bubbles build up on Malachi's skin and spread them around, a white lather slowly covering his back and shoulders.
  Malachi turned without him even doing anything and Caston silently moved the soap in circles over Malachi's chest, stomach, and arms.
  "I'm leaving now. You can wash your own hair."  Caston said, pulling the curtain back and stepping out of the shower.
  He grabbed 2 towels and walked out to the room so he had more room to dry off. Once his body was dry enough, he found a clean pair of underwear and a t-shirt in his backpack.
  "I think that's the longest you've ever let me touch you like that." Malachi's words were gentle like always but Caston felt like his stomach was about to fall out of his ass.
  "Well I hope you cherished it because that's the last time it's ever happening." Caston said, drying his hair roughly with the smaller towel.
  "Right. Because you just hated it so much." Malachi smiled, tugging his sweatpants on.
  "You don't know my thoughts on it."
  "I know that you didn't leave or back away from me. I may not know your thoughts on it, but I at least know you you didn't hate it." Malachi said, moving his stuff off of the bed, then climbing under the comforter.
  Caston zipped up his backpack and tossed it onto the chair in the corner of the room. He grabbed his phone from the dresser and laid down next to Malachi, scrolling mindlessly.
  It didn't take long for Malachi to stop moving and fill the room with quiet, even breaths.
  Caston glanced over to him, then back to his phone, where his thumb was frozen in front of the screen. He stared at it blankly until the screen timed out, then let it fall on his stomach.
  He slowly got out of bed and walked over to his backpack, grabbing cash from the front pocket.
  His socked feet and the carpet made a good pair, as his exit from the room was silent. He slowly and very carefully closed the door, succeeding in not making any noise as he did so.
  He rubbed the bills together between his fingers as he walked down the hallway to the vending machine. His eyes scanned the contents, carelessly flicking over the chocolate and chips and landing on the sour patch kids.
  He punched in the number and put a few dollars in, then stared at the machine expectantly. The rings twitched around the bag, but didn't move any further.
  Caston glared at the machine, then smacked it with his hand. He sighed loudly and smacked the side this time, repeating the action continually.
  "Sour patch?"
  Caston looked to the right, where a guy stood with a couple of things. As his body language shifted, Caston assumed his face held a less than pleasant expression.
  "I heard the banging and assumed." The stranger lifted a small bag. "I had to have maintenance get mine. You can have them if you want, I got other stuff."
  Caston looked from the stranger's face down to the bag in his hand, then back up to his face. "Why?"
  "Because I think maintenance is out for the night and you already put money in. I don't even like them all that much anyway."
  "Why would you get them if you don't really like them that much?" Caston asked.
  "I wanted variety and it's the only sour thing in there. You can take them. I didn't open them." He said, still holding the bag out and pushing it towards Caston slightly.
  Caston reached out and took it hesitantly. "You don't want like your money back or anything?"
  "Nah." The stranger smiled. "Seeing a cute stranger in his underwear and a t-shirt is enough payment for me."
  "That's creepy."
  "Calling you cute and noticing your lack of pants is creepy?"
  Caston ripped open the bag of sour patch kids and put a blue one in his mouth. He chewed the candy and raised his eyebrows as a response.
  "Ever think that you're the creepy one for leaving your room without pants on?"
  Caston continued chewing and smacked his lips. "No."
  "You just gonna stand there and eat your little candy people?"
  "Better than eating real people."
  "I mean are you not gonna go back to your room?"
  "Are you?" Caston picked out another blue one and chewed it up loudly.
  "Not if you aren't."
  Caston chuckled and looked into the open bag of candy, then up to the stranger. "That's not very wise on your part. Cause I ate all the blue ones and...now I'm bored."
  "You don't eat the other ones?"
  "I only like the blue ones."
  "Then give the rest to me. I don't want them to go to waste." The stranger stepped forward.
  "Who says they'll go to waste?"
  "What? You gonna give them to your dog?"
  "Malachi."
  "You shouldn't give dogs candy."
  "Then it's a good thing Malachi is a person." Caston deadpanned.
  The stranger chuckled. "My mistake."
  "Why are we still interacting with each other in this hallway?" Caston sighed.
  "Is that your way of saying you want to interact somewhere else?"
  Caston shrugged.
  "We can..go to my room? It's just down there." The stranger pointed behind him.
  "You by yourself?" Caston asked, looking in the direction he pointed.
  The stranger nodded. "You?"
  "I'm by myself right now."
  "You with that Malachi person?" The stranger chuckled.
  Caston nodded. "He's asleep."
  "Then we better go to my room, huh?"
  Caston followed the stranger down the small hallway, just now realizing they hadn't exchanged so much as their names since meeting. He figured as long as the guy didn't bring it up, it wasn't necessary.
  The room the stranger was staying in was almost a carbon copy of Caston and Malachi's room, only the set-up was reverse.
  A clean space seemed less important to him than it was to Malachi, as there were clothes on the bed and an open suitcase spilling onto the floor beneath the window.
  "So..." Caston eyed the room with disgust. "What do you want to do?"
  "You tell me."
  "I could...but I'm afraid you'll run." Caston felt his mouth twitch upwards.
  The stranger exhaled a gentle laugh. "Yeah? What makes you say that?"
  Caston pulled his eyes away from the carpet and looked at the stranger through his eyelashes.  "Experience."
  "You're just a Shakespeare character, aren't you?" The stranger still seemed embittered by Caston's change in mood and tone of voice.
  "I prefer Poe."
  "Of course you do."
  "You know, you're kinda stupid." Caston said, taking a few steps across the carpet.
  "Excuse me?"
