Got Your Six

Chapter 12

Calvin - Present Day

My screams drift through the air as I continue to pull the trigger. Gavin's car made it out of the park, but not before his back windshield was blown out by the many bullets flying his way. I'm sure I went through every last bullet of mine after I watched Cameron go down. My body filled with adrenaline as soon as I seen Gavin point his gun out the window and I just started pulling the trigger until it wouldn't fire anymore.
I can hear the train approaching as I rush across the parking lot towards Cameron. Gavin is gone, there's nothing I can do about that now. The only thing I can afford to worry about now is making sure my brother makes it out of this park alive. He hasn't moved since he hit the ground.
"Cameron! CAMERON!" I shout at the top of my lungs, but it's no use.
The front of his blue sweatshirt is now coated red. Gonzales intercepts me before I make it to him, holding me back as if he doesn't want me to see, but it's too late for that, I've already seen everything. I struggle to get out of his grasp until I see Captain Bennett rush to his side with a first aid bag in his hand.
"Dispatch we need medical at Riverfront Park immediately," Captain Bennett says and then begins digging through the bag, looking for anything that might help.
"Reason?" I hear a female voice ask through the radio.
Captain Bennett stops digging long enough to say, "Several gunshot wounds," and then pulls out a package of gauze.
I'm hunched down on the ground, my tears falling to the pavement, while Gonzales clutches me from behind. I've stopped fighting him, stopped trying to escape his grasp, but he continues to hold me. I'm unsure if he's still trying to keep me from interfering or if he's just trying to comfort me now, but all I can do is watch through tear-filled eyes while Captain Bennett tries to save my brother's life.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," I mumble but the words come out complete gibberish.
I never should've let him be put in this position. I should've told the Captain 'no' when he asked for Cameron's help. It's too late for that now. Now, my brother is lying on the cold hard ground, fighting for his life.
The train rolls past, blocking the only entrance into the park, preventing the medical team from getting to Cameron. Captain Bennett is holding the gauze firmly against his chest, doing everything he can to keep the blood in his body.
I'm sitting still on the ground, feeling stuck, unable to move while everything plays out around me. Gonzales finally lets me go, but keeps a hand on my shoulder, which I assume is supposed to be his way of comforting me. Nothing in the world could comfort me right now. Not unless my brother miraculously got up from the ground and started dancing around. I'd give anything to trade places with him. It should be me on the ground instead of him. He doesn't deserve this.
I remain in a state of shock until the train clears the intersection and the Ambulance rushes into the park. Without hesitation, the medics rush to Cameron's aid and begin checking his wounds and searching for a pulse. When they can't find one, I hear one of the medics say, "Time of death: 11:07."
I feel as if part of me dies when I hear the medic say those words. The tears continue to run down my face while they load him into the back of the ambulance and drive off down the road.
"We have to go get him," I say softly from the backseat after Gonzales gets me back into the vehicle.
Captain Bennett looks back at me with pity in his eyes.
"Gavin! We have to go get him!" I yell into the front of the vehicle. "We can't just let him get away!"
"Son, it's over. Gavin's gone, we have no clue where he might have gone," Captain Bennett tells me, then turns to face the front of the vehicle again.
Gonzales puts the SUV in motion, bringing us back to the station.
"We have to go get him," I mumble from the back seat and then tumble into a fit of tears again.
The ride back to the station is completely silent. Apparently, no one knows what to say in this sort of situation. I wonder if Captain Bennett is feeling guilty at all. It doesn't matter anyway, no one can feel more guilty than me right now. I'm the one who brought him into this situation. I'm responsible for what happened.
Captain Bennett guides me to his office once we get back to the station, closing the door behind us.
"Have a seat," he says softly as he walks around his desk to take a seat in his own chair.
I do as he says but remain silent, staring into my lap, thinking of all the other ways this could've been handled. We should've had another officer pose as a buyer. We should've just stormed his house. We should've left Cameron out of this.
