We Have a Problem

Part 18

About five days after Carina got her second vaccine, she was driving with Maya to Station 19 to get her first one. It was actually Maya's first time driving since she had been sick and while she probably would have been fine alone, she was grateful Carina was with her for the journey. She was also grateful that the Italian would be there to hold her hand while she got the vaccine. Maya was no stranger to needles, especially after the past few months, but it didn't mean she enjoyed them and having her girlfriend there would make it a little easier.

"I have really missed driving," Maya said as she carefully drove down the road, "It's weird that it has been so long since I drove."

"If I didn't know how long it had been, I wouldn't have any idea," Carina said, smiling at her, "You are doing a great job."

"Now maybe I can start getting out of the house more," Maya said, "I mean, I have been doing better. I was actually thinking about maybe trying to go back to work for a few hours maybe a few days a week. Just to get out of the house and get back into some kind of normalcy?"

"Are you sure you are ready for that?" Carina asked.

"Honestly, I don't know," Maya said, "And it scares me a little bit, but I have to do it at some point. I mean, I need to go back to work eventually. And if I go back and I can't manage it, I can always take a step back again and reevaluate. But I haven't been napping nearly as much recently and I am gaining some stamina back. And it's just desk work. It's not much different than sitting at home. It would just be sitting at the station and filling out paperwork, maybe doing some meetings if the paperwork goes ok. I think I am physically ready for it."

"What about mentally?" Carina asked, knowing that had been a big battle in Maya's recovery.

"I think I am," Maya said, "It definitely makes me more nervous, but I think I have a pretty good handle on that too. I won't go back tomorrow, but I was thinking maybe Monday so that's like 4 more days at home. I can recover from this vaccine if it makes me feel bad and then maybe schedule and extra appointment with Diane just to make sure?"

"I think that is a good plan," Carina nodded.

"Are you sure you are ok with it?" Maya asked as she pulled into the parking lot at the station.

"I will be," Carina nodded, taking a deep breath, "I know you need to go back, and I want to trust you that you will listen to your body, but you have not always been the best at that and that scares me. And also, the last time you went to work, you ended up extremely sick and I almost lost you and while I am fully aware that those two things have nothing to do with each other, it is still scary. But I also want you to go back and I know you will be ok. I think I am also going to need to talk to my therapist before you go back."

"Carina, if you aren't ready, I can wait," Maya said, taking Carina's hand in her own, "I know this has all been a lot for you and I don't want to make it harder."

"No," Carina said, "I think it is going to be hard no matter when you go back and if you are feeling ready, then I want you to go back."

"I promise I will try to make it as easy for you as possible," Maya said, bringing Carina's hand to her lips, "Whatever you need me to do, I will do it. You want a call ever hour? Done. You want a text every fifteen minutes? I'll do it. You want to sit in my office with me? Ok. You just tell me, ok?"

"Grazie Bambina," Carina smiled, knowing her girlfriend was serious, "I will let you know. For now, though, should we go get you your first vaccine?"

"Yes please," Maya said, "I never ever want to do this again."

"Let's go," Carina said, opening her car door as they both got out, lacing their fingers together as they headed inside the station, Maya holding on to the form she had filled out at home to give to whoever was vaccinating them today while Carina carried a container of biscotti she had made for the station to celebrate this day.