These Stories Are Reasonable

Paths (One Shot)

Gray looked down at the blank sheet in contempt. It hadn't yet done anything to him, but still he hated it, dreaded it's very existence. 

Name: It asked, and Gray refused to answer, for no reason at all. It taunted him with easy questions, things far too simple for him to struggle with. 

Career Path: Followed with a couple blank lines to write out ones greatest dreams and aspirations. All the things Gray wanted to achieve and all the money he wanted to make and all the happiness he desired. Such a simple, obvious question. However, there was no answer. There had never been a real answer, a reasonable answer. Well, for a brief period Gray had an answer, one that made his teachers crinkle their nose and his Mother smile. Most people assumed he'd go into law, like his mother, though Gray wanted nothing less than to forever live in her shadow. He knew that he'd have a natural knack for Law, hell, he'd be good at anything if he wanted, however, he couldn't care less.

Without a second thought, he crumpled it like it was nothing and stuffed the fine paper snowball in his pocket. Eugene noticed, though he refrained from asking, as per the usual. Gray often seemed upset over little things, perhaps things of significance, he wouldn't know. The shyer boy could only watch out of the corner of his eye and occasionally mutter some reassurance that Gray definitely didn't care for.

Gray watched his friend, the furrow of Eugene's eyebrows, the forward pinching of his shoulders as if to make himself appear smaller. Eugene was destine for great things. "What are you putting?" He questioned, opening a text book and skimming pages. 

"Hm... Science I think," He hummed in response, ignoring the other's dejected sighs and obvious lack of attention. It was an odd thing for Gray not to be completely and entirely engrossed in his textbook, to the point that he could even tune out Ben's loud nonsensical rants. However, now he sat, more interested in Eugene's paper than the spread pages in front of him. The etched words meant close to nothing to him.

The other said something about that being a good choice for Eugene, cut off promptly by the ringing bell. It reminded Gray of the soundtrack in the background of a stereotypical high school movie, though he kept that snippet to himself, trying only to be happy that the day was over and that he could escape this. This class. This paper. Those words. Eugene followed along beside him, packing up at a slightly less desperate pace. 

"What are you going to pick?" He asked carelessly as the pair left the class, heading for the front to meet with the guys. Around them, slowly but surely, they appeared: Teddy, Rowan, Gerard. Alex and Ben would be waiting outside, they had something "awesome" to show everyone else, or so they claimed. The very thought of having to see something "awesome" gave Gray a headache.

There was a brief moment, where Gray had never had issues sharing his issues, his desires, the little hidden things that no one should know. These boys were his dear friends, and nowadays, Gray couldn't care less about spilling his guts to them. "Imagine that there is a void that I endlessly fill with pointless things in an attempt to find meaning and joy," He began with a sigh, contemplating whether or not to drop the stoic face, "I found it in Stephen Ahn," The second time he'd ever admitted such a silly thing, "When we had these papers in middle school, I'd write quite plainly that I wanted to 'follow Stephen Ahn' because I did, there was and is nothing more that I'd want to do," He decided to drop it, "I told him that I'd go where he went and do whatever it took to help him be great, because Stephen Ahn was destine for greatness and I wanted to be there with him," Gray didn't cry hearing the words that he'd been holding onto all this time. He didn't sob at the thought of now having to re-build his future, since now it was missing a vital component. "I don't have any ambitions or desires when it comes to jobs I suppose." He shrugged and ended with that.

Silence filled the group as they walked, nobody knew exactly how to follow up such a huge background drop. It was rare of Gray to share so much as a crumb of his past life, the one he made them all swear to never google or ask about. Now he'd dropped the whole loaf right in their lap and moved on as if it was nothing. "What was Stephen Ahn like?" Gerard asked after another moment, it was something everyone wondered, as this was the first time hearing his name. It was always 'my friend' or 'someone I knew' never a name.

Gray smiled, genuine and sad, "You'd all have liked him, he was sweet and clever, slyer than one would think, but never in a harmful way. Stephen Ahn was friends with everyone, even when they didn't reciprocate and ridiculed him behind his back. He was wonderful, naive, and selflessly stupid." Never once did Gray's tone dip into anything sharp, when he insulted Stephen Ahn it didn't feel like insults. They sounded just like compliments.

"What happened?" Rowan chimed in his question, perhaps taking advantage of this brief window of opportunity, it wasn't everyday that Gray was willing to talk about his past.

He blinked once or twice, "One of the people he called a friend convinced a dangerous person to target Stephen," Gray nearly winced at the thought, though he suppressed the urge as best as he could, "He was selfless and didn't want anything bad to happen to anyone else, so he never denied any claims or fought back, until he did, then.." A short breath, a near-shudder, "They pushed him off the roof and he ended up in a coma." Blankness was back, as thinking of Stephen was easier if he didn't have to factor in his emotions as well. It was easier to feel nothing than feel everything. "So I can't follow him anymore, nor can I build my future around him,"

"Oh, Gray that's horrible," Eugene breathed beside him.

Gray shrugged, "Such is life, you love and you lose, and you lose and you love," He smiled, wondering if it looked as forced as Stephen's, or perhaps it was just a little sad, nothing more, "I wouldn't have ended up in Eunjang and met you guys had my story unfolded any differently."

"How did you end up in Eunjang?" Teddy questioned, silently hoping they weren't prodding too much. He didn't want Gray to get angry with them, though the desire to know the truth outweighed his previous fears.

Violet eyes looked back up to the sky, watching the blue for but a fleeting moment, "Isn't it obvious," His usual sarcastic tone was back, joking and careless, "I beat the shit of out everyone involved," He smiled, this time remembering Oswald and Bryce's bloodied bodied, teary-eyed and at his will, "Now my record is just as fucked: Violent, unpredictable, prone to aggressive and unprompted outbursts. I don't really care now." In his pocket, he felt the soft crinkle of balled up paper, the thing that started this entire spill.

What path could he even choose? There'd never been a clear path for him to begin with. Everyone else walked on hard asphalt road towards an obvious destination, while Gray was drowning in mud and quicksand. He had to focus on surviving so hard that anything else seemed impossible to think of. It couldn't be done

"You're doing alright now though? After all of this?" Gerard broke Gray of his previous thoughts, perhaps his rant had sullied the positive atmosphere.

He pondered the question for but a moment, "I'm doing much better now that I have you guys," He wasn't alright, maybe he'd never even reach a point where he was alright and didn't feel like everyday was suffocating and a fight for his life. Maybe that was okay to Gray in the end, even if he never reached that 100% again, he'd extend his arm and hold onto that 70%. Like a ladder, he'd work himself up rung by rung. One day, "C'mon, it's nothing to be sad about now, let's meet up with Ben and Alex," He smiled.

The other's chimed an agreement and continued previous banter with little reluctance. Gray didn't have to pick a path now, he had all the time he needed. Following Stephen, as wonderful as that had always sounded, was never a viable option. He'd pick something someday maybe, but for today?

He'd hang out with his friends.

His wonderful, kind, understanding friends.

He'd smile.

"Thank you." 

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I love you guys!

Sorry for the lack of updates, nothing crazy has happened, I'm just lazy ig lol.

This chapter is dedicated to @Shoaff bc they're super and cool and you should read their stories >:]

Bye friends!!!!!!