Why am I thinking about another relationship when I'm already with someone? She's changing and being better but I'm over here half cheating even though I said I would never cheat on anyone. He keeps telling me he loves me and everything and I get that but like.. I don't know. My girlfriend finally decided the other night to fall asleep on a call with me.
She was adorable and I can tell she's comfortable now with showing her face but the other day she talked about giving her account to her cousin. "Half the time you guys don't even notice when she's pretending to be me" she said. It kind of affected me in a way because usually I can tell but now? I don't know, I'm just losing motivation for everything lately. The other day I burst into tears for absolutely no reason and I usually never cry when I get yelled at.
Hell, I don't cry at all most of the time so that was a first. Usually if I "cry" my eyes only water, no tears actually go down my face but that day I was extremely moody and I don't know why, if anything it's because of the bottled emotions. I don't know what I'm doing anymore, people keep saying that they're "there for me" and I can "tell them anything" but I'm scared to so I just type it out instead. There's times when I want someone to talk to me but nobody does until something shows up in my status. I keep reconnecting with old friends to distract myself from things and venting on here has become a habit... A bad one.
YOU ARE READING
Vent
SachbücherContains a lot of cussing, as well as relationship problems and possible mentions of suicide. If triggered by these topics, do not read. Honestly, half of it is just a rant. Read it if you want I guess.
