I don't even know what I'm doing at this point, I went back to playing with Natalie like I used to, I made it up to her for ignoring her and not playing with her for about 2 months. It's nice to get back into that vibe but like, I thought I moved past the roleplay shit- I guess not? I don't know if it's a bad thing or not yet. I mean it's good that I'm finally spending time with Natalie, it has been a while after all, I'm also not shutting everyone out like I was while I was with Axeria. I changed my password so I'm in the clear when it comes to that, I guess I'm just not ready to let go?
I mean I can see why, it lasted nearly 5 months- that was my longest relationship, It could've been longer but I just.. Don't know at this point in time. It sucks having to hide most emotion, it's becoming a default for me. I can't ever cry, even if I try to find a way to force myself to. I have tried so fucking hard and nothing seems to work.
Why am I like this? Why do I suppress almost all of my emotions, I don't want to seem like an attention seeker.. But it's just complicated. So fucking complicated.
YOU ARE READING
Vent
Non-FictionContains a lot of cussing, as well as relationship problems and possible mentions of suicide. If triggered by these topics, do not read. Honestly, half of it is just a rant. Read it if you want I guess.
