phan // one-shots

Thoughts - Phil

summary: poetic style again hmm I wonder who's pov this will be in 
word count: 0.8k

I thought about the first days, the days where my heart would beat just a little faster every time I stared into your warm brown eyes.

Because they weren't just brown. They were warm and comforting and a thousand different shades of chocolate and chestnut and coffee, sweet and affectionate and kind, just like you. The way they just fitted with your beautiful tanned skin. The way you always hated them, even after I told you I didn't.

I thought about the next days, the days where the butterflies would begin to flutter every time I saw your smile. You smiled a lot. You smiled at me, at all the dorky stupid little things I did, smiled at innocent little Phil. At first, I was so cautious to smile back, so afraid of getting hurt. So afraid of falling for you. But then I thought about the way your eyes glittered when you were happy, and then my smile wasn't cautious. It was real.

I thought about those days, the days where I first realised you were beautiful. The days I loved it when your cocoa-coloured hair was perfectly straight and I loved it even more when it was messy and curly. The days I fell for you hard, but I didn't know if you felt the same way. The way you would make me laugh like no-one else could.

I thought about the days I was completely and utterly in love with you.

I thought about the day I told you I loved you.

I thought about the day you told me you didn't love me back.

I thought about the way it hurt so badly, like you'd stolen a piece of my heart you couldn't give back. It was exactly what I was afraid of, because I was still in love with you, your eyes, your hair, your smile. Because you were so beautiful.

I thought about the day you told me you were scared, and I asked you why.

I thought about the day you told me you loved me back, the way your lips crashed against mine and it was perfect - you were perfect, because you weren't scared anymore. The way we kissed and I couldn't stop smiling wider than ever at you and your beautiful brown eyes. And you were more beautiful than ever, and you made my heart beat a hundred times faster.

I thought about the day we first held hands, and it was the most natural thing in the world for me, and the butterflies in my stomach wouldn't stop fluttering at the way your hand fit perfectly into mine, like we were made for each other.

I thought about our kisses, kisses that I'd waited so long for that were so perfect, stolen in those little London coffee shops and the park bench we carved our names into so our kiss would last forever.

Moments that lasted a lifetime, moments I'll never forget.

I thought about the day it rained. We fought. You left. I thought you were never going to come back, but you did. And the way I was so upset and angry but just relieved that you were okay because I didn't know what to do without you. Because I was so lost without you. I thought about the days of broken promises and apologies, the days we never wanted. The days we wanted to forget.

I thought about your eyes, your smile. The way they were so beautiful and it took you so long to see that.

I thought about the days where I'd accept your apologies again and again because I knew we could make it through, just like we'd done before. I knew I loved you more than anything else, and that was enough.

I thought about the day we kissed after so long, and it was like walking on air, and I saw you fall in love with me all over again. I had never fallen out.

I thought about the day you promised to never have to apologise again. The day where you said you didn't deserve me, and that was the biggest lie you ever told, even if you didn't know it.

I thought about the day we kissed on camera and it was the best feeling in the world - no more secrets, no more lies. Just us, together. Like we were meant to be.

I thought about the days I never stopped smiling, only because I was with you.

I thought about the day you got down on one knee, and you told me exactly what I had wanted to say, what I'd wanted you to say for so long - "I love you."

I thought about that day when I said yes.

I thought about the day I walked down the aisle and saw you standing there, and you'd never looked so beautiful, so handsome.

I thought about the day I kissed you and you held my hand and I never let it go.

I won't ever let it go. I love you.

I thought about the day I wrote this. For you, the reason why my heart beats a little faster every time I look into your warm brown eyes.

Because they're not just brown. They're beautiful.