"I can't imagine what you're going through right now. I just want to say I'm sorry," Captain Bennett says to me. I can feel him looking at me but my eyes remain locked on my empty lap. I don't want to look up only to see the pity in his eyes. "We need to talk about how we're going to move forward."
"Move forward?" I ask, finding the courage to look up and meet his gaze.
"Yes, I think you should," Captain Bennett begins before I cut him off.
"We need to go out there and get that fucker," I tell him, my voice getting a little louder with every word. "We need to find him and make sure he spends the rest of his life in prison for killing my brother!" The tears begin rolling down my cheeks again. I attempt to wipe them away but they become too persistent.
"He will," Captain Bennett assures me. "But for now, I think you should let us handle this."
"Are you kidding me? I need to be out there with you, he was my brother," I insist, trying to get my voice under control but my words continue to come out loudly. I wonder if anyone outside the office is going to come check on us but that's the last of my worries right now.
"I know he was your brother and that's why I don't want you involved in this any longer," Captain tells me.
I stare at him, unable to find the words to reply.
"You're too close to this and, no offense, but I don't need your feelings getting in the way, I'm sorry Jenkins, I really am. As of now, I'm going to be putting you on a leave of absence until further notice, so you can grieve the loss of your brother," the Captain's words come as a surprise to me.
The last thing I want right now is to go on a 'leave of absence'. I want to be out there, searching for the man that killed my brother. Captain Bennett was okay with letting my brother help with a dangerous sting operation but now that he's dead, he won't even let me help track down his killer. I suddenly feel a sense of betrayal. The Captain has never wronged me ever since I joined the force but I feel as if he's turning his back on me now.
"So that's it?" I ask him quietly. The anger is starting to boil up inside me. I want to rush out of the station and go find Gavin myself but I know that won't help the situation. It definitely won't help me right now. "You're not going to let me help at all? I'm supposed to just sit at home and wait for you guys to catch him?"
"I'm sorry, it's just better this way," he tells me.
"Better for who?" I ask loudly.
"Please, Jenkins, I know you're hurting right now but you're in no position to question me," Captain Bennett says and I wonder if that's supposed to be a threat or not. "Go home, go be with your family."
I remain seated for a few seconds, trying to think of something else to say. Something that would make him change his mind and let me work the case but it's no use. He's clearly made up his mind from the moment we got back to the station. Instead, I opt to not say anything at all as I get up from my seat and walk out of his office. Gonzales looks up at me from his desk as I walk by him. I immediately sense the pity in his eyes and look away, continuing out of the station. 
The night feels colder when I walk out of the station. It feels darker, and somehow more quiet than before. Almost as if I'm the only one in the whole city. I walk across the parking lot, listening to my footsteps fill the silence, and get into my truck, clutching the keys in my hand as I sit in the drivers seat. I sit in the deafening silence as my watch clicks closer to midnight.
Captain Bennett comes out into the parking lot as I'm sitting in my truck, not having the energy to drive home quite yet. At first I think he's about to walk over to me but then I watch as he gets into his car and pulls out of his parking space. He drives right past my truck but doesn't look over at me, he just continues out of the lot as if he's in a hurry to get somewhere. Something in my mind tells me to follow him, to find out where he's in such a rush to. I finally stick the key into the ignition and turn it, listening to the sound of my truck start up. I put my truck into drive just as Captain Bennett's car disappears into the night and I decide to finally take myself home instead of letting my paranoia get the best of me. He's probably just in a rush to get home and go to sleep anyway.
Kayla is sleeping when I get home. She doesn't ever wait up for me anymore. "I know you'll come back to me," she always tells me, "I'd kick your ass if you didn't."
It made me laugh when she had said it the first time. Now, I think about her saying that in a completely different light. Cameron doesn't get to go home tonight. His wife doesn't ever get to see him again. In another world, that could've very easily been me.
I watch her sleep for a couple seconds before deciding to close the bedroom door and make my way to the couch. I don't want to risk waking her up right now. I don't want her to ask me how the night went. I'm not ready for that conversation right now. I don't think I ever will be.