The Parasite | Eminem

40

- Marshall's Perspective -

I open the door and I collapse instantly.
She looks down at me, sitting in a chair, across from me in the far corner of the room.
"Hi..." she mumbles, eyes dull and remarkably empty.
She doesn't look the least bit phased, legs crossed, she keeps a strong composure.

I feel myself getting back up, slamming the door shut behind me before moving deeper into the room.
"Hi..." I address, barely audible as I notice the glass of scotch in her grip.
It's as if nothing bad ever happened...
It's as if I've imagined it all.
I feel completely and utterly betrayed and destroyed.
I'm so... so incredibly tired.
I just want to fall apart.

"Where did you go?" I whisper, partially scared that the words will reach her and she'll ignore the question.

"To kill myself. You know this." She tells me point blank.
It makes the tears well up again.
My head hurts.
It hurts so goddamn bad.
I feel as though I might explode at any minute.

"You figured I'd crack the code huh?" I chuckle dryly despite being so... so fucking angry.
She ruined me.
She ruined me and I don't think I can continue if she's willing to do it again for the third time.

I stop in front of her, staring down at her monstrously confident stature, posture perfectly poised as she takes a sip from the scotch.
The sound of ice clanking against glass is the only thing breaking the unbearable silence between us.
Part of me wishes I could just grab her and scream at her.

'You tore me apart, you bitch. And yet you come back as if it wasn't a fucking big deal'
As if it wasn't a big deal at all...
It's all I think of saying...

"How could you do this?" I question under my breath, knitting my eyebrows together in angered confusion.
I settle on something less volatile...

"Do what?" She asks like the goddamn smart ass she is.
I shouldn't have ever fallen in love with her.
This was all my fucking fault.
She warned me so many times.

She told me she was corrosive.
She told me she was a horrible person - a monster.

"Do what? Do what? Come back here as if you didn't just send me into the biggest panic of my life. I thought I wasn't gone see you again! I thought you'd be dead!" I shout down at her, grabbing the glass from her hand.
"Pay attention to me. Full attention" beckoning her to give me what I feel I deserve, I watch her purse those beautiful lips at me.

"I was supposed to be dead. You weren't supposed to see me again." She continues on with her brief statements.
Even now that she's back, she continues to send more pain right through my heart, bullets hitting right where it hurts.

"Well, clearly you didn't do a really good job." I spit.
I'm glad she failed.
More than anything I'm so glad, but I can't comprehend how she failed.
It's not Marlow.

She stands up, coming to reach me at eye level before taking several steps.
I back up onto the bed and she's forcing me to sit, hands on my shoulders.
"I told you I'd leave it up to chance... and chance was on my side." Mumbling the words, she leaves me to interpret in my own way.
"Someone stopped me." She tells me, voice low and eyes half closed.
Her completely bleak presentation is so horribly painful.
She seem unreachable.
There are no emotions to play to.
There isn't anyone home inside.
She's here and yet she's missing.

"Why... what made you want to do it..?" I question desperately, eyebrows coming together in deep concern.
Please Marlow, just see how badly I want to reach you.

"When I was watching you up there on that stage..." she tells me, enthralling me in pure confusion.
She takes several steps back, resuming her seat in the chair across from me.
"I noticed that... how everyone see you... they see me the same way. We're perfect for each other after all! Hah... that's what's my dad said. Because everyone thinks that I'm also an obnoxious trouble maker." She rambles on, grabbing the bottle of scotch from the coffee table.
Pulling the half inserted cork out from the top of the bottle, she takes a sip directly from it.
"But we... we're not the same. We're nothing alike. You wave an unloaded gun at someone, getting caught instantly... I'd load the gun, kill the person and never get caught." She laughs - laughs as if her abilities are funny.

I still don't know where she's going with this.
Yet, I feel completely uncomfortable.
Marlow has become unrecognizable to me now.
She's unpredictable and more demented then I ever thought she could me.
Moreover, I don't think she realized she'd become capable of all this either.

"I just- I don't understand. I thought you hated suicide... more than anything. That's what you told me. When I wanted to take my life." I argue, getting a cracked grin as a reply from her.
I feel mocked.
I feel left in the dark and betrayed.
This all feels disgusting and painful.

"Marshall, you wanted to kill yourself over trivial bullshit, confessing to the world that living is too much for you. I wanted to kill myself because I'm a dangerous person, that's the confession. I would be confessing that I've done horrible atrocities and the world is better off without a monster like me." She explains, downing another long sip before slamming the glass bottle down on the table.

"I do hate suicide... but sometimes there are people who truly don't deserve to be here and you're not one of them." Crossing her legs again, she stares at my caving form.

Her eyes lock on mine.
Her cold expression beckons me to respond in some sort of way.
I'm not sure what to say.
I feel completely lost and torn apart.

"But it's all ok now." She sighs after I remain silent.
She tongues the inside of her cheek, staring down at her lap.
"I was saved... and now I've come back to you... like I said I would in the event of failure." She tells me, as if I should suddenly be so happy.

"I know who you really are... and I'm the only person who should. I know what you've done and I still think you bring value in this world... my opinion should be the only one that matters to you." I tell her, frustrated and hopelessly tired.
I just want to close my eyes.
I just want to hold her and have everything be alright.

"Your opinion is greatly biased." She laughs softly before exalting a tired sigh.
I nod in agreement before sitting still for a minute.
I feel my eyes droop.
I feel the mattress underneath me.
I'm so close to sleep, I can feel it coming quickly.

"Just... can we go to bed..?" I question hazily, feeling my spine curve tiredly.
My whole body feeling incredibly heavy, I roll down onto my back quickly, hoping to feel Marlow in my arms.

She doesn't answer in words.
Turning off the night table lamp, she drops down onto the bed before bringing her arms around me.
She holds me tight as I hold my eyes closed and run my thumb along the skin on one of her arms.

"Tell me it's all ok" I beg, feeling her grip around me tighten.
I take steep, heavy breaths as I wonder whether letting her stay is a good idea.
I don't know if I can handle any more of her...

I hate this person in my bed, holding me as if nothing's occurred... and yet I love this person more than most of everything.
She's my damnation and salvation in the same breath.
She's turned my life completely upside down and not given a single instruction on what to do with the pieces.

"It's all ok..." she whispers in my ear, running her fingers through my short hair.
This moment is both eternally painful and uncontrollably comforting...

How beautiful the world is... if she's right.
She's right.
It's all ok...
It's all ok...
As long as we have one another, it's all ok.

...It's all ok.