The Psychonet: Apocalyptica

Postmortem

We imagine killing to be an unbearable task. Too gruesome to swallow. For most, that applies even to the vengeful slaughter of one's most despised enemies. Most do not even try to imagine killing those that they love. Why would they?

This. This was an entirely different thing. A beast like no other. The only thing that could be worse than killing your truest love would be if there was no possible return in time. But we were gambling here. We didn't know if the return mechanism would initiate.

Moments after Pandora's death, a sense of thrill emerged. As if I had accomplished the most difficult task imaginable. This was it. I'd overcome the greatest challenge now. At least that's what I thought at that moment. Along with a guilt tax for that thought.

To my relief, the deepest pain I had ever felt consumed me and the void welcomed me home.

Then, it was replaced by radiating heat in front and icy in back, mixed with a lustrous warmth between us. It was the campfire. Everyone else was still asleep, so this time we could continue. And this time we did. Her lips remedied my pains. It hadn't been long, but the time loop felt eternal. The adrenaline made it eternal.

The floodgates wouldn't last. Tears were already leaking down my face, between our lips. Then, it burst.

"Guhya?? What's wrong?" Pandora said.

I saw Archie, spaced out like before. My heart sank. Was it all about to start again? I searched through Pandora's bag, grabbed the knife and prepared. Any second, he would come back for the moment of truth.

"Guhya! Please! What are you doing?!" Pandora yelled in fright.

Arezo had a horrified look on her face, "Please, Guhya... Not again. I can't take it anymore."

Archie's trance ended and I aimed my knife at him. He turned to me, "Huh? What's going on?"

A sense of relief washed over me. But quickly, it was replaced by a flood of pain from the memories of murder. I dropped the blade and fell beside it, laying in fetal position, crying and letting it all out, "It's finally over! I kept returning every 2 minutes. Over and over. Pandora kept dying. Then, I kept killing Archie. Over and over and over! I killed Pax too."

Arezo had tears too, "So... it's finally over."

Pandora rushed to my side and comforted me, her gentle hands on my head, "It's going to be okay."

"This is ruining me," I muttered.

Pandora brushed my hair, "Once we reach the Outside, we will be free."

I hoped that she was right. That this wasn't in vain. I turned to Arezo, "You've been returning too? But how?"

Arezo replied, "I asked you to give me your power as a backup."

"I never did that though. I don't even remember you asking me," I replied, perplexed.

Arezo thought for a moment. "Hm. I must have returned to a time before you gave me the power. It's disorienting."

Pandora asked, "What does this mean? Are we all just drifting in different timelines?"

After hesitating, I replied, "I don't know..."

Gadi stood up and said, "Don't let this crumble your souls. All of you. We are close to the fated exit of this world. Close to the divine Outside. Only two major destinations remain. Cling onto hope for just a while longer. We will prevail."

As cheesy as he was, it was inspiring to see him comfort us like that. He really did see the future, so his confidence wasn't empty.

I rose up from the ground. With pain still in my voice, I said, "Captain. Where to next?"