I just want to be normal,
but I feel like a puzzle piece that doesn't fit.
I watch others carefully to see how they act.
I overthink my every action.
I have to plan out every word.
I feel like an alien sent to study earth.
I feel like a malfunctioning robot,
who is trying to understand human emotion.
Cursed to feel too much but not understand how to feel.
I feel like an actor with human flesh.
I feel like the one m&m with no text.
I feel like a dollar bill with a misprint.
I feel like the stuffed animal left behind.
I feel behind.
I feel ahead, but I fall behind.
I fear I will never be normal,
that I will always be different.
Although I am different in some good ways,
I am also different in some bad ways.
I feel as though not one person can completely understand me.
I feel like no matter how hard I try it will never be enough.
I will always be looked at like an animal in zoo.
I will always weird people out.
Some days I appreciate my weirdness.
Some days it is a curse that drags me down.
I wish I wasn't so sick.
Sick in the head.
Sick in the body.
I'm sick of it all.
I'm tired of being tired.
I'm tired of the never ending thoughts.
My brain is train wreck after train wreck,
but yet the train keeps going.
I am tired of not being able to sleep.
I am tired of feeling off.
I am tired of fighting so hard.
I will always be in the middle,
or not on the path at all.
Not even heaven or hell could decide where I could go.
I am too evil for heaven.
I am too good for hell.
I am too human to be an alien.
I am too strange to be a human.
What is normal?
I'll never know, it is not me.
I feel it when I walk in a room,
the eyes all over me.
The eyes that aren't on me.
I know they know.
Why do they get it?
Do they even get it?
Are we all faking?
Does anyone know who they are?
Is anyone normal?
I hear their laughter.
I hear their voices.
I know they laugh at me.
I will forever be painted,
the clown in disguise.
