not a chance • jj maybank

n i n e

PAISLY ROUTLEDGE

"That's not gold." Pope groans, grabbing the FedEx bag through a crack.

"Holy shit." John B's face lightens up. "This is from our dad."

"Code red. Code red. Square groupers! Square groupers!" JJ panics as smoke escapes his mouth.

"Go!" Kie shouts as we all run to the other side of the tomb.

"Lights." I remind everyone. They all shut their lights off but JJ's starts to strobe flash.

"Homies got a gun." JJ announces.

"Screw this." Kie panics, she gets up and starts running.

"Fuck." I whisper to myself for not being so fit.

"Let's go." JJ says before grabbing my wrist and dragging me along with the group. Trying to keep up, but I fail miserably as I trip on a branch.

JJ stops, and helps me up. We continue to run towards the fencing, everyone gracefully climbs over it. I manage to trip again once my feet hit the ground.

"Guys, I'm stuck." Pope announces from the top of the fence, that his shorts were caught on.

JJ picks me up and throws me over his shoulder, clearly fed up with my clumsiness. Kie tries to help Pope, but his shorts rip.

"Leave them." I shout at them as I throw myself into the drivers seat of the van. JJ jumps in the front and lands on me.

"It's a little Tootsie Roll." John B jokes, causing all of us to laugh.

• • •

"That bread had mold on it three days ago." Pope informs JJ who is trying to make a sandwich.

"I'll just pull off the bad parts." JJ shrugs. Kie and I look at each other in disgust. "Plus, mold is good for you. It's just a natural organism." He continues.

I leave the dumb blonde and walk over to the kitchen table. John B had opened the envelope, and was staring at a map.

"Oh. X marks the spot." Pops smiles as he sees the map.

"Wait, there's somethin' else in there." I say, messing around with the evelope, it's a tape recorder.

"What's that?" JJ asked, standing behind me.

"It's a tape recorder, dumbass." I say as he puts his arms around my shoulders. I hand the recording to John B who puts in into a player.

"Dear bird and bee," My dads voice is heard.

"Who's bird and bee?" JJ asked.

"It's what our dad called us." I breathe out.

"I hate to say, "I told you so," but I told you so. And you doubted your old man. I suspect at this moment, you're filled with guilt and self-loathing over our last fight, but don't kill yourself just yet, kid. I didn't expect to find the Merchant either." The fight he's talking about is between John B and my dad, horrible fight if you ask me.

"You were probably right to call me out. Wasn't exactly Father of the Decade. What can I say, kid? I could smell the barn." He sighs. "And hopefully, we're listenin' to this in our brand new sugar-shack down in Costa Rica, livin' off passive investments and pulling on permits."

A single tear escapes my eye. JJ's arms hug me tighter against him.

"If not, and you find this for less than optimal reasons, well, that's what the map is for. There she is, the wreck of the Merchant. If somethin' happens to me, finish what I started. Stick with your sister, she needs you more than ever. Go for the gold, kid. I love you, both of you, even if I didn't always act like it."