  "You just invited a stranger into your room and said that you were by yourself. That's stupid." Caston said simply.
  "You're not a complete stranger. We bonded over sour patch kids and the fact that you have no pants on. I think if you were a threat, I would've sensed it by now." The stranger chuckled lightly.
  "Kinda wish I put my pants on. My pocket knife is in there." Caston said, running his fingers along the top of the dresser.
  "Why do you need a pocket knife?"
  "Gosh, you really are stupid, aren't you? You couldn't sense a threat if it fucked you in the ass." Caston rolled his eyes. "The world really won't miss you."
  "Are you trying to like assert dominance to show me that I shouldn't mess with you? Cause I'm not going to. I don't exactly want criminal charges on my record, nor do I have a desire to like..commit them."
  Caston clicked his tongue and slowly stepped closer to the stranger. "See, that's where you and I differ."
  "You want criminal charges?"
  "For fuck's sake, you airhead. I want to kill you. I'm going to kill you. Just gotta find out how."
  "Oh." The stranger's expression finally changed from clueless to scared, but he didn't back away or scream or reach for something like Caston thought he would. "So um...what's your name? I can't be like stranger whose name I don't know, please don't kill me. That's too much."
  "Caston."
  "That's definitely more Poe than Shakespeare." He had started to shift around and his face looked different. "I'm Will. Well, William, but you know...everyone calls me Will."
  "You're ranting, William."
  "I'm nervous. I mean you just threatened to kill me."
  "Not threatened. Promised."
  "Right. Right. Is this like some freaky role play thing? Because..I'm cool with it just like...if it's..if that's what it is, you know."
  Caston smiled. "It is. Got you."
  William's shoulders relaxed and he laughed. "Good fuck. My heart was giving Usain Bolt a run for his money, damn."
  "Told you you're stupid." Caston said, stepping closer to him.
  "Yeah, you're right. I'm just already on edge because I'm like on this trip and it's the first I've taken by myself, so I'm like expecting everything to go wrong. I'm just just jumping busses and trains and I'm new to this so I think I'm a target because that's what all the true crime stories say-"
  "You talk too much."
  "You better shut me up, then because I won't stop talking unless you make me."
  Caston raised his eyebrows and felt a smirk tugging on his lips again. He closed the remaining distance between them and clasped his hands around William's neck, pushing his back against the wall.
  "Not- not what I meant. You can st-stop now...fuck...please Cassie."
  Caston clenched his jaw and squeezed harder around his neck. "Don't call me..Cassie."
  Williams face was turning red and his back slowly slid down the wall with time.
  Caston kept his hands around his neck and straddled his stomach once he was on the floor. He missed the presence of blood and wished he had his boots on so he could give his arms a break. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't move. His arms were growing numb and the tingling in his fingers was subsiding.
  William's eyes had closed, but Caston still saw him breathing. His mind replayed the memory of the puppy dying in his grasp over and over again, and on the fifth replay, he figured it had been long enough.
  Caston released William's neck, seeing the prints his hands left behind. He stared intently at the stranger beneath him, not sensing any breaths or movement.
  He sighed and glanced down at his hands, flipping them over a few times. He looked back to the stranger and felt nothing but the gentle, fading ache in his arms.
  Caston turned to look at the clock on the nightstand for the time, but the flashing red number indicated that it was probably wrong.
  He sighed again and stood up, staring down at the stranger for a few more seconds. He poked William's chest with his socked foot, not getting any response.
  Caston nodded, then slipped out of the room and walked back down the hallway. He opened the door to his and Malachi's room, not even trying to be quiet this time. It didn't seem to matter, as Malachi was still sound asleep.
  He shuffled over to the bed and shook Malachi gently. "Mal. Malachi."
  He sighed and shook the boy a bit more. "Malachi, get the fuck up right now."
  Malachi took a deep breath and rolled onto his back, groaning gently. "What, Cassie?"
  "Malachi, you need to get up right now." Caston said, his voice firm.
  Malachi opened his eyes and let out another breath. "Caston, what the fuck did you do?"
  "I just wanted some sour patch kids."
  "For fuck's sake, Cas." Malachi sighed and sat up, rubbing his face. "Where?"
  "Just down the hall. He's in his room. He's alone so it's fine."
  "Yeah, it's just peachy, Cas. What the fuck are we supposed to do? I don't have a route. I don't know this place. How are we going to get away with it this time?" Malachi stressed.
  "I don't know. I didn't think about that."
  "Of course you didn't." Malachi threw the blanket off of him and stood up. "You're lucky we're leaving this fucking place. Fuck, Cas. Have you no self control?"
  "Have you know me?"
  "What?" Malachi looked over to him, a dumbfounded expression on his face as a gentle, half laugh passed his lips.
  "You spoke weird, so I did too." Caston shrugged.
  "Put some fucking clothes on and get all your stuff together because the second we figure this out, we're out of here, understand?" Malachi said quickly as he slipped his shoes on.
  Caston nodded. "I'm sorry."
  Malachi put his foot on the ground and looked over to Caston slowly. "What?"
  "Usually I don't mean for it to happen at first, it just takes over, but I just..did it because and I didn't think about the situation, so...I'm sorry." Caston said, flicking his eyes to the carpet, then back up to Malachi.
  "I...I shouldn't find this as cute as I do. What the fuck?"
  "It's the no pants, isn't it?"
  "Yes. Put pants on. Now." Malachi exhaled, turning away from him.
  Caston chuckled and put his jeans on, then shoved whatever he had out back into his backpack.
  When he turned to face Malachi, the boy was standing right in front of him. He grabbed the sides of Caston's face and kissed him roughly, then pushed Caston away.
  "Okay, let's go."