Dazai Osamu x Chuuya Nakahara Fanfiction Book

The Voice of an Angel (incomplete)

Chuuya honestly didn't have much in life— nothing to look forward to. His current years consisted of wires, hospital beds, intake forms, diagnoses, and tumors after tumors. He didn't know when it was ever gonna stop, nor did he ever know if it was gonna end for good.

His life was just endless, painful suffering. He had cancer of the brain, tumors all around his head. They weren't that noticeable, but if you were to touch his scalp through his thin, bright red hair, you would be able to feel the large clumps of cells.

He barely ever moved, he was mostly bed-ridden. He was always in his hospital bed, he didn't eat his food, he drank water here and there, and that was it. Chuuya was only 13 years old, and this really was his life. For a kid, too.

He had nothing to entertain him. A notebook, to write poems in. A sketchbook, to draw and color pictures of the poems. He preferred drawing cartoons, he didn't like the looks of a human like himself— if he can even be called that. He liked exaggerating the most beautiful features he found in people.

The eyes are always larger, smooth, and mono lids. His are droopy, wrinkly, dry, and he always looks like he just got done crying. Eczema is scattered around his lids, no matter how much primer or lotion his nurses give him. His eyelashes are crusted, and stick together from the amount of over-sleeping he has endured.

The noses are nice, small, and barely even there. His is bigger, sort of crooked, and freckled. For a Japanese person, it's not common to have his type of nose, so he's insecure about it.

"No, make the eyes smaller."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because you want them bigger to fantasize about not having the ones you have now, dummy. Make the eyes smaller."

Chuuya paused with his pencil in hand, and quirked a brow. "And... why is that a bad thing?"

"Why wouldn't it be a bad thing?"

Chuuya sighed in defeat and started erasing the first eye he was starting to draw. He minimized the size down.

"Smaller."

He erased, and did smaller.

"Smaller."

"It's gonna look stupid!"

"I know! Heheh~"

"Are you actually trying to help me, or are you just gonna be an asshole?!"

"Chuuya?"

Chuuya instantly looked over, and his nurse, Charlotte, was peeking in the room.

"Y-yeah?"

"Is there a problem?"

Chuuya looked back down to his notebook, and bit his lip, embarrassed.

"No... sorry if I frightened you, Charlie."

"I thought I heard you talking to someone." She stepped into the room, looking around. "I didn't think you had any visitors today..."

"I don't, I-I... I wasn't talking."

"Oh...?" The nurse said, questioning.

"I—I was—"

"I was just singing to myself! No biggie. Sorry if I disturbed you."

Charlotte smiled to Chuuya looking at his blushing face and giggling. "Okay, well you enjoy your music. What song is it, may I ask?"

"Uh—its" "Shinju-wah, hitorde wa~"

"Double suicide?" Charlie said. "Strange taste, but okay." She laughed, and adjusted her nurse's hat.

"Uh—yeah..." Chuuya rubbed his neck. "Sorry..."

"It's no problem. Just remember, call me down if you need anything, kay?" She said nicely.

Chuuya nodded in appreciation and let her leave the room. As soon as the door closed, he instantly grabbed his pillow and shoved it into his own face, screaming into it.

"Why do you have to be so difficult, asshole?!"

"I was helping you out! That's what friends are for."

"As if. I'll never be your friend up until the day I die."

"Okay, Chuuya."

Chuuya leaned back, and picked his sketchbook back up. He was sketching the anatomy of the human face, not the actual anatomy, but just a face using shapes from a poster he sees of real anatomy on his hospital's bedroom wall.

Looking down to the drawing, he realized one eye was still there, he went to go draw the other one.

"Not all people have both eyes, you know?" Dazai told him. Well, the voice in his head.

"Well, I'm not drawing all people, am I?"

"You want to, though." Dazai was humming in the back of his mind. "Some have eyes that are crossed permanently, or both are lazy eyes from being blind or how high they are on the blind spectrum."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Education."

"Mhm. If you don't shut up I'm gonna make you go blind."

"But then that would only be Chuuya plucking out his own eyeballs?"

"Im a very dedicated person."

"Being inside of your mind, I can see that." Dazai sighed. "I'll stay quiet, for now."