phan // one-shots

"Anytime, Princess."

based on real, very traumatising events that actually happened to me and the latest less amazing phil - phil lester vs. praying mantis ^-^
moths are scary shut up
summary: cute fluffy drabble: in which dan is terrorised by a moth.
word count: 684

There is a very threatening moth in Dan's bedroom, and Dan can almost see Phil raising an eyebrow, hear him trying to stifle a laugh as soon as he presses send on his very distressed text. Okay, he can definitely hear him laughing, but that's only because he's only on the other side of his bedroom wall. This, however, doesn't really matter, because there is a very threatening moth in Dan's bedroom and if it so much as moves Dan's either going to a) throw his phone at it, b) scream, c) curse all moths to eternal hell or, most likely, d) all of the above.

message sent at 23:51: phillll help there's a very threatening moth in my bedroom
received at 23:52: How can a moth be threatening???
sent at 23:53: it's bloody massive and I swear it's staring at me helllppppp
received at 23:55: Do moths even have eyes?
sent at 23:56: it's literally the biggest bloody moth I have ever seen
sent at 23:57: i think it's going to eat me
sent at 23:59: Phil? Hello????
received at 00:01: Sorry I was googling moths
sent at 00:02: phil jfc as my boyfriend it's your responsibility to save me from these things
sent at 00:03: OH CRAP IT JUST FLEW AT ME JESUS
sent at 00:04: PHIL IT'S ATTACKING ME HELPPPP

Dan doesn't know what Phil replies after that,seeing as his phone has been catapulted to the other side of his room as he's  too busy nervously flailing at the moth in some sort of attempt to get it to leave him alone. It probably doesn't appreciate it and proceeds to fly crazily around the room and Dan is tempted to climb out the window and set fire to his bedroom if it will get it to leave. Does the insurance cover that?
It's only a soft knock on the door that bring him to his senses as he sits hunched up on the bed, transfixed by the small brown winged creature which is honestly just slightly confused as to how it got in here in the first place and very distracted by Dan's fairy lights.
"Dan?" Phil asks softly, making his way in with a warm smile at the sight of his 6ft 3 boyfriend huddled up on the bed, beautiful brown eyes wide in fear, and a small part of him wonders if this is what it's like to have a kid.
He'd maybe like that, one day. 

Dan wordlessly points to the moth which is currently crawling up the wall and, holding back a laugh, Phil carefully and calmly entraps the moth in a glass and slides a magazine underneath it, proudly presenting it to Dan and happily looking as if he's found a new best friend. Aside from the terror subsiding, a small part of Dan wonders if this is what it's like to have a kid.

He'd maybe like that, one day. 

"I'm going to name him Winston." Phil says proudly and that makes Dan laugh.
"You already called the praying mantis Winston, you spork."
"Well he can be Winston II."
Dan carefully slides off his bed and opens the window, backing out of the way so Phil can release "Winston II" back into the night. It's only when the window is firmly shut that Dan lets out a huge breath and sees Phil grinning at him.
"Shut up..." He says sheepishly as he puts his arms around Phil's waist,pressing a quick and gentle kiss to his forehead.
"Thank you for saving me." Dan says quietly which leads to a gentle embrace. Phil's used to this by now – this isn't the first time Dan's been terrorised by a moth and it certainly won't be the last. That doesn't matter though – Phil will always be there to save him.
"Anytime, princess."
Dan whacks him on the arm then, but proceeds to kiss him sweetly & softly,deciding that, moth long forgotten, with Phil he either wants to a) play Mario Kart, b) cuddle and watch a movie, c) make out and, most likely, d) all of the above.