Thirty. when i'm losing my control

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XXX. when i'm losing my control

      Bridger wondered how long he could take the staring until he finally snapped

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Bridger wondered how long he could take the staring until he finally snapped. The judgmental stares from the Kooks burnt holes into his skin. They haunted him, made him feel small, but it also ignited a fire in his bones and everybody knew when he got angry, it was ugly. He tried to block them out and create a world he could go to, to ignore all the gossip,  but it was hard. It was hard to ignore everything when you were the center of the topic. One of the topics, anyway.

"How is he able to show is face?"

"I can't believe he's actually here."

"He's a Pogue, now."

"I thought he was one of us?"

Their words filled his ears like water. Bridger chewed the inside of his cheek so hard that he was surprised he didn't start bleeding. His nails buried into the skin of his palms. There were two sides of him. The fun,  leisurely personality that caused everyone to love him in the first place, and the other was a ball of fire; they were only causing the fire to burn gradually larger.

Inez stared at the boy with worry in her sweet eyes.  She nervously messed with her hands until the table.  She, too, listened to the horrific gossip around them.  The hairs on the back of her neck stood when she saw all the eyes that focused on their table. She leaned forward. "You know we can go some place else," she spoke softly.

Bridger snapped out of dreamworld. "No, no, I'm not going to snoop to their level," he spoke with a bitter undertone. He leaned forward in his seat also and smiled at her. "I'm really glad we can do this again," he said with a curt nod and motioned his finger between them.

She smiled back. "Of course. I've been waiting for you to call me up." She slightly teased.

"I know. I know. I'm sorry. Things have just been. . ."  He trailed and stopped. The smile he wore subtly fell.

Inez nodded again. "I know. But hey, i'm still here.  Don't pay attention to what these assholes are saying.  They think they know you but they don't. They just like the gossip."

Bridget forgot how much he loved spending time with Inez Maddox. Their relationship was rocky and she had a right to want to be distant from him. They were together for a whole year. She was in love with him.  He loved her too but it was a different kind of love. He trusted her with his secrets and she was his shoulder to cry on. He did love her. He only felt guilty for making her love him in the way she did.

But things were different now. They were closer than ever. Inez was his friend and he was graceful that she still saw him as hers, too. They sat together at the country club on the roof top. He could remember countless times him and his Kook friends would book out the roof top for parties. He had so many memories locked inside of the space. But that's all it was now: memories.

Favorite Crime, JJ MaybankWhere stories live. Discover now