All I have ever wanted was to be understood.
for someone to understand how deep I love,
for someone to love me back as hard as I do.
Because of my past, I seek out those I can fix,
or at least can try to fix.
By fix I don't mean change,
I mean to direct down the right path.
Those who don't know how to love, because I would like to teach them.
But this always gets me hurt,
because I am as sensitive as an egg in a carton or a glass house.
The windows in my house have been broken countless times over, and so I try to repair them.
But, the cracks never really disappear.
I cover them with flimsy tape and go on with my life, the cold wind still seeps in through the holes.
I just want a protector, someone to keep me safe from the outside world.
I crave what a child wants, to feel comfort.
to be held and told everything will be alright.
But nothing really is ever alright, as I have learned over the years.
There is always some sort of obstacle keeping me from my goals.
My lack of motivation, although I know that I can do great things.
The gifted child who burnt out, it's written all over me.
I am labeled as the genius who never tries.
No rubbing alcohol can remove my label.
It feels permanent.
I feel as if I will never fit in anywhere,
I float from friend to friend,
group to group,
but something always happens to tear us apart.
I try so hard to please other people, but oh I can be so stupid.
I feel like a bowl with holes at the bottom trying to be filled up, and the water always escapes.
