When All We Have Is Peace

Clarke

Bellamy's words bounced around in her head for the rest of the journey, as Clarke followed the others back to Camp Jaha. He hadn't been fair in using her words like that, looking at her the way he had...like he really did need her. Clarke remained a few paces behind everyone, careful not to draw attention to herself. The closer they got to camp, the heavier her heart became until it felt like a thousand pound weight was about to crush her chest. She took a few more steps, then came to a halting stop, gulping down air. Clarke could feel Fox standing behind her, could hear the whispering in her ear.  Camp Jaha was just barely visible through the trees, but the sight had Clarke's head spinning, her heart pounding in a broken rhythm making it difficult to breath. It was the rush of air leaving her lungs as her knees hit the ground that caused Bellamy to turn around; she wished he hadn't heard her.

"Clarke?" He said slowly, meeting her eyes.

Clarke looked away quickly, biting her lip until she tasted blood. She drew in several shaky breaths before she was able to speak. "I can't. I thought that maybe I'd be able to do it, but I can't Bellamy."

"Clarke you're being ridiculous! Stop acting like a princess and let's go home please." Octavia snapped irritatedly.

Hearing her old nickname caused Clarke to flinch as her heart thudded painfully. "I'm sorry."

She heard Bellamy sigh and tell his sister to head back to camp with Lincoln, then he knelt down beside her. Much to Clarke's surprise, Bellamy didn't say a word, he simply sat there with her and stared off into the trees. It hurt to look at him, but Clarke did it anyway, taking in his features with tired eyes. He was thinking, probably about how he could convince her to return to camp with him, but from the look in his dark eyes, she knew he realized that he couldn't convince her. It was a step she had to take by herself.

After a long silence, Bellamy pursed his lips and dipped his head, slowly getting to his feet. "Look, I know you're not ready to face them...I get it. You're still trying to get yourself back together, to see something that doesn't make you flinch when you see your reflection, trust me I know what that's like. I know what it does to you, feeling like a monster. And I thought that I would have to face that alone, fight that demon alone...You saw me. I was done, quitting, but you told me that we would figure it out together. You didn't let me go through it alone; I came back home because you said that you needed me."

"I-" Clarke began but Bellamy held up a hand to silence her.

"I'm asking you to come home with me, because I need you. I can't do this without you Clarke and I'm not going to let you suffer and torture yourself. We'll get through this together, like we've done with everything. We're a team." Bellamy ran a hand over his face and drew in a deep breath before looking down at her expectantly.

Clarke wanted to scream at him for manipulating her like that, for using her words against her, yet she couldn't bring herself to do it. He was right, they were a team. She nodded her head and stood up on shaky legs, meeting Bellamy's eyes. "Okay."