Just a dream (I can feel you staring at me)

Chapter 18: The ghosts of your past coming to haunt you

It was a weird form of relief that filled Finn, as he once again walked into the kitchen, preparing something to eat and drink for the others.

And once again, Gwen followed.
It was quiet, the chatter of the others was distant.
As soon as they both were alone, the burning returned.

"You know you don't have to just..live with this stuff." she said while opening a cupboard, grabbing some plates.

Finney just sighed while opening another cupboard and grabbing cups.
"I wanted to protect the others.. I wanted to protect you. I wanted to protect Robin. I just thought that maybe if I ignore it long enough, it'd go away." he admitted.

They only had six cups, maybe he could just drink out of a mug.

Gwen put those plates down, sighed and just hugged Finney.
It was quiet between them, and Finney started to tear up.

He felt loved. He felt wanted and yet he feared that with one snap, the same man could destroy it all. He didn't wanna lose Gwen again. He didn't want her to go through everything again. He didn't want to see how everyone just ignored the missing kids. Just watching them disappear and tell themselves lies about their whereabouts.

He sniffed and leaned against her.
"I just don't want all of us to go through hell again.. I don't wanna lose Robin again." he admitted, and Gwen nodded.

"You are more..close now, right?"
"Yeah… I just realized how important he is to me..and that I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if anything happens to him. And he doesn't want to leave me alone either. It's just.. you know a bit much." he explained.

His heart was fluttering, a slight smile painted across his face. He knew Robin didn't want to lose him, his actions showed it clearly. And yet, it made him feel so important and loved. He didn't want to lose Robin either. He didn't want to lose any of them again.

Gwen chuckled slightly..
"Oh Robin, do you want to be my labpartner?" she teased, and Finney's cheeks just grew red.

He didn't realize how it sounded. Well, the others teased him and Robin for being so close sometimes - they even called them boyfriends at some point - but he never really realized how it must sound whenever he and Robin talk about how important they are to each other. It never hit him like it hit him now..

They sounded like they were in love.

Oh.
Oh.

Finney was in love. He was in love with Robin.

He was still in Gwen's hug, as he realized it. It felt weird realizing it now.
Why couldn't he realize it after they had gone rid of their problem that could literally murder them?
Why couldn't he have realized it before Robin had died?
Why now?
Why couldn't it have been a beautiful moment, a moment full of warmth and light.
Maybe he could have walked home with Robin, talking and joking, and suddenly realize why he felt so awesome with him.
But no, it had to be the kitchen. After Finney confessed to getting phone calls of fucking ghosts and lying to them in the worst way possible and maybe being responsible for getting another kid kidnapped and maybe murdered.

Life didn't give Finney Blake a break, huh?

"Finney, are you okay?" Gwen broke through to him again, now having let go of him.
He blinked at her. Why was she standing before him now? Did she move?

"Oh, I was just lost in my thoughts.. it happens sometimes." he stretched out his arms and scratched his neck, only realizing the burning didn't go away.

He sighed.
"I just feel this burning again. You know, that burning that I mentioned before. On my neck." he explained, and Gwen looked at him.

"The ghosts couldn't leave the basement.. right?"
The question was silent. She didn't say what she meant.
She meant to ask if he could be following him around. A ghost haunting him.