People want to be someone. They want to be different . They want to be someone special, someone that changes the world. It is, however difficult to do, because there are things blocking them.
People want to fly. But gravity stops them from doing so.
People want to change, be different. Other people prevent them from doing so.
People want to be someone famous, but they themselves prevent themselves from doing so.
Those forces are all forms of gravity, keeping you from soaring, from being at the top. Being yourself is hard. Change is hard, regardless of good or bad.
Admitting things is hard, even to yourself. When you do, it's hard to not be put down, and often times, you are put down.
This is what I learned from Eileen Baker.
***
"Imagine all the people," the red-haired girl sang on the stage, "Living life in peace."
Standing from backstage, watching her sing, I could tell this song meant a lot to her. It had hope for her, hope that life would some day be fair, hope that someday be without judgement for what type of person they were; black, asian, white, gay, straight, or bi. It had been a hard week for her, with no one there except for Taylor, as even I had deserted her at her darkest moment.
By the end of her song, her whole body shook with sobs she was trying so hard to conceal. Her eyes glistened with unshed tears. But she stood tall, defiant. And that was what I admired about her. Her bravery, her courage, her defiant beauty.
I wished I could be like that, oblivious to gravity.
But I wasn't.
***
"What's wrong?" Liam asked.
I stared up him, confused. "What?"
"You've been looking down lately."
I sighed. "I don't know. I guess I feel guilty."
"For what?" he asked.
"I've been being a jerk to Eileen."
"The lesbian one?" he asked. I nodded. "I would go apologize. I used to do the same to gays, until I was percieved as one myself."
"I don't know if she'll accept it. I'm scared." I stared down ashamedly.
"I guess we'll just see. Maybe she'll refuse your apology. Either way, you'll feel better afterward, right?"
"Why do you have to be so smart?" I asked, turning red afterwards.
"Experience. Now, lets go." He pat my back, and watched me leave.
Behind me, I heard the noisy chatter of the rest of One Direction whispering,
***
Where the hell is she? I thought frusturatingly.
Suddenly, I saw a spot of scarlet drip down to the floor.
God, this is so wrong, I thought as I climed under the stall.
"AAAHHH!"
I looked up to see a mass of red hair... opening a tampon. Oops.
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" an enraged Eileen yelled.
"Erm, I wanted to apologize. For being a jerk," I said awkwardly, staring at the wall.
"Apology accepted. No get out!" she screamed, pushing me out.
Well, that was awkward.
***
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Love With Abandon
Fanfiction17-year old Angelica Hastings comes from a small town of Accord, New York, where she was ignored, and she was filled with self loathing. After a nasty break-up with her ex-boyfriend, Bryan, she decides to break away from her status quo and her city...
