You're enough (Neteyam x Ao'nung)

Chapter 7 : Jealousy

I don't know why it hits me so hard to hear him say those words. Why would he even like me? I'm so stupid and ugly, and...

My eyes sink down to my lap as I fiddle with my hands. "Forest boy, what's wrong?" I look up again to meet the eyes of the Metkayina boy. The others are already walking away. "I'm fine" I can feel my voice break and my eyes water, I feel hurt. But why?

I stand up and try to walk away but he grabs my arm to stop me. I turn and see him look at me confused. I shake his hand off without a word and walk away, thank eywa that he does not follow.

I walk into my pod, rushing to my mat. "What is wrong Neteyam?" my mother is sitting on the floor and watches me flag on the mat. "Nothing" I mumble quietly, but I know she heard.

My eyes are closed but I can hear her walking towards me. "Are you sure son?" she asks again and I can feel my tears coming on again. "GO AWAY" I scream at her, not wanting my mother to watch me cry.

I hear her quietly leave the marui so that I can be alone, I can apologize to her later. I shut my eyes tightly and sit in silence, occasianally sniffing. Breath. I try to calm myself, it sort of works, but I can still feel tears rolling down my face.

""Hey bro- oh, should I come back later" Lo'ak stands at the door stupidly. I watch him weigh his options as I look up at him with a tear-streaked face. Me and my brother aren't really that close when it comes to this kind of things. 

"You wanna tell me about it?" he walks over to me and takes  seat in front of me, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Not really" I face down, though my eyes are shut. "It's about Ao'nung, isn't it?" I can feel his eyes burning into the top of my head.

I nod, still looking down and fiddling with my hands. "He hurt you, didn't he?" I nod again in response and I hear him sigh as he shuffles closer to me. "Want me to kick his ass?" I chuckle a bit as I hear him try to lighten the mood.

I look up and see that he is still staring at me. "I'm serious, cause I would gladly if you wanted me to" I laugh again but ultimately shake my head. It's not his fault. "Wanna go swim a bit?" he tries to meet my eyes but I look away. 

"Uh no, you can go though" he looks unsure but I give him a weak smile to convince him. He nods and walks off, still unsure whether this is what I want. I watch him leave until I can't see him anymore, then I sit in silence. 

I should apologize to mother. I walk out as well, making my way through the village to try and find her. I see her in the distance and then run towards her. "Mama? I wanted  to apologize for yelling at you earlier" I stop when I am standing about one and a half meters away from her. 

"It is alright my son" she walks a bit closer and puts a hand on my shoulder. "Do you feel better?" I shake my head, feeling the tears come on again. She pulls me into the crook of her neck and puts her arms around me. "Would you like to eat lunch with us?" she lets go of the hug and nods her head over to my father and Ao'nung's parents. 

I look over and notice that my father is watching me, I immediately straighten my posture and dry the tears on my face. "No mother, that is alright. I am not very hungry" her eyes soften as she looks at me. "My boy, be nicer to yourself" she pushes some braids out of my face and then smiles before walking over to my father and Ao'nung's parents. 

I walk back to my marui and flag onto the mat with a grunt. "tsawl tsmukan! (big brother!) why are you sitting alone?" Tuk skips into the marui with a smile. "Kaltxí ma Tanhí (Hello my star)" she jumps into my arms and I hold on to her tightly. "Lo'ak said you were sad! So I came to make you happy!" I smile lightly at her comment as she lets go of the hug. 

"Well, I already feel better!" I lie, to my little sister no less. "Yay! can you make lunch for me?" I laugh a little at this request but nod. "Do you want me to go hunt some fish for you? we don't have any here" she nods and stands up. "Can I come with you?" she follows me as I grab a spear from the rack.

"Okay, but only if you are careful!" I pick her up and start walking towards one of the decks so that I can dive into the water. "Hey Neteyam" I hear his voice from behind me. Pretending I didn't hear, I dive into the water with Tuk under my arm. Halfway to the rocks, I feel Tuk tapping my collar bone, to show me I need air. 

I swim up to the surface as fast as I can so that she can take a breath. "Are we almost there?" she complains and I laugh. "Do you want me to leave you here while I get a fish?" she nods in response and I dive back down to quickly go and get a fish. Once I have caught a fish I swim back over to Tuk who is swimming in circles. 

"And what do we do after we hunt?" I ask her and she thinks for a second before answering. "Thank eywa for the food!" I nod and watch her thank as I did underwater. I signal for her to grab onto my back, so that we can swim back to the shore. "should we get some spices for the fish?" she nods and we run over to the forest-like area next to the beach. 

Once we have everything, we walk back to the marui to cook the fish. Inside, I see Kiri and Lo'ak talking to eachother in hushed voices. "Look we got food!" Tuk hops in first and jumps into Lo'ak's arms. I walk over to the corner of the pod where I can cook the fish. I crouch down next to the pile of wood and use a piece of metal to make sparks. 

When I have started the fire, I hang the fish on a rotisserie stick. "Is there enough for us to eat as well?" Kiri walks over, mouth watering at the chicken. "Yup!" I fake a happy voice to make sure she does not get suspicious. "Let's go!" she goes back over to sit down with Lo'ak and Tuk. They start speaking to eachother in hushed voices again.

As soon as the fish is cooked enough, I separate it into 3 equal pieces. I pour spices onto the fish and wrap it into the seaweed. I make sure I have tied off the seaweed correctly and then walk over to my siblings, handing one fish each to them. 

"Aren't you gonna eat?" Kiri asks something that grabs my attention. I feel sickened at the thought of even eating right now. "No, I ate earlier with mama" I lie yet again to my sister. "I'm going for a walk" I know that Kiri wants to continue the conversation but I leave the marui before she can. 

"stupid, stupid, stupid" I curse at myself as I hear footsteps behind me. "Nobody cares about you you idiot!" I continue, ignoring the nearing of the footsteps. "Why would they, you're such an ugly idiot!" I quieten my voice a little though, aware that a lot of na'vi would be out and about during this time of day. 

I collapse onto the sand in the beach and close my eyes. I feel eyes on me again. Opening my eyes, I look to the side to see...