The Empty Ones (Fantasy Romance)

16. Bliss is dangerously confusing

"Do you believe in the afterlife, Zara? In the realm of the gods where milk and honey flow in rivers?" asked Chioma, balancing a straw in her mouth.

It was a sunny afternoon, one of the rare moments we didn't have to work and were lying in the shadows of a big mamoth three in the priory garden.

"No. There is no such thing, it's only a promise and deception to make you obedient. This life is all there is," said Mairi.

"I didn't ask you! I know you don't believe in anything but then how do you explain magic and life as a whole? I asked her. I want to know why you act the way you do. Is it because you think that the gates to the realm of gods will open to you if you get blessings in this world?"

"Magic is like-"

"Mairi, shut up. Let her speak."

Mairi showed Chioma her middle finger. Meanwhile, I knew this was a rude gesture. When I did it once, one of the sisters saw me and I got a hard slap for it. Why? I am supposedly a high-born lady and it's not allowed for us to do that. Now I also have a scar along that finger to remind me.

"I am not sure," I answered hesitantly. "I think life and magic are proof of the existence of gods but how these gods think and what they want is not something I am sure of. I was raised in the faith of Zenith like most of the manab but I understand why people like Mairi get estranged from faith if they ask for important things and the prayers are not answered. However, there is still the lingering thought that maybe we are undeserving of what we ask for or that the gods know better what is actually good for us..."

"Zara, stop talking," said Chioma. Why were people constantly telling me that?

"But you asked."

"I know. It just makes me feel strange listening to you. You sound like a kahil. Not one of the old drunkards that you sometimes see in a worn down shrine, but like one that knows his way with words. I once heard the Alsayid speak. I was with my parents in a crowd in Miayatma and he was addressing the small folk. The way his voice sounded made my skin bare goosebumps even if I didn't understand half of the words. I remember my mother was weeping at the end of his sermon."

Father was famous for his sermons, his understanding of the souls of people, and for his way around political matters. At least that was what I was told. I never heard him speak in a shrine or a basilique. And at his funeral, the Emperor presided over the ritual but I don't really remember much of it.

The Alsayid was customary leading several holly rituals along the star circle. Most of the court was present at those. I was never allowed to go. I knew all the rituals by heart as I was instructed in religious practice by Kahil Naval, the one presiding over the shrine in the palace of Seaheaven when my father was gone. He was far from being my favourite teacher but I was docile and eager to please.

When I asked Hara if my father was ashamed of me because I am empty and that's why he never takes me to watch the sermons, she didn't answer. She didn't have to.

"Stop running, Sarella!" screamed Itotia, chasing after the half-quita girl that was significantly faster.

"Catch me!" She screamed back but couldn't hide her laughter.

Itotia caught her, lifted her up, and stood in front of us, child in arms.

"Useless ones, I kindly ask you to come inside to dine." She made a mock bow in front of us.

"The sham soleus will need a bit longer to set," answered Chioma.

"I wasn't useless when I took care of your sorry ass," said Mairi.