𝗜𝗠𝗣𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗧||𝗝𝗝 𝗠𝗔𝗬𝗕𝗔𝗡𝗞

twenty-five|Impatient

Jaz let her body carry her, rather than her mind as she made her way down the windy roads, wobbling on her bike. Before she knew it she was at a very familiar home.

She sat on the front steps, right in front of the door. Her case of beers with just a couple left made a clank as she dropped them down next to her.

She almost looked like a raccoon from all the makeup smudged around her eyes, the black from her eye makeup dripped down her face as she cried more on those steps. Her cries muffled by her hands as she let herself rest in them. She leaned back against the door, her eyes drifting shut. She was convinced if she stayed awake much longer she was gonna throw up far too much. So, she let her self drift into her dreams.

~

She woke up abruptly, falling backwards, like the wall behind her had fallen. It wasn't even a wall behind her, it was a door which she soon realized.

"Child, what are you doin' here?" Heyward looked down at her with a puzzled look, "How long have you been out here?"

She gulped down her thick saliva, muffling an answer, she wasn't even sure what she was saying. Her thoughts were still cloudy. It had only been fifteen minutes since she sat on those steps.

"What?" He cocked his head, sticking out a hand for her.

She took it and got up not so gracefully. "I'm sorry. I-I didn't have anywhere to go. John left with- Kie and JJ were like together," she mumbled as tears started streaming down her face. "I...I'm sorry. I'm really drunk right now." She sobbed.

"Oh, god." He shook his head, "come in."

Mrs. Heyward wasn't home so he fixed her some water and am Ibuprofen, setting it on the table next to the couch Jaz laid on.

"Do you want me to call someone?" He asked, his back facing her as he turned down the TV. He stopped in his tracks once he turned around. The girl was fast asleep. Tear stained cheeks, mouth hung open, and sand filled hair.

Heyward had decided to call John B.

JJ

I don't know how long ago or how we even got here but John B and I have been sitting in silence in the Twinkie. We've had a few conversations with random thoughts that would come to mind but nothing to important. It felt like we were waiting for something; anticipating. But, we weren't. We were just sitting there.

"Y'know, Mr. Beck? The chem teacher-" John B's words were cut off with a loud ring. It almost made us jump but there hadn't been to much silence to cut through.

"Heyward?" John B answered the phone, plopping it next to him on the seat after clicking on the speaker phone.

My head snapped his way, I had a gut feeling this wasn't a good old check in. It was Jaz. It had to be. No one has heard from her all day. I was the last one to talk to her. She probably left everyone with the ring of my voice stuck in her head.

I never meant to hurt her like i did. That is the last thing I'd ever want to do. But I did anyway. I was angry. I'm a fucker.

"Hey, son. You might wanna get over here," he started, with a sigh, he sounded sad almost, maybe stressed.

John B gave me a strange look as I sat up. "It's your sister. She's not doing too well."

John B shot up, scrambling to the drivers seat, "We'll be there in a sec." He answered simply before ending the call.

"What the hell, JJ?" John B snapped, "I thought you knew where Jaz was"

I sighed, I probably should've, but what are the chances she's been completely alone for the past seven hours? "Man, I never said that."

"Then where has she been?"

"She broke up with me, then ran off, dude I don't know."

"You guys broke up?" John B's head whipped towards me, "What'd you do?"

"What I always do." I said defeated.

"Y'know I'll give you shit later," he sighed, opening his door once he parked in front of the Heyward's.

He knocked on the door and nervously examined the wall in front of him. As soon as it swung open his head shot forward and he lunged inside, me quickly behind him.

"What happened?" John said quickly, "Where is she?"

Heyward shook his head as we followed him down the hall, "I couldn't tell you what happened but she came stumbling in here."

John have him a puzzled look but Heyward confirmed his suspicions, "She's wasted. Her bike had two empty cases."

"What? Where'd she even get all that?"

"Like I said, I couldn't tell you."

"Is she okay?"

He paused for a moment, "Maybe you should just talk to her."

John nodded and smiled as a thanks.

This was all my fault. Jaz doesn't usually get super batshit drunk. I lashed out on her, I pushed her away. I can't be the one to fix this. I'll only make it worse.

"Dude," I stopped John B, "Maybe I should just wait in the car?"

I could tell John B was about to contradict me but he paused and eventually signaled me out the door.

~

I waited for a least fifteen minutes, which really isn't that long but it felt like an eternity. I honestly didn't know what to expect, but I still shouldn't have been surprised when I saw her with makeup dripping down her face, her eyes drooped low and her hair filled with sand. Not only that but when John B laid her down, the smell of weed filled my senses. She was totally crossed.

The van shook when John had put her bike in the back which made her sniffle a bit. I tried so hard not to wipe a tear that shed from her sleeping eyes. She was crying while she was sleeping. Her whole face was red, well from what you could see behind the smudged makeup. Her nose and cheeks were puffy, and eyes raw.

When John B sat back down I looked over to him and caught him just staring down at his sister, another ping of guilt piercing my heart. You could also see the guilt on his face. But shouldn't feel guilty. I am the one who's guilty. I did this. All of it. It's my fault he has to see his little sister like this.

It's all my fault.