When All We Have Is Peace

Bellamy

Bellamy sighed for what must have been the millionth time that hour and rubbed his tired eyes. Once again he found himself staring at the drawing of himself. The picture had worked a new hole in his heart, and it throbbed each time Bellamy looked at the paper, yet he couldn't bring himself to close the sketch book and put it away. He wished he could put it far away and erase it all from his mind. Bellamy felt the hatred thrumming through his veins as his thoughts strayed back to Clarke as they always did; ever since she left him. He hated her for leaving, hated her for not taking him with her...hated her for not caring. The hatred was always accompanied by guilt, because he knew that he was being selfish, Clarke had needed to leave them. She was broken, perhaps beyond repair, and staying with her people- with him- would have only shattered her more. The pieces had almost been tangible when she'd hugged him goodbye, sharp and angry pieces. Her eyes had held an emptiness that still haunted his nightmares. And there was nothing he could have done to make it any better; he couldn't save her.

"Bel?" Octavia wondered, poking her head into Clarke's tent.

Bellamy glanced up at his sister, taking in the dark circles under her eyes; he wasn't the only one not sleeping these days. "Everything okay?"

"Lincoln said that one of the Grounder scouts spotted Clarke heading towards the ocean yesterday. I figured you'd want to know." Octavia said softly.

"Did they say anything else?" He asked, feeling his heart speed up.

Octavia shook her head. "Just that she is on her way to the sea. She isn't moving very fast... We could meet her there if you want."

"She wouldn't want that." Bellamy whispered, resting his head in his hands.

A small hand fell on his shoulder, and he felt Octavia standing in front of him. "It doesn't matter what she wants anymore."

"She needs to put herself back together, we can't help her do that. Clarke doesn't want our help." He muttered, feeling helpless.

"She needs us Bellamy. Clarke can't do this on her own."

Bellamy drew in a deep breath and met his sisters eyes. Octavia was right, of course she was. Clarke needed them, she needed her family. "We leave tomorrow."

Octavia offered him one of her rare smiles before ducking out of the tent, leaving Bellamy alone in Clarke's little tent.