Love With Abandon

Double Prejudice

Has it ever struck you as prejudice how some types of prejudice are unacceeptable while others are? If one were to say a stereotype about a black man, that person would be percieved as racist. If a man were to say a nasty comment about women, women would immediately loathe this person. If, however, one were to say a nasty comment about a lesbian or a gay, others were expected to laugh along with this person, and the victim would be too coy to say anything.

Those gays were used to this kind of treatment; the were expected to. People think that those select few chose to be gay, as if they liked going through this type of treatment. I don't think they ever do. 40,000 gays die each year from suicide. Eventually, their depression takes over.

They try to hide it. They try to deny it. Sometimes, others know before they even know it themselves. They lose themselves. They forget who they truly are inside. When they come out, not only do they face the same bottled up anger, their forgetting of who they are, but they are also faced with external enemies; bullies.

Meanwhile, we keep hurting them, knowing they are hurting. Some fear those who are different, fearing that they will rise over them and take them over. Others simply go along with it for fear that they will be percieved as gay.

Is what we are doing right? It is simply a mixture of hypocrisy, prejudice, harshness, hatred, fear cowardice. How long must we go on?

***

I stared down at my plate of pasta, one of my least favorite dishes. Ever since I tried elementary school pasta, I had never had any more of It without barfing. 

"Don't just pick at your food. Eat it!" Sasha chastised me, sitting next to Brad. The three, Sasha, Brad, and Amy were like triplets. They all had blue eyes, blonde hair, and the behavior of a rascal. 

"I can't help it! This is disgusting!" I replied loudly. 

I realized I was the only one talking. The room became dead silent. All eyes were trained toward a girl, a few years older than me. She had stunningly red hair, and beautiful gray eyes. Staring down, she kept her eyes downcast, taking a seat. Immediately, the people surrounding her shifted away from her. It was so wrong, yet I felt helpless. I didn't want to be that girl, and frankly, I didn't want to get involved in this. 

"What's up with her?" I asked in a hushed tone. 

"She's lesbo," Amy replied nonchalantly. 

She reminded me of myself. I wasn't lesbian, but I was sure different. I, like her, was looked down upon just like she was, and like her, I couldn't make others like me. She reminded me of my old self, depressed, alone, and ridiculed, praying to God there was someone to help me get through. 

I didn't know why. It felt so wrong. It made me feel guilty. But there was one thing I could not bring myself to do. 

I could not help her. 

***

"This week's theme is "Change". I've brought up some songs, if you like them," Taylor showed me a list.

1) Imagine- John Lennon

2) Pretending- Glee Cast

3) Change- Carrie Underwood

4) Defying Gravity- Wicked Cast

5)Brighter than the Sun- Colbie Calliat

'

"I think I'll try 'Defying Gravity', by 'Wicked'. I love that song," I said.

"All right then. Let's try it out," she responded, clapping her hands together.