The Not-So-Bad Boy Next Door

Chapter 44

Aiden's POV

"Five..." She said looking back down at her watch, totally avoiding eye contact with me.
I got nervous and blabbed out, "I just-"
She cut me off, "Four..."
I won't have enough time to say what I need to say, "I died."
She cut me off again by saying, "Three..."
I only have three seconds. I better just get it out, "I need-"
"Two..."
"I love you," I said hoping she would stop interrupting me. "I. Love. You. I'm in love with you." I said looking at her and waiting for some - any kind of reaction. "I'm in love with you, Claire. I've been in love with you. That's why I can't let you go. That's why I won't let you go." She blinked a few times and got up from the bed. She grabbed her bag and mumbled, "I have to go," before she walked out of my room, leaving me all alone, and no hope at all. I officially screwed up, big time.

Claire's POV

I can't believe the words I just heard. I blinked to compress the tears forming. I sat up and grabbed my bag. Without looking at him I mumbled, "I have to go," and walked out the door. I walked down the stairs and out the front door. I cut through the grass and made my way up my front steps. I opened the door with my key and dropped my bag on the side table once I got in and shut the door.
"Claire?" Joseph calls from somewhere in the house. He comes around the corner from the living room and from one glance at me he's already asking, "Claire, what happened?" My bottom lip trembles as I ask, "Can we just forget, for a moment, that mom isn't gone. That nothing that has happened, over the past almost nine years, actually happened. That mom and Elliot were still here? Can we just pretend like we're still one big happy family? That I still think of you as dad and that mom will come out of the kitchen any second now to take Elliot to the park?"
He walks over to me and pulls me into a hug. I totally brake my charade as soon as I feel my dad come back to me. I sob into his shoulder and tears freely stream down my face. He pulls us towards the couch and sits down. He pulls me into a fatherly hug and just lets me cry on his shoulder.

After quite some time, I stopped crying. I just sniffled and hiccuped and probably looked like Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer. My head in leant up against Joseph's. He hasn't asked what happened and he hasn't asked where I was, which I'm extremely thankful for. Abruptly he gets up and walks out of the room. I hear him go up the stairs and a couple of minutes later I hear him come back down. He walks back into the living room with an envelope. He holds it out and it reads,

To: Claire

I looked at it and then back up at Joseph. "What is this?" I ask while running my fingers over the envelope. "Read it. Then you'll see." He says before he leaves the room. I open it and pull out the paper. I turn the papers in my fingers and then finally unfold it. I started to read the letter. It read:

To my precious little angel Claire,

If you're reading this than that means I didn't make it, and you're grown up to the point that you need me most. I know that leaving the way I did was an awful way to go. I thought it was coming, but I didn't want to or know how to say goodbye. I'm not sure how things have been since that day, but it must be pretty bad, if your father has decided to give this to you.
I have never been a poet or anything like that, so this is just what I think would be useful. If you're having a hard time because life is getting a little hard, you have to push through, baby girl. You have to be strong. You've been strong and you need to stay strong. Life will throw things at you, and you can choose whether you want to swerve or get hit straight on. If you're thinking that you can't be strong because I can't be strong with you then your wrong. I'll always be with you. I'll be there when you graduate and when you walk down the isle towards the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. I'll be there, not physically, but mentally. I'll be there if you choose for me to be there, cause I'll be there in your heart. No matter what.
There will come a time where you won't rely on the shoulder of your parents. That's when you'll know what it's like to be love with someone. It may even be a person you once despised. Sometimes life can pull tricks on you like that, but you just have to live in the moment. Forgive, but don't forget. That doesn't mean I'm telling you to live in the past though. I want you to live your life. Be who you want, live how you want, and love who you want. If you ever find yourself missing someone or feeling down when they are, then you're truly in love. Even if mistakes are made you have to forgive. You and the people around you will make mistakes along the way, but we all learn from them. Like your father was one of the coldest people I knew when I first met him, but he changed, and for the better. If you ever find yourself crying over someone and it's not worth it, then just put them in your past. If you love them and your crying over them, then don't ever let them go. Or just don't give up without a fight, at least.
I hope you miss me, cause I miss you. I'm not even gone while writing this, and I miss you already. So being that I know your father so well I'm going to take a guess and say he's been a pretty bad dad. My guess is he sent you and your brother to live somewhere else because he was no longer fit to take care of you. I know his reasons won't make sense, but he did it for you. Well if he did do anything stupid. Well I know he did something stupid, but he had good reasons. At least reasons that may never make sense to you, not yet at least. You'll understand when you have kids.
Well anyways I love you so much sweetheart. I'll never stop loving you and I'll always be there for you even if you don't know it. I hope you haven't forgotten everything about me or what I said, and I hope your looking after our family. I'm sorry I'm not there for you, but I love you and I'll love you forever. This isn't goodbye.

Love,
Mommy
P.S. I Love You
P.P.S. See you later, alligator

I wipe the tears that are sliding down my cheeks. I look at the letter and reread it over and over and over again. I smile and close it before holding it on my heart. I tuck the paper back into the envelope and smile down at the envelope. I smile but cry. I never thought I would have anything left of my mom. I though I lost everything from her.
Joseph walks back into the room and sits down on the chair. "So..." he says while fiddling with his fingers. "What did it say?" he asks. I smile and turn to him. "What?" he asks. I just start laughing. He frowns, "What?"
I laugh to the point where my sides hurt and I look and sound like a dying seal. Joseph is pretty flustered and he doesn't even know. "What did it say?" He asks again. I guffaw one more time before saying, "She... She-" I start cracking up again. "She what?" He asks getting a little angry. I laugh again and say, "She said you're stupid."
He chokes on nothing. "What?!?" He exclaims. I laugh and fall back onto the couch laughing. "Yeah she said and I quote, 'I know he did something stupid'." I start laughing again. "What why would she say that?" He asks. I laugh and shake my head, "She knows you too well."

I woke up and looked out my window facing Aiden's room. I look back at the envelope with the letter in it and think about what my mom wrote 'I want you to live your life. Be who you want, live how you want, and love who you want. You and the people around you will make mistakes along the way, but we all learn from them.' I keep thinking back to Aiden. Every single time I read this part I think of Aiden and how I should forgive him already. I also think about when my mom wrote, 'Forgive, but never forget.'
I get out of bed and see Aiden already looking into my room, at me. I sigh and walk over to my closet. I grab out some compression shorts and a tank top. I walk into my bathroom and change. I grab my phone off the table and slip my house key into my band. I plug my ear buds in and walk out of the house. I see Aiden getting out of his house. He looks over at me and frowns. I gulp and do probably the stupidest and riskiest thing I have ever done. I started walking towards him.