Bellamy

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"So tell me again, why are we going to the ocean? The mission was to find Clarke." Bellamy grumbled, falling into step beside Lincoln.

The Grounder man's lips twitched up into an amused smile and he cast a sideways glance at Bellamy. "They want to see it. And neither of us have the ability to deny them their wishes."

Bellamy scowled and adjusted the gun at his side. His eyes drifted to Clarke, where she was walking a few steps ahead of him. Her fists were clenched at her sides, and he couldn't help but notice the nervous hesitation in her step. The slightest sound had her head whipping in every direction, looking for any signs of danger. He took in the way her shoulders were slumped in defeat, yet tensed.... as if there were a crushing weight on them. It hurt to look at her.

"We're close! Can you smell the salt Bel?" Octavia beamed several hours later.

The smile on her face made Bellamy chuckle; it had been so long since he'd seen that child like wonder in her. She looked so excited and it filled him with peace. "It smells great, O."

He watched his little sister stretch up on her toes and plant a kiss on Lincoln's cheek. "I'll race you." She grinned. The two of them took of running, leaving Bellamy alone with Clarke. She kept walking, not looking back to see if he was coming...she always used to look back. Bellamy stayed a few paces behind her, telling himself it was because he didn't want to walk beside her, not because he wanted to watch her back.

In the distance, he could hear Octavia's laughter, and the sound caused him to walk a bit faster until he and Clarke were side by side. Bellamy noticed how she seemed to relax a little, but the blankness didn't leave her pale face until they passed the tree line and the ocean was in front of them. Clarke's blue eyes widened and her lips parted as she drew in a breath. Bellamy wanted to see what she was seeing, but he couldn't bring himself to look away from the girl standing next to him. He was broken out of his trance when she began to make her way to the water, and Bellamy took in the scenery. The ocean was beautiful, breath taking. They had been right to come, he only wished the rest of their people could see it too.

"Clarke where are you going?" He heard Octavia ask, the concern in her voice making him turn around to face them. Clarke didn't look back as she stumbled into the trees. Bellamy sighed and went after her.

"Hey what are you doing?" He wondered as he followed her.

"I just need a minute." She responded, sagging against a tree.

Bellamy stood in front of her, hands on his hips, studying her. Clarke's hands were shaking and it looked like she was having difficulties breathing. "Clarke, are you okay?" He said gently, crouching down to get a better look at her.

She turned her head away from him and covered her face with her hands. "Just give me a minute."

"You need to tell me what's going on." Clarke's body began to shake, and strange little gasping noises were escaping her mouth. Bellamy reached out and rested his hand on her knee. "Talk to me princess, what's wrong?"

Slowly she turned and looked at him with tear filled eyes. She looked so empty, and it terrified him. "They won't let me be."

"Who?" Bellamy whispered.

"I've said I'm sorry and there's nothing I can do, nothing I could have done but they won't leave." Clarke moaned, closing her eyes. "I killed so many people!"

Bellamy wrapped both of her hands in his and sat down beside her. "Listen to me, you didn't have a choice. There was no other way and you didn't do it alone. We did it together. We saved our people."

"Bellamy...." Clarke managed to choke out before the sobs took over.

"It wasn't your fault." He assured her. "It's going to be okay Clarke, just breath."

Clarke shook her head violently, splattering tears on Bellamy's neck. "I don't want to do this anymore. I can't do it."

Bellamy felt ice trickle down his spine, and he grabbed Clarke by the shoulders and squeezed. "Don't say that. Don't you ever, ever say that! You are a warrior, and warriors don't give up. They fight! Do you understand? You're our leader Clarke, we can't make it without you."

"Bell-"

"No. Tell me you understand." Bellamy demanded, eyes locked on hers.

Clarke stared at him for a while as the tears rolled down her face. Bellamy was about to yell at her again when she sighed. "I understand."

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