Not the End

10 - Healing

His looks over to me, I do not expect him to understand. He puts his hand on mine, which were fidgeting on the table.

"I wanted to tell you sooner- I just." 

"I do not care who your family is, or where you came from, I only care about who you are." He lifts my chin to make me look at him. "You are Safi. That is all that matters to me." He says proudly, which melts my heart. Each of his words are like a patch on my broken insides. "I am sorry you felt you couldn't tell me."

"Teyam." I lean forward, laying my head on my arm, every feeling I have been suppressing come to fruition all at once, its so overwhelming I can't even form tears. He 

"I promise it will be okay." He whispers, placing his hand on my back, rubbing his thumb over my skin gently. After a moment I lift my head, I want to say something to explain myself, but all I can do is look at him, he looks right back at me with those kind, amber eyes. How can he look at me the same after everything I just told him? I hid so much from him and his family, who put so much trust in me, and they act like it is no big deal at all. 

"I don't know what I am doing." I whisper, looking at his hand holding mine. 

"Don't worry." He says, his voice low and comforting, he pulls me into him and holds me. I lay my head on his chest again, listening to his heartbeat like it is the only sound in the world. He places a kiss on top of my head, then rests his head on mine. I stiffen suddenly as I come to the realization. 

"Did you tell your parents?" I ask, terrified. 

"I didn't want to tell them without you but I had to explain." He stutters at me.

"Shit!" I stand up, rubbing my face. 

"I'm really sorry-" He stands up and touches my arm again. 

"No, it is not your fault. They are with my family, they cannot know we are together, your parents cannot tell them." I say, tearing up. "Neteyam they cannot know they-" 

"We will go stop them." He says calmly, pulling me towards the enterance. 

"No! We cannot show up together! My whole family is there." I explain. He doesn't even know who my family is. 

"Well." He pauses, letting out a frustrated breath. "You show up right before me, as if we came separately, and I will tell my parents they need to come with me." 

"Oh Eywa help me." I whisper, pulling his hand towards Tsahik. 

"Safi it will be fine." He assures me, but I am not sure of anything. I just pray that Aada is too busy in his own self absorbed world to notice what is happening. 

We get closer to Tsahik, and I pull him to a stop. "My brother is outside the hut, please be careful with him, don't say anything to any of them. Please." He looks so confused, but nods. "I will explain it all later I promise." 

"I will see you in there. And I won't touch you, or even look at you." He says, he is so calm I cannot believe it. I give him a quick, tight hug, looking him in the eyes again. I walk towards Tsahik's tent, heart racing, I pass Aada without looking at him, and enter. 

Jake is talking to Lono, Neytiri is helping Tsahik with something. I try not to meet their gaze as I approach Kata. She is where I left her, stroking Mother's hair. 

"Where did you go?" She asks softly, her brow furrowed. 

"I will tell you later." I whisper, giving her a look that warns her to drop it. "How are you?" I really want her to be honest with me.

"Fine. Eywa will help her." She looks back down at Mother, her coloring looks more normal, still a little dull. "And you?" 

"I do not know." I say under my breath. "I have a lot to catch you up on."