So I found out that she was possibly cheating on me. I was fine with her trolling shit but what if she actually cheated on me? I mean Seiko probably doesn't know what he's talking about... afterall I didn't tell him every name she goes/went by, therefore he doesn't know the full story. I used to zone out and think about the lyrics to songs right?
Well for some reason I've lost that ability to do so. I used to think about the lyrics and realize how relatable they are but now I lost the ability to focus on literally the only thing that helps me tune out the world? How stupid. Sometimes I just want to punch a wall or just take my anger & emotions out on anything. Literally anything.
I've already lost my mind so it's getting harder to keep myself together than before. Around some of my friends I feel "happy" but.. Now I'm just more lost than I ever was and I can't do anything about it. I'm tired of not feeling like myself. I'm tired of being stepped on.
I'm tired of it but I've grown used to it when in reality no person deserves to be used to such bullshit like I am. So many people just want me to break up with her already because all they hear is the bad shit about her and they haven't seen her good side. I'm just at a loss here at this point in time. I've already lost a lot so what is there left to lose? I feel like I've lost all of my emotions besides my default ones; anger/hate, fake happiness, and unhappiness.
YOU ARE READING
Vent
Non-FictionContains a lot of cussing, as well as relationship problems and possible mentions of suicide. If triggered by these topics, do not read. Honestly, half of it is just a rant. Read it if you want I guess.
