Step Into My Soul - Poems About Spirituality, Mental Health & More

A Letter For My Mother

Dear Mommy Dearest,

I admire your courage. I admire your strength.

It takes a lot to come from another country.

You had to set roots in a foreign country, not knowing the language.

I admire how hard you worked to make sure I was taken care of.

You worked long nights, weekends and even holidays. I was lonely.

I knew you had to do what you had to do but sometimes-

I craved your warmth, I craved your love. I wanted support.

I wanted to feel that I could come to mommy and get a big hug.

All I wanted was a hug and for someone to say "you will be okay."

I admire your determination. I admire your 'get it done' attitude.

You did so much for our family, you did not always get a 'thank you.'

Or an 'I appreciate you'. I know that you did not hear it from him.

You do not need to say that you did, no need to be in denial mother.

Out loud and in front of me. The highlights of my childhood, often fond.

But in spite of that, there were nights I cried for you. I prayed for you.

I prayed that you would see how wrong he was, the things he said.

You deserve to be loved and protected, not belittled by your husband.

Six year old may not know much about love, but one thing I knew-

The energy was wrong, all wrong. I didn't know how to say it then.

But I know now- that a normal home doesn't include vulgarity.

A loving home should be a safe haven, not a war zone.

He threw word grenades that blew up everywhere, not only on you.

They not only hurt you, but me too. You did not realize it. I cried.

Most nights, I cried not only for you but myself. I feared my thoughts.

I was afraid of him. I was afraid of what he would say next, or do.

I admire you Mother, I admire all that you have created and done.

However, as a young woman, I cannot understand the reason why.

You stay with him and continue to put up with his energy.

I know you may love him and while he may be my father,

I cried more times than I laughed being around him. I was scared.

Even though I have moved out and been away, I still fear his capability.

Mommy Dearest, I admire your courage. I admire your strength.

But you do not always need to be this way.. You can let go now.

~ K.K 

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This poem is probably the most authentic, the most raw way I could describe my relationship with my mother. Both of my parents immigrated from Poland in the early 90s. I admire them both for coming to this country and starting over from scratch. I appreciate them for their hard work because I can't imagine coming to a foreign country that you have no knowledge in, along with a language barrier. My mother did the absolute best she could for me, financially wise. Emotionally, there was a big disconnect. I would say I have mixed feelings about my mother. On one hand, I know she meant well and did what she could to protect me. But on the other hand, it didn't feel like enough. She often made me feel like I wasn't enough.. Hence this poem. My father was emotionally and verbally abusive, the lines that spoke of him. My father is a hard working man yes, but he is also extremely wounded internally. I do not know what my parents truly went through. I do wish them well always, because they are my family. I simply hope and pray that they heal.