We Have a Problem

Part 19

Over the next few days, Maya recovered from her vaccine and preparing herself to go back to work. Carina was also mentally preparing herself to watch her girlfriend go back to work. She talked to her therapist on Saturday, working through some of her fears and trying to understand why she was so anxious and how she could work through it.

Along with Maya, she came up with a plan to help her work through the fear she had and also help make this transition more manageable for her. Carina came to accept that a lot of how she was feeling was connected to her fear of losing her girlfriend that had basically existed since the beginning of their relationship because of Maya's job but now that something bad had happened, that fear was magnified.

Logically, Carina knew Maya was just going to sit at a desk and file paperwork for a few hours a few days a week, but she was so used to being terrified every time the fire captain went to work that she was struggling to convince her brain that Maya would be ok. That, coupled with her fears about Maya's health in general were kicking up her anxiety.

They decided that Maya would send her a text every hour while she was working, just checking in and letting her know how she was doing, at least at first until Carina was able to adjust. Carina was also going to take Maya to work on the first day and stay for the first hour or two, just to make sure Maya was settled and to help ease her anxiety.

Maya was completely fine with that, knowing it would also help her own anxiety about going back to work.

On Sunday, the atmosphere in the apartment was anxious and unsettled all around. Vic had left in the morning to go hang out with Travis, wanting to give Maya and Carina space for the day so they could spend the time they needed together. They spent much of the day just being together, Carina helping Maya with her PT in the morning including doing the stairs in the apartment along with walking around the building.

Maya had missed her PT appointment on Thursday because of how sick she was, but she had emailed with her therapist and had gotten the go ahead to start extremely light walking if Carina or someone else was there with her to supervise. It had been good to get out of the house and walk around the apartment complex.

Maya could feel the atrophy that had happened in her muscles in the past few months so finally being about to start working them more felt good.

After the walk, the two of them had curled up on the couch, Carina putting on a movie but after only twenty minutes, Maya got up and walked out of the room, Carina figuring she had just gone to the bathroom or something but when five minutes passed and then ten, she got worried, pausing the movie before getting up and going into the bedroom, finding Maya curled up on the bed, the occasional tear running down her cheek.

"Hey," Carina said, going over to her side, "Bambina, what's wrong?"

"I don't know," Maya said, "I just...the TV was too much and I don't..."

"Hey, it's ok," Carina said, sitting down on the edge of the bed, "It's ok if that is too much."

"But it can't be," Maya said, the tears going faster, "How am I supposed to work if I can't even deal with the noise of the TV? I mean, the station is going to be louder and if I can't eve watch TV, this is going to be such a disaster and what if I can never get back to normal work again?"

"You will," Carina said, rubbing Maya's back, "You will figure it out. I think you are just very anxious right now and it is making things worse right now. How about I turn off the lights and maybe turn on the diffuser and we can just lay here together and relax ok?"

Maya nodded, wiping at her tears as Carina turned off the lights, setting up the diffuser with some lavender and lemon oil, knowing Maya couldn't really smell them, but Carina wanted them so she did it anyway.