[DISCONTINUED] Hazel Eyes - DW Fanfic

Chapter Twelve - It's Breaking Apart

Rose woke to an ashen grey world. It was raining. No sunlight pooled in the wide window unlike most mornings. Mandy and Rose usually left the walls white, despite control panel that could change the color. White was good. But now the white was grey with shadows like the darkness of the heavy clouds cast against the not-quite-awake sky.

Rose was hyperventilating. She knew she was. She felt like she was spilling out of herself. Coming apart at the seams, unraveled. Blown to pieces by a bomb. She tried to steady her breathing. In. Out. In. Out.

I'm the Rose in the Tardis.

Fuck.

See, Rose can't support the Bad Wolf. Well, at least she couldn't at the time. Her anatomy isn't made to handle that kind of stress. But it's a whole different story for the Tardis. Following?

Fucking shit.

Fuck. Fuck.

Rose felt everything rise up to her throat again. Suffocating her. She wanted to die. Fucking Ayaria.

So, Rose's soul and the Tardis's soul met. They reached out for each other, exchanging pieces of themselves. They gave each other part of their conscious too. Very small part. But a big enough part to create me.

Rose sat up, her head spinning. How could she have been so stupid? She had really believed. How had she believed? She thought it was just a dream. Rose let a laugh. A choked sob.

Rose was crying.

It. Was. All. Real. The Doctor, Ayaria, all of it. All of it. That kiss, the one with the Doctor. She should have known. After that. She should have realized. Was it denial? Had she just pushed it off? Pushed all of it off. She slumped back down into the nest of blankets, a snuffled sob escaping her. She turned over and pulled the pillow under her, clinging to it. Goosebumps rose on her exposed skin.

She needed to-

The Bad Wolf doesn't die.

She needed to leave. She needed to time to sort this out. To figure out shit.

Rose slid out of bed, her feet landing on the black linoleum of the dorm room floor. She took a deep, stuttering breath and took a step. She closed her eyes and tried to wipe away the salty tears that had collected below them.

She made her way to the closet and slid out of her pajamas, pulling on the same sweatpants she'd worn yesterday and a plain black shirt. That was before grabbing a handful of whatever and ripping it off the hanger, throwing it onto her bed. She pulled everything out in hurried armfuls, not paying any attention to the actual actions. Her mind was taken up entirely with the echoing words of last night's dream.

Fuck him.

Fuck the Doctor.

Fuck everything he'd ever done to her.

She was so done with him. Another choked sob rose to the surface. He'd come like some hero. Bringing her away to the stars. But he was no hero, he was the villain. Catching her and trapping her in this unescapable web. And she had loved him. She had thought he was her knight in shining trenchcoat coming to take her away. He was evil. He was Rumpelstiltskin, all lies and deceit. He was-

"Rose?" Mandy's sleep-logged voice cut into the roaring sounds of her own thoughts. "Rose. What're you doin?"

Rose spun around and regarded the girl, who in turn was taking in Rose's messy hair and tear stained face. It was a shame she never really got to the girl. Mandy had always ended up being somewhere else. She spent almost no time in their room. She had earlier classes then Rose and, as far as Rose could gather, spent an enormous amount of time at the library. Although, maybe she'd always been gone cause Rose and Xander had always been here, with their boisterous laughter and what Rose could now classify as flirting. "Leaving." She finally told Mandy gruffly.

Mandy was frowning, pitched up on her elbow. "What?"

"I'm leaving. Dropping out." Rose told her, turning around to get another pile of things from her closet.

Mandy was sitting up now, the blankets pulled around her. "Why! You have amazing grades. And Xander." Xander. Last night. Rose pulled more clothes roughly off their hangers.

"I just don't like it here." Rose lied smoothly, while she hoisted her trunk out of the bottom of her closet and began stuffing the clothes in.

Mandy got up behind her. Rose spun around to see the girl pulling her sweatshirt on over her head and slipping her feet into those loafers that were oh-so-popular these days. "Where're you going?" Rose demanded as Mandy stalked past her.

"To find Xander." She pulled open the door and the bright hall light spilled into their room.

"But it's fucking five am for god's sake!" Rose yelled after her.

Mandy was already gone, leaving Rose smarting with the younger girl's abruptness. Did she even know where Xander's room was? Rose doubted it, she'd only been there the one time herself. She cast a vengeful look at the half of her wardrobe still scattered within the confines of her closet. She growled at it in a way that closely resembled a groan or a scoff or some mix of sorts.

That was before tugging her trunk out the door, leaving the previously mentioned clothes and such behind. She was packing it into the back of her car when she heard a shout behind her. "Rose!"

She turned around, resting her back against the car and crossing her arms as Xander jogged up. He clearly had just woken up, his hair tussled and sleep in his big brown eyes. That and his pajama pants. "How did Mandy find you?" Rose grumbled.

"She's dating my roommate, where do you think she's goes all the time?"

Well, apparently not the library. "Oh."

"Rose, what's all this about?" He motioned towards her trunk in the car.

"Leaving."

"Why?" He frowned, then his eyes widened. "Last night..."

"It's not that."

His frown deepened. "What then?"

"Can't tell you." She stood and slammed the trunk shut.

"Rose?" He followed her around to the front. "Rose wait!"

"Don't miss me." She said getting into the car and starting the engine.

He grabbed onto the edge of her rolled down car window. "Rose..."

She glared at him, reaching out and pushing him backwards. "Goodbye, Xander." She whispered.

"You can't do this Rose!" He yelled as she began to pull away.

But Rose did. She drove away. She drove somewhere, anywhere. Somewhere Earth.

END OF PART TWO

Author's Note: Okay, so um, abrupt ending. For anyone who didn't understand, Rose dreamt she was Ayaria talking about the connection between Rose, Ayaria and the Tardis. Bit of a shocker for Rose.

On to something more important to tell you; I'm considering quitting this fanfic. I've got awful writer's block and I'm not sure anyone reads this anyway. So here's the deal, if this chapter can get nine votes by the end of the week, this Saturday, I'll push myself to keep writing. I'm sorry, I'm just really struggling. As always, love you guys though.