When All We Have Is Peace

Clarke

Clarke was lost. She'd been wandering- stumbling really- through the forest for days, and she still hadn't reached the sea. The Grounder elder Gwin had told her that the ocean was a seven day journey from their village; that was nine days ago. Wiping the sweat from her eyes, Clarke took another look at the map Gwin had drawn her, but it didn't help. None of the landmarks were the same, and she hadn't passed a lake in several days. Clarke knew that if she could find a river, it would take her to the ocean, but she was too exhausted to go searching in the thicker trees. Biting her lip to keep from screaming, Clarke decided to keep moving...she didn't want them catching up to her again. She could feel their eyes on her as she walked, burning holes into her skin with their angry stares. Her wound throbbed painfully the more she pushed herself, but Clarke refused to stop, even if the pain made her dizzy. She couldn't stop, she could never stop.

By night fall, Clarke's feet were dragging and her hair was soaked with sweat. They had caught up to her, and she could feel their breath on her neck as she staggered forward. They whispered cruel, angry things in her ear, adding more weight to the universe that rested on her shoulders. Clarke tried her best to block it out, to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other, but their voices were too close and too sharp to ignore. She drew in a shaky breath, lifting her hand to wipe her face, but there was a gun and her finger was on the trigger. Clarke gasped and dropped the gun, taking a few steps back; behind her, they laughed.

"I left my gun at the village." She whispered, shutting her eyes tightly. "It's not real."

"Yet, there it is right in front of you." Dante snickered, coming to stand beside her.

Clarke shook her head. "You're not real. None of you are real!"

There was a chorus of laughs and she felt a hand curl around her wrist. "Then why are we here? We're just as real as you, as that gun." Fox hissed, tightening her grip on Clarke's wrist until it hurt.

"No. It's not real." Clarke whimpered, looking up at the stars.

"Why don't you find out?" Maya wondered, holding the weapon out to Clarke. She hesitated a moment before taking it. Her hands were trembling as she lifted it to her head; tears fell down her cheeks but she didn't take her eyes off of Maya. The other girl just stared back at her with sad eyes.

"You're hesitating Clarke, you didn't hesitate when you shot me." Dante sneered, kneeling in front of her.

Clarke took a sobbing breath. "I'm weak." She spat, hands vibrating. Her eyes drifted to the stars once again, and Clarke exhaled sharply, squeezing the trigger as she did. There was a harsh click, but nothing happened. The air around her seemed still, and there was a heavy silence that threatened to crush her; they were gone and so was the gun. Clarke slowly got to her feet, dragging in deep breathes to keep the sobs at bay. Her face was slick with tears that tasted of salt and dirt. She glanced around, not sure where to go from there, her whole body was trembling violently making it difficult to stay standing. Clarke could hear voices somewhere to her left, and she wanted to scream for them to leave her alone, but screaming never worked and she was far too tired. They were saying her name, drawing nearer, getting louder. Clarke took another step, but her foot snagged on a stump and she fell face first in the dirt.

Hands wrapped around her arms, lifting her to her feet. Clarke frowned in confusion; their hands were never gentle. She turned her head to her right and gasped.

"Lincoln?"

The Grounder offered her a soft, careful smile and nodded. "Yes."

A wave of anxiety washed over Clarke and she struggled to find her voice. "How are you here? You can't be here. It's not real...you're not real!"

"Clarke- hey, stop. Clarke this is real, I'm here." He said gripping her shoulders, eyes locked on hers.

Clarke shook her head violently. "No. No, you can't. You're not here, I'm alone."

Lincoln sighed, studying her more closely. He placed his hand on her forehead and swore under his breath. "You're feverish. Come on, we'll get you back to camp and Octavia can take a look at you."

"Octavia? She's not here." Clarke whispered, head rolling backward. Black spots danced across her vision as she fought to remain conscious.

Lincoln kept moving, guiding Clarke as he walked. "We came looking for you, Bellamy's there too. You'll see them in a minute."

"Don't speak to me like I'm a child." She snapped, stumbling slightly. "Even my own hallucinations think I'm crazy." Clarke muttered, rubbing her heavy eyes. Lincoln made no comment as he lead her over to a fire. Two people were laying next to it, but one of them sat up when they heard Lincoln approaching. Clarke met Octavia's eyes across the fire, and pain blossomed in her chest as she wished that it were real, that Octavia was really there.

The younger girl stood up, shaking the other person's shoulder before wrapping her arms around Clarke. "Thank god." Octavia murmured into Clarke's shirt. Clarke shuddered and hugged her back as the realization sunk in; she wasn't seeing things, they were there.

Octavia let her go after a minute, and stepped back. Clarke attempted to smile but it still felt wrong on her lips so she settled for a quick nod before turning her attention to the third person. He was staring at her with a guarded expression on his face, that made her uneasy. Bellamy approached her slowly, almost like he wasn't convinced that she was real. He stopped once their boots were touching, and she watched his jaw work as he tried to think of something to say. Clarke lowered her head, knowing that she had hurt him by leaving and she didn't deserve anything from him. She reached out her arms but then thought better of it and let them hang at her side; she wouldn't be able to stomach his rejection.

"It's good to see you." Bellamy said after a few seconds of silence. His voice was cold and detached.

Clarke looked up, not meeting his eyes and nodded. "You too."

"Clarke, Lincoln says you have a fever. Can you come over here so I can look at you?" Octavia wondered. Clarke nodded and went and sat down beside her, not looking at Bellamy.