Die for You

Chapter 25

                                                                      -Kandahar, Afghanistan-

"Cold as your fucking heart today, Snowy," Whitey said as we sat in the back of the armored car son the way to the pickup. He breathed out into my face to emphasize the point, the warm droplets of water turning into cloudy vapor.

'Snowy', that was me... that was what the boys had nicknamed me after our first proper firefight together; well, sort of. It was in the third week of our deployment and I'd earned it after my first time under small arms fire. It was also the first time that I'd got a real handle on my fear and the training came flooding back allowing me to function as a soldier and an oppo. "Cool as fucking cucumber. Like a fucking ice... Snow Queen", Whitey had put it.

"Fuck you, Whitey," I replied sweetly. "We can't all be loved up all the fucking time. See if you're acting the same way next year after Paul Jr. has appeared and it's all dirty nappies, no sleep and even less sex."

"I'll be loved up before, during and after, Snowy mate, and you know it."

"Yeah, you probably will be," I conceded. Funny thing was, I meant it as well.

I'd known Whitey for four, nearly five years now and I'd never seen him so happy. Poor fucker was totally smitten with Jill, and their soon to arrive brat-ling.

"When you going to make an honest woman of Amanda then, Snowy? Jill thinks you'd have lovely kids, and she's desperate to be a bridesmaid as well as a bride."

I spat out a laugh and cuffed him on the shoulder. "Don't think that's going to happen, mate," I told him, "thinking of giving her the elbow, to be honest."

"What!" He exclaimed, disbelief in his voice. "You were batting well above your fucking average with her in the first place, mate. Dunno how you could even think of dumping her."

"It's not like you and Jill mate," I told him, "we've got nothing in common. Nothing but pretty great sex anyway. I fucking hate her mates, and they hate me too; they're nothing but a bunch of fucking stuck-up wankers who look down at me because I work out here and dress like this."

"Yeah, but still..." he replied weakly.

"I'll see if it's any better when we get home," I told him to shut him up. "Dubai was a fucking disaster, as you would know if you and the Mrs ever left your hotel room."

"Hey! It's not my fault I find pregnant women sexy."

"You need to think straight though, Snowy, yeah?" He added, now with a straight face. "Don't go doing anything stupid, see how you feel after a few weeks of being home. It might be different when we get back to the UK. I know you, you always do this; make everything worse in your head and try and fuck things up. Think it through, Snowy, don't piss your life away over a whim, yeah?"

"Yeah, I guess," I said leaning the back of my helmet against the metal side panel and slumping back.

"Maybe it is my fault things went shitty in Dubai. For your information, she actually asked me to marry her."

"Fucking what? Snowy, why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I said no."

"What the fuck did you do that for, you twat?" he shouted shoving me hard with his shoulder.

"Because..." I answered, regaining my seat. "Just fucking because..."

"Fucks sake, Snowy, you can't do this to me. I'm so looking forward to delivering your best man's speech one of these days. I've got stories about you that will turn Amanda's hair white and probably kill a few of her stuck-up mates for good measure."