Not the End

9 - Mother

As I sit next to Neteyam, across from me sits the mighty Neytiri, and her husband, Toruk Makto. I feel as though I am on fire, scorching and burning my skin and flesh, blistering even my lungs as I inhale the flames. I cannot begin to think what will come of this conversation.

"Okay son, what is it-" Jake starts to speak when I hear an all to familiar voice in the distance, echoing through the caves. 

"Safi!" My ears twitch back, locating the source. My body stiffens as my sister is calls my name, her voice full of fear, like a poison arrow piercing straight through my sternum into my heart. 

Jake, Neytiri and Neteyam's heads snap to me. I stand and run outside, Kata is running towards me, weaving through people. "Kata?!" I call to her, her face tells me something is wrong, very wrong. After everything we have been through together, I have never seen her looked this scared. 

"Safi?" Neteyam appears next to me, gently touching my arm. I turn to him, I know my face looks horrified, but I can't manage to make it look any different.

"My sister." I say quickly as she comes to a halt in front of me. I hold onto her shoulders, hoping to calm her a little. 

"What is it?" I beg Eywa it is not Aada again. 

"You have to come." She breathlessly utters as she pulls me with her. "Come ON!" She orders, her eyes desperate. 

"Okay." I say, trying to sound reassuring and brave. I look back at Neteyam, he is looking at me with no discernable expression, Jake and Neytiri watching me behind him. I wanted to get out of the situation, but not like this.

My sister brings me to Tsahik, Aada leaning against the hut, head in hands. I didn't think I could feel any worse than I did a few minutes ago, but the feeling in my stomach now is like my soul has been torn out. What has he done now?

"It is mother." Is all Kata whispers as we slow to a walk to enter the hut. Tsahik is working furiously over my mother. All my life, my mother has never fallen ill, yet there she lies, coated in sweat, hyperventilating. Kata pulls me over to Lono, he leans over to me.

"They were arguing again, and she suddenly collapsed, we do not know..." Lono whispers, rubbing his forehead. I approach Tsahik, I am going to help any way I can.

"On her side!" She barks orders at me, I flip my mother on her side, her eyes look barren, she utters something I can't make out, she clutches her chest weakly. Tsahik moves to her back with a quill, pricking down her spine, creating single blood droplets that mix with the sweat and fall drip down to the floor. For what feels like hours, Tsahik shouts words of Eywa, I watch her eyes turn white, she guides Eywa's hand to help my mother. For a long moment I hold my mothers body as it spasms rhythmically, tears forming in my eyes. Tsahik returns to her normal state, hovering her hands over my mother, she lets out a long exhale, closing her eyes. She motions for me to lay her on her back again. My mother's tanhì dim and brighten with each of her breaths as they slow.

"What now?" I whisper up to Mo'at, blinking my tears away. 

"Rui carries much of Eywa's light, she is strong willed. Time will tell." She answers, gathering her materials." I help her reset her hut, unsure of what else to do. Kata kneels at my mothers side, whispering to her. Lono stands watching, I can tell he wants to cry but won't. 

"Safi." Tsahik's voice is so low, I can barely hear her. "Go to my grandson. This will take time, your siblings will be here." I look at Tsahik with confusion, she stares at me with her wise eyes. "You must tell them who you are." She whispers before walking away. How the hell does she know? I close my eyes to gather myself before turning towards my sister. I kneel beside her and put a hand on her head. She turns to me, but the look of fear I saw moments ago is gone, her eyes show strength and anger only. I press my forehead to hers. 

"I will be back." I whisper, she turns back to our mother. I walk to Lono, unsure of how to explain this to him. "Brother, I need to do something, I will be back soon." He nods at me, not taking his eyes off our mother. I march straight past Aada, I need not explain anything to him. I hear him look up at me, but I don't even glance at him. I start to run as soon as I exit the hut, I feel tears forming again, I must be strong, I cannot give that up now. 

I enter the Sully's again, Neteyam is in front of me immediately, Jake and Neytiri watching from the table. "I am so sorry." I whisper, he looks so hurt and confused. I touch his arm and look to his parents. "I need to tell you all who I am." 

"Are you okay?" Neteyam asks, ignoring my last statement. I furrow my brow at his question.

"I am fine." I answer, walking to his parents. He follows right behind me. I hate being the center of attention like this, everything I am about to say will put not only myself, but my entire family on the line.

"Safi, whatever it is-" Neytiri says kindly, but I have to cut her off. 

"No, please." I hate to disrespect her, but whatever she has to say does not apply to this. They all look at me expectantly, full of worry.

"My mother Rui fell ill, she is with Tsahik now. Something happened, I am not certain what. That is where I went." I look at Neteyam who is staring at me intensely, the kindness in his eyes contrast with the anxiety on his face. I take his hand.

"If there is anything we can do," Jake says, pausing, but I interrupt again before he can continue.

"This is not what I came to tell you." Their faces change again. I drop Neteyam's hand to pick at my own. "There is something I have kept from you." I wish I could blurt everything out in one sentence, but it is so complicated. "Um, my father..." I look down at the table. Do not be a coward Safi, look them in their eyes. "My father was not Omatikaya. He was from the Tayrangi people. He met my mother here during the war when he was injured, she nursed him to health, then followed him to his home. I was born there, we moved here after his death." I look Jake and Neytiri in their eyes, I cannot look at Neteyam. Their expressions shifted from worry to compassion? But my mother said if anyone found out it would be a death sentence? "I am deeply sorry for keeping this from all of you for so long. If We cannot stay any longer I understand, if I can never see your children again I-" 

"No, my child." Neytiri says with the sweetest, most caring voice I have ever heard. "Look at the man I am married to." I force myself to look at Jake. "He is not from this planet. But Eywa saw his worth and let him stay, and he became Toruk Makto." I am such a fool.

"My mother said the sentence for crossing clans was death?" 

"Your mother was protecting her children. Some of our people still ridicule us for being half-bred. She did not want that life for you too."

"Your family is not in trouble." Jake says reassuringly, I feel a massive weight lift off my shoulders, I close my eyes and put my head in my hands. I cannot believe for so long- my entire life here, I hid from everyone, hid who I was, for nothing. I am so ignorant I did not even see who I was hiding from. 

"Thank you for telling us." Neytiri says. "We will go see to your mother and family, you are welcome to stay here as long as you need." I lift my head to nod at them, still recovering from the conversation. They exit quietly, I turn to Neteyam who has been silent since we sat down. I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out, I don't even have words to express how I feel. 

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AN: Sorry this is lowkey sad. I hope you enjoyed anyway, let me know what you think. 

As always, thanks for reading